# I hate being told how to raise MY fish.



## Lordsameth (Jan 19, 2011)

It drives me crazy when other people tell me the proper ways of raising my fish. Specifically non-fish people. I do daily water changes in Biscotti's quarantine tank and when my step-dad found out he flipped, telling me I am killing him and you aren't supposed to change your fishes water at all, just add new stuff. I explained ammonia and he wouldn't listen.

When we were kids, we kept all kinds of incompatible fish together. Most notably my brother kept a Betta and a goldfish together. He recently suggested I keep my 6 inch albino tiger barb in my five gallon tank with Biscotti. I said Betta are best left alone and he brought up that I should just put them all in one tank. 2 male Betta and a tiger barb. Beautifully compatible.

How about you? Ever receive bad advice from non-fish people?


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## naturegirl243 (Aug 1, 2010)

Oh my that would not turn out pretty putting them all together.For awhile my mom thought I was "obsessive" and that I should just leave the fish alone........now she has two bettas Po a Dal. VT that lives in a 2.5 minibow and her female Knomi who lives in a Marina 2 Gal. "goldfish starter" kit.I did have someone at my petco a customer not a worker tell me when I got Diego that he looked dieased....He is a dragon he just has a second set of scales lol.


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## Abby (Jan 13, 2011)

i go one better then all this. my bf has had fish forever, he like the barbs catfish loaches etcetc, hes just getting to setting up his salt water tank, He has NEVER had bettas but insists he knows EVERYTHING about them and tells me im paranoid when my bettas look off colour, this causes QUITE a few arguements


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

my mom once told me i should keep goldfish and bettas together. >.> i told her no. xD i'm teaching her proper fish care now. :3


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## BettasForever (Jan 18, 2011)

I HATE this. I do the same thing to my parents! They don't understand how delicate bettas are. Bettas are such lovely fish and should not be treated that way.


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

I loathe this kind of thing. 
"Oh, you shouldn't do water changes every 2 weeks, it'll stress your fish out."
"Yeaahh, Okay. :roll:"


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## vaygirl (Sep 10, 2009)

Luckily my husband knows nothing about fish and admits to it! Well, nothing beyond what I've told him when I'm cleaning tanks. Even if he did, my fish, my decisions. 

BUT there's a lady who works at my Petco and she's the aquatic's expert. She's told me more then once that I'm killing my bettas by using a heater and cleaning their tank too often and feeding them too much. She recommended to feed them once a week and clean their tanks once a month or two. She says it's the only way she can get hers to live longer then a month. :/ She tried to talk me out of a heater once.


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## Lordsameth (Jan 19, 2011)

Gosh, those people who think they know more than Betta fanatics... The lady at the pet store I get my fish at doesn't seem to even see the Betta as living creatures.


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## Betta Slave (Dec 8, 2009)

I've never gotten this... my parents don't try and get in the way of how I take care of my fish (my dad was a fish person himself- that's where I got my basic knowledge from). My friends don't really care about my fish, so I don't get any wrong advice from them. 

Even the people at my pet/fish-store don't tell me what to do... it's nice.


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

Lucky you!


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## Alexanderismylife (Jun 14, 2010)

Yeah,My mom actually does this quite often. >.< It's not so bad anymore now she just kinda annoys me by saying that I don't feed them enough and do too many water changes. :roll: A couple weeks ago she actually added Fin Rot meds to Claras tank! (ARGH) When she obvouisly showed no signs of fin rot since her fins were perfect and had no holes or tears in them what so ever. Blahhh! Now I pretty much just keep all my fish supplies hidden and just ignore her comments. :l


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## Lordsameth (Jan 19, 2011)

So lucky. I do my best, and I KNOW my fish are happy.


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## Pekemom (Jan 27, 2011)

I've got the same lucky situation as Vaygirl - my husband knows nothing about fish and pretends to act interested when I talk about it, but I don't think he really is. That's okay - I'm not all that interested in who's winning the Super Bowl!! I do have a knowledgeable fish person at Petco that I like to talk to. But even in that case, I use my own judgement in what I do or don't do with my betta.


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## tsoto80 (Nov 26, 2010)

Just the other day I got two bettas and when I was checking out the lady behide me was admiring my boys and saying how she loves them she told me to put them in the biggest tank I can find and they will grow to the size of the tank. Can you imagine a 20 inch betta lol I asked her if she had a betta she told me she did have one for ten years and held her hands out for how many inches he was about 6 inches according to her okay maybe it is possible but probably by proffesionals and not a drunken old lady.


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## LittleBettaFish (Oct 2, 2010)

I hate this. I sort of have fish tanks everywhere, they spread when I ran out of power points, so you kind of do notice them. When we have visitors, they look at my tanks, and then usually say: "Is there only one fish in there? Why is it so big for one fish?" or something along that vein.

The thing is, one of my fish has about 8 gallons to itself while the others have from 3.5 to 7 gallons each, so it's not like their tanks are huge. I then have to patiently explain that fish like having more room to swim around and explore, plus maintenance is easier on larger tanks. If I wanted low maintenance, I would go find that pet rock we liberated into our front yard when I was about five.

It seems whenever I mention I own fish to anyone they tell me: "I had fish once and they all died". It has gotten to the point now where I just finish their sentence for them, and then go on to explain cycling, water changes, proper care etc. Everyone at work now refers to me as the Crazy Fish Lady.

Another 'good' one is when people suggest I should put my fish together and fight them. Because supposedly it's fun to watch my pets maim and kill each other. Sometimes I think our gene pool needs some bleach.


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## Aluyasha (Sep 2, 2010)

My aunt tells me all the time how I clean my fish tanks way too much. And everytime one of my fish dies, she says it is because I am a bad owner.
Also I get that same comment from my cousin, littlebettafish. About why I have 5-2.5 gallons with only one fish in it. Even though he has a 55 gallon with just one fish in it (a red devil).


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

People keep telling me to put goldfish in with my betta boys... I can't figure out why on earth they think it's a good idea. I just don't get where they come up with it. I've also had the chick at the petco tell me not to buy a heater


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## tsoto80 (Nov 26, 2010)

I also have tanks all over my house....well kinda it just looks like a lot when they are being treated in the hospital or I get a new one and quarantine them I have a ten divided three ways in my room, a five gallon in my son's room that I want to divide and my 20 gallon sorority/community tank in my dining room I was showing them off to my BF uncle and my mother-in-law had a bad look on her face like she wanted to say something mean


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

If she ever does say something mean, ask her how many pairs of shoes or bottles of nail polish she has. At least you have an interest in something that is, to be redundant, interesting.


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

i adore the people at the pet store i go to. they know alot about different kinds of fish. i'm totally crushing on the one guy, too. xD he's the one who orders the neat bettas, which is why i have Theo now. <3 when i told them my plan for dividing the 10 gallon, they seemed rather pleased. "that gives them alot of room each" was about what they said. <3


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## fishman12 (Sep 1, 2010)

My petco has never given me 'advice' on keeping betta fish.


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## xBUBBLESx (Feb 7, 2011)

Ive had some fights with my friend... She thinks she knows everything about pets becouse she has a *DOG*  and she had a goldfish once well she gives me such advice ''you should get a small tank its better for them '' and dont clean it too often youll hill him'' ''why do you even need a heater their perfectly fine with out it '

yeah right thanks =S i sometimes hate her ...


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

people seem to think that bettas are nasty, boring, yet beautiful fish who look best in small bowls/vases. :/ if only they could see the beautiful, flowing Halfmoons many of you guys have, or my wonderfully active, beautiful bunch of boys and girls.


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## xBUBBLESx (Feb 7, 2011)

when i told my friend that i had a fishie they all said ''wow how interesting ...'' with the bored expression on their faces And i was like in my head '' Thats right keep on laughing but when you see how beautifu he is youll want one too...'' -evil laugh-

now two of my buddies + a boy in my class owns a betta ^^


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## vaygirl (Sep 10, 2009)

I remember telling my best friend I had a betta (when I first had Tango) and she said, "Aren't they those ugly fish you keep in little bowls?" :shock:


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## xBUBBLESx (Feb 7, 2011)

UGLY FISH....?!? even my friends dont dare to cross that road ... >


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

i've had friends say fish are boring, but never ugly.


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## vaygirl (Sep 10, 2009)

I know! I said, I don't think you're thinking of bettas. They're not ugly. I was all insulted. Lol!


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## xBUBBLESx (Feb 7, 2011)

well i told them that fish can be exciting too like i have tought my fish to swim trough hoops and stuff their not boring at all ...


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I've never had anyone telling me how to take care of my fish. No one around here cares what I do as long as I don't get any more. lol


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

Everyone seems to call me boring because I like fish! I'm telling them that they are WRONG!


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## bettamaniac (Jan 6, 2011)

I have a comment about keeping goldfish with bettas. You cant because you most likely have a too small aquarium for a goldfish. If you keep the tank warm for a betta its to warm for a goldfish and vice versa. The huge bioload of the goldfish can end up killing both fish. Lastly goldfish and bettas sometimes nip at each others fins.


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## Aluyasha (Sep 2, 2010)

Alot of people tell me that Bettas are boring and depressing. "They just lay at the bottom and never move". I tell them that that means they have never seen a properly cared for Betta.
If your Betta was boring and depressing it was because you did not take care of it. Period.


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## Lordsameth (Jan 19, 2011)

My Betta are soooooo energetic and interesting. They are a real pick-up, and very VERY loveable.


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

"You know you can keep your male and female bettas in the same tank, right?" o.o'


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

^ Lol. I always seemed to get asked, "You can't put your males together, right?" "Your males aren't in the same tank, right?"

Although, if we don't like people telling us how to take care of our fish, why did we join this forum? :lol:

:JK:


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

If we don't like being told how to take care of our fish, why did we join this site? :lol:

:jk:


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

I like learning tips and tricks because I'm newby, but when people who don't have fish or periodically kill their fish tell me stuff.... >.>


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

Did my iPod goof up again with the double post? *Headdesk*

Sorry! I need to learn how to use the internet better.


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

Lol, it's all good. ^_^ Also, I thought metals were poisonous to bettas? Is copper an exception?


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

Yes, copper is still a metal. lol


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

That's pretty much what I was thinking. Just people are weird I guess. I think I'm going to start ignoring people who aren't on these forums, lol


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## RiverStoneBetta (Feb 22, 2011)

I recently got into an argument with a friend of mine over how to properly house a betta. The odd part is she's of the school of thought that bettas MUST be housed in nothing less than 5 gallons and is absolutely appalled at my betta that lives in a 2.5 gallon, filtered, heated, cycled tank. 

After grilling her for a bit, I found out that she knows nothing of the nitrogen cycle, and assumes that "more water is better" and that it simply fixes everything.


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

I think the next person to tell me to put a mirror in my Betta's tank is gonna get hit... >.> My response to that was "How would -you- like to go through life feeling like there was someone always threatening and attacking you or breaking into your house?" She hushed pretty quickly after that...


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## RiverStoneBetta (Feb 22, 2011)

I concur. 

Actually, along the lines of the flaring, my mother recently said something about my bettas not flaring up all the time. I made her walk into my room about 10 seconds before I did. As soon as I walked in, all three bettas flared and began wiggle-dancing for food. Quinn (who is admittedly my favorite) actually blows bubbles for me when I stick my face near the tank. I don't see how other people don;t see how we can be attached to them. They're like puppies in fish suits.


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

Lmao, I totally agree! My Ares gives me the "Please? I'm dying of starvation, I swear!" look whenever I get close to him, and Poseidon swims up to stare right back at me. They're both so freakin cute! I don't get non fish people, lol.


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## RiverStoneBetta (Feb 22, 2011)

I can see how people wouldn't like goldfish. But that's because I'm so use to the interaction between me and my bettas. Even my grandmother agrees that bettas have personalities. She says she was feeding my hordes of fish while I was out of town. Quinn wouldn't stop begging, so when she told him to chill out and wait, he splashed her and began sulking. She's never doubted me afterwards about my betta's antics.


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

lmao, that's awesome!


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## bloo97 (Mar 6, 2010)

Slipstitch said:


> Lmao, I totally agree! My Ares gives me the "Please? I'm dying of starvation, I swear!" look whenever I get close to him, and Poseidon swims up to stare right back at me. They're both so freakin cute! I don't get non fish people, lol.


Lol! Neither do I. :razz:


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## bettamaniac (Jan 6, 2011)

Slipstitch said:


> Lmao, I totally agree! My Ares gives me the "Please? I'm dying of starvation, I swear!" look whenever I get close to him, and Poseidon swims up to stare right back at me. They're both so freakin cute! I don't get non fish people, lol.


yep bettas are better beggars than dogs are.


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## wildmagic713 (Sep 6, 2010)

I dunno, my dog is pretty good at begging 

But there was this time that I was at my aunt's house and she had one of the other rescued Bettas from my cousin's wedding (Mine died this past weekend unfortunately but he was around 2 years old if not older so I guess it was to be expected....) and was keeping it in this tiny little bowl and not treating the water or doing changes and the poor little fellow had awful fin rot  

I was biting my tongue and I wanted to lecture her and my mom knew that and was like "We know best, we're the adults." and I wanted to kill someone. 

MY Betta was happily swimming and eating and all of that, hers was so lethargic and I wanted to go "YOU'RE BEING SO DUMB! THEY DO REQUIRE CARE!"


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## RiverStoneBetta (Feb 22, 2011)

That is probably the fastest way to ruffle my feathers in regards to bettas. Betta centerpieces are probably even more dangerous than the old peace lily vases, and your guests won't pay much attention to them anyways, except the ones that either know something about bettas, or people who drop stuff in to see what the fish do. One family I know through Scouts rescued wedding bettas and I got a bajillion phone calls in one night because of it. I ended up taking them shopping myself and gave them a crash course in fish care and water parameters.


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## wildmagic713 (Sep 6, 2010)

I had mine in a 10 gallon filtered heated treated well-cleaned tank.

I got so mad  Especially since he was NOT a VT like mine, he was a delta


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## fishman12 (Sep 1, 2010)

Yeah, I ggive advice to my friends, but only because he has 4 goldfish, 1 sucker fish, and 1 other fish in a *10 gallon*. He says he does water changes every *2* months.


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## bettamaniac (Jan 6, 2011)

fishman12 said:


> Yeah, I ggive advice to my friends, but only because he has 4 goldfish, 1 sucker fish, and 1 other fish in a *10 gallon*. He says he does water changes every *2* months.


wow that is horribly overstocked


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## Here Fishy Fishy Fishy (Oct 29, 2010)

There are a lot of mis-informed, well-meaning people out there who harbor misconceptions about bettas (and other pets). Part of that is because of how bettas are unscrupulously marketed. Part of it is 'old' science - people learned years ago about about fish-keeping... but haven't kept up with it.

Consider yourselves goodwill ambassadors for creatures who can't speak for themselves - and politely educate those you come in contact with. 

Oddly enough, some of the most irritating of the 'uneducated' are relatives, because family dynamics get in the way at times. Lead by example; when your fish thrive, those around you will take notice - although they might not be able to admitt that they were wrong, they may begin to enjoy what you are doing.

That's a start.


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## Aluyasha (Sep 2, 2010)

You are right about family being the most hard headed. 
My Aunt will not even pretend to listen to me and thinks I am wrong about everything pets. And everytime my fish dies, she thinks it is because I do not know what I am doing. But everytime one of her fish dies, she just says it was his time.
She will not stop thinking of me as the little kid she once knew and because she is older than me, she has to be right about everything. That is how she thinks of it.


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## bettamaniac (Jan 6, 2011)

Aluyasha said:


> You are right about family being the most hard headed.
> My Aunt will not even pretend to listen to me and thinks I am wrong about everything pets. And everytime my fish dies, she thinks it is because I do not know what I am doing. But everytime one of her fish dies, she just says it was his time.
> She will not stop thinking of me as the little kid she once knew and because she is older than me, she has to be right about everything. That is how she thinks of it.


an argument you could make from that is that your bettas live longer whereas her bettas dont to prove that you a taking care of them correctly.


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## Aluyasha (Sep 2, 2010)

I am still not sure. She has to be the most stubborn and narrow-minded person ever. She is so frustrating that I just do not really talk to her anymore.


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## Here Fishy Fishy Fishy (Oct 29, 2010)

Aluyasha,

Believe me, I know how you feel. :|

It's sad... you and her could share such a cool interest in fish together... but she's not open to that right now.

Arguing with your Aunt won't make the situation better... and will just make you feel worse. Lead by example. Either she comes around or she doesn't, but in the meantime, you've done the right thing for your fish... and you.

There is an old saying...."You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". Think of it this way... "You can lead a man to truth, but you can't make him THINK". It's up to the other person to grow and change... no matter how much you nuture them and help them to see. 

There are none so blind, as those who will not see... pity them, for they are the ones who are missing out. Stay open-hearted, though... people change, sometimes when you least expect it...


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## Torat (Dec 22, 2010)

fishman12 said:


> My petco has never given me 'advice' on keeping betta fish.



Mine did.

"Bettas are fine in a gallon of water-they live in puddles so they don't really swim anyway. They just sit there." 

My logic? So if I lived in a 9'x9' room my whole life, I wouldn't ACTIVELY ENJOY or DESERVE a 1200 sqft house? 

The fish in your little cups are DYING. All their energy is going towards survival, NOT SWIMMING. They swim and they damned well enjoy it, if you take GOOD CARE of them.

When I'm looking to buy a betta from any of the Petcos up here, I put them next to one another to see them flare. Why? Because I want to see their tails. Why? Because every single male I've gotten from Petco has had some sort of fin rot, fungal infection, parasite, tail torn to shreds, etc.

I had one Petco representative actually lecture me that "Flaring is bad for bettas. It stresses them out to see another betta." I said, "I'm checking for signs of illness and need the fish to flare for me." His reply was, "Well, you're going to cause the betta to get ill doing that. If it gets stressed, it'll DIE." I had the cups next to one another only maybe 20 seconds by that point (he was a hoverer). 

On another note, the Petsmart up here has an aquatics expert that ROCKS. I was looking at a bowl for a temporary quarantine tank, and he was really worried (he had seen me lookin' at the bettas before and we talk while I buy my plants, etc). He stopped me and gave me a lecture that even one male fish should have at least five gallons of water, and he'd be MORE than happy to walk me through getting the set up and working, and that I should NOT expect to get any fish for about a month and a half going on two, etc. He was really, really concerned. It was sweet. My response? "Darlin', I have a single male betta in a 10 gallon cycled, planted tank. You need NOT worry that I'll put a fish in this teeny bowl for anything other than salt baths."

His look of relief was priceless.


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## Slipstitch (Feb 19, 2011)

Torat said:


> Mine did.
> 
> "Bettas are fine in a gallon of water-they live in puddles so they don't really swim anyway. They just sit there."
> 
> ...


Send him to the petsmart by my place!!! O.O 

I swear, I'm going to stop being nice to people if they keep telling me that Bettas don't LIKE lots of water because in the wild they only have a 1/2 gallon of water to swim in. Or that I don't need to keep track of the nitrites or nitrates in my tank or the ammonia or chlorine/chlorimine... I had a guy try to talk me into buying these crappy little test strips when what I wanted was the freshwater master test kit. Because Bettas don't need care. This guy worked at a place that was devoted to tropical fish. Seriously?! But you can't correct those people, because they actually work in those places... >.<' Makes me wanna smite people.

On the plus side for that store, btw, most of their bettas were fairly healthy and had some really neat color combos.


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

Torat said:


> Mine did.
> 
> "Bettas are fine in a gallon of water-they live in puddles so they don't really swim anyway. They just sit there."
> 
> ...


my males sometimes get flare sessions, where i remove the paper separating their tanks and let them flare at each other. it doesn't stress them out much, since they flare at anything anyways. it HELPS them. >.> i do it, so they get exercise, and so they poop. o3o Cup, especially, bloats easy, and needs the extra push for him to get everything out of his system. that employee doesn't know a darn thing about bettas, do they? >.>;

i like that petsmart person. :3 they make me happeh.


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## baylee767 (Nov 5, 2010)

I haven't really been told how to care for my fish before. But I have educated all of my peers in church, school, and soccer, in appropriate Betta care, and in turn all of their families, who'll spread it to their friends... So really I'm the one who gives out instrucations Lol.

You know, even fish "experts" can be dumb about this. We had a guy who studied marine biology and such (fish stuff) and worked at this marine science center come to our school to explain the nitrogen cycle (he seemed freaked out I knew the answers to all of his questions XD). He had a whole bunch of saltwater fish in 1 gallon tanks, and a Chichilid in a half filled 10 gallon aquaponics system, in which there wasn't nearly enough plants and the water was brown and the poor fish looked really sick. So, I guess sometimes you have to go with LOGIC. Which would you like better... a closet or a city... hmmm....


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## RiverStoneBetta (Feb 22, 2011)

I encountered the first Petco employee that actually knew something about first for the first time last night while I was waiting to pick up my new adopted boy. We got into a good twenty minute discussion about whether Maracyn-Oxy worked as well as Maracyn 1 & 2. (Oxy is non-antibiotic treatment, since that store doesn't carry antibiotics for fish.) We talked about our tanks for a while, and she was even nice enough to admit that she hated that "betta lounge" thing Petco has. I gave her a good review for the manager before I left, because I wasn't expecting that. It made me a little happier.


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