# Just told I needed a life because I was spending my morning with fish



## SydneyA (Jan 17, 2016)

I told a friend I was nail biting about a fish shipment coming tomorrow and planting tanks, puttering around and pretty much feeling peaceful even if kinda damp, lol. She stated I was obsessed, needed a life and to get out more...I'm not hurt, just irritated. I think if more people HAD a hobby they would be happier. Ever been told you spend too much time with fish?


----------



## Witchipoo (Dec 13, 2015)

Sounds like a fine life to me. 
People that tell other people how to live need to mind their own business.


----------



## Kaxen (Mar 3, 2013)

People who can't mind their own business need a hobby. 


Fishkeeping is super relaxing (when I'm not screaming about nutrient imbalances anyway......) and having animals helps people live longer anyhow! Seems like a good life to me!


----------



## qtbunny (May 25, 2015)

I can see how anxious you would be about fish shipment. Eventually when I don't have my three boys, I am probably going to find a giant online, and even now I worry about shipment(the safety of the fish).


----------



## qtbunny (May 25, 2015)

A lot of people think I am weird for having an obsession with betta fish, so you are not alone


----------



## Olivia27 (Nov 26, 2015)

I walked on foot to the post office carrying a box labeled LIVE FISH yesterday. I walked by a frat house, and they all pointed at me screaming: "fish?! There's a fish?! There's a fish in there?! Hey look! Fish! It's a fish!" . And then when I eventually walked past, one of the frat girls yelled "you need water!!"

I think *they* need a life.


----------



## BettaMommaHeather (Jan 22, 2016)

I get told that a lot. I'm an introvert so I dont like to go out like some friends do. They tell me all the time I need to go out more and get a life. The thing is I do have a life, I have my hobbies and fishkeeping is the newest one. I am happy and dont need to get a life bcause I am not doing what they think I should be. My life is peaceful, uncomplicated, and quiet just the way I like it. I always tell my "girlfriends" they need to try spending some time alone and get themselves a hobby they just laugh it off.


----------



## SydneyA (Jan 17, 2016)

Olivia27 said:


> I walked on foot to the post office carrying a box labeled LIVE FISH yesterday. I walked by a frat house, and they all pointed at me screaming: "fish?! There's a fish?! There's a fish in there?! Hey look! Fish! It's a fish!" . And then when I eventually walked past, one of the frat girls yelled "you need water!!"
> 
> I think *they* need a life.


I wonder why some young people need to act like idiots?


----------



## Aquastar (Jul 17, 2015)

Kids in my class: 
*punches tank glass* "look they like it" *fish hiding in caves, repeats this a few times*

*same kid eats Aqueon food* "ew how do they like this?" 

"Why do you clean the tank every week? That's too often!"

I am often frustrated.


----------



## SydneyA (Jan 17, 2016)

Aquastar said:


> Kids in my class:
> *punches tank glass* "look they like it" *fish hiding in caves, repeats this a few times*
> 
> *same kid eats Aqueon food* "ew how do they like this?"
> ...


Kudos to you teachers. I am far to easily frustrated. I have 5 kids of my own and they have been taught respect for critters. It's the parents fault. My own kids frustrate me, lol.


----------



## Aquastar (Jul 17, 2015)

I'm actually a student. Our school is known for fish because each class has a tank, so since I have more experience than other teachers so I do water changes and maintain their habitats.


----------



## SydneyA (Jan 17, 2016)

Aquastar said:


> I'm actually a student. Our school is known for fish because each class has a tank, so since I have more experience than other teachers so I do water changes and maintain their habitats.


Good for you! My teachers used to give me their fish come summer vacation.


----------



## Engel (Jan 27, 2016)

I live in a dorm with 3 other girls. One of them also keeps bettas, the other is very quiet and the fish seem to enjoy her silent company, and the last one.. well.. she's very loud and idiotic. She taps on the glass or jiggles the tanks if she has trouble finding a fish to look at, tells me we should make them fight and keep the survivor, and talks in the loudest and most piercing voice I have ever been around. I think I'd rather be around a screaming toddler. 

She's very frustrating, and I refused to leave my fish in the living room where she would have access to them. All of my babies are in my room.


----------



## trahana (Dec 28, 2015)

But but... my fish are my life. xD

I've been told I need to get a life quite often, for obvious reasons. I love spending time with animals in general, they all make me happy. They don't tell me I need to get a life at least, or talk my ear off about things I have no interest in. I think I just spent an hour watching my fish today. Seeing happy fish is just so relaxing, I fell asleep soon after. 




Engel said:


> I live in a dorm with 3 other girls. One of them also keeps bettas, the other is very quiet and the fish seem to enjoy her silent company, and the last one.. well.. she's very loud and idiotic. She taps on the glass or jiggles the tanks if she has trouble finding a fish to look at, tells me we should make them fight and keep the survivor, and talks in the loudest and most piercing voice I have ever been around. I think I'd rather be around a screaming toddler.
> 
> She's very frustrating, and I refused to leave my fish in the living room where she would have access to them. All of my babies are in my room.


Ug, I've had people visit that were like that. One time, I got so fed up with the guy pestering my betta that I growled at him. Nothing like a wolfy growl from a young girl to weird a full grown man out. That was a few years back, when I had my betta in the hallway. Now they all live in my room, safely away from strangers.


----------



## Engel (Jan 27, 2016)

trahana said:


> Ug, I've had people visit that were like that. One time, I got so fed up with the guy pestering my betta that I growled at him. Nothing like a wolfy growl from a young girl to weird a full grown man out. That was a few years back, when I had my betta in the hallway. Now they all live in my room, safely away from strangers.




Ahaha, that's one way to stop him!
My roommate's bettas are all in the living room, so of course they get bothered by strangers get invited over. It got so bad that we rearranged the entire living room to make it inconvenient to watch TV and bother the fish at the same time. You can no longer see the TV from the chairs that are at the table housing the fish ;-) TV usually wins out over fish for strangers.


----------



## christinamac (Jan 2, 2016)

I think part of the reason why people don't understand how fish-keeping can be a hobby is because they can't relate to it. I have had people comment to me:

"Parts per million? Partial water changes? Substrate? Toxicity?...This sounds so complicated how could you possibly have fun with this? It's just a fish! How complicated could it be?!" 

"I used to keep Bettas in a vase with a plant growing out of it and they did just fine. You're obsessing and over-complicating everything."

"You're such a fish nerd! You spend too much time looking up fish stuff on the internet!"

Whenever I receive comments like this, I know it is coming from a place of confusion and lack of understanding. So I try to put things in terms they can relate to:

"Keeping fish is a lot like keeping a garden. There are a lot of factors that go into a healthy garden: making sure the plants you choose are compatible with the conditions where you live, "feeding" and watering your plants, growing and shaping your plants so that with time and work you will have a beautiful garden to be proud of. You can choose how much care and effort you want to put into your garden. Maybe you want something simple and easy to take care of, or maybe you want something unique that takes a little more work. You can choose the equipment you use to take care of your garden. Some people like to use power hedge trimmers, while others prefer old-fashioned hedge scissors. You can talk to other gardeners to learn tricks of the trade.

My aquarium is my garden. I chose the species of plants and creatures that would do well in the conditions I put in place. I chose the equipment I prefer to use. I want something unique that requires more care and attention, but will turn into something beautiful and rewarding with time. I am constantly tweaking and enjoy talking to other aquarium hobbyists to learn tricks of the trade and offer advice where I can. My aquarium is my hobby, my never-ending work in progress, and a form of artistic expression. It is my way of connecting with and enjoying nature. Now is that really so odd?"


----------



## RMKelly (Jan 17, 2016)

I keep fish AND grow roses, I've been told MANY times that I need to get a life and some actual friends. I always tell them "at least I know my fish and roses won't stab me in the back and spread rumors" I grew up in a small country town where everyone's hobby was spreading rumors and backstabbing someone. 

Honestly, I prefer plants and animals over humans any day.


----------



## Hallyx (Jun 11, 2011)

SydneyA said:


> I wonder why some young people need to act like idiots?


Uhhh... because they ARE?! Some old people, too. 

In fact ...ohhh, never mind.


----------



## RussellTheShihTzu (Mar 19, 2013)

I always fall back on the old "If I valued your opinion I would have asked for it." Stops them every time.


----------



## Tourmaline (Nov 23, 2015)

My relationship ended because of my Bettas, actually.. One specifically. My favorite was very sick for two days and me and my now ex had dinner planned, but I didn't want to leave my Betta to die without me being there, so I cancelled. He said I cared more about my fish than him, even though we could have easily just eaten on another day when my beloved fish wasn't dying. He gave me an ultimatum, either go to dinner or we're though.. So yeah. My Betta pulled through, luckily. 

I keep getting told I have problems whenever I mention a really nice Betta I saw or I talk about mine. I mean, I have an empty 5g (exchanged a 3g I bought for it). It was on sale, I couldn't help it. If I get another fish, I'll have to deal with more heavy judgement from my friends and family. I'm considering getting a female my mother loved at PetSmart to get her to understand the hobby more. 

It is very frustrating being judged or criticized based on what you enjoy doing. If it makes me happy and isn't hurting anyone or anything but my wallet, who are they to judge?


----------



## LittleStar (Oct 2, 2015)

*Took The Words Right Outa My Mouth!*



Tourmaline said:


> It is very frustrating being judged or criticized based on what you enjoy doing. If it makes me happy and isn't hurting anyone or anything but my wallet, who are they to judge?


AMEN! :welldone:


----------



## stellenternet (Dec 3, 2014)

Obviously it is a good life when you have fish or else I wouldn't be "wasting my time" doing so!


----------



## SydneyA (Jan 17, 2016)

RMKelly said:


> I keep fish AND grow roses, I've been told MANY times that I need to get a life and some actual friends. I always tell them "at least I know my fish and roses won't stab me in the back and spread rumors" I grew up in a small country town where everyone's hobby was spreading rumors and backstabbing someone.
> 
> Honestly, I prefer plants and animals over humans any day.


I'm nursing a "stabbed in the back" wound right now from a different friend. I too garden. Roses and herbs mostly. I'm too trusting of people so give me fish and my dogs (and the husband and kids too I guess ;-)) I also collect dolls. They don't say much at all, lol.


----------



## Aquastar (Jul 17, 2015)

Sorry RussleThe****zu, I hate that quote because half the time I point out bad Betta care that's the response I get. If someone thinks your doing something wrong, listen, then aN educated decision.


----------



## Tolak (Nov 13, 2012)

Most are wise enough not to comment like that, lest they be put to work in the fishroom.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

christinamac said:


> I think part of the reason why people don't understand how fish-keeping can be a hobby is because they can't relate to it. I have had people comment to me:
> 
> "Parts per million? Partial water changes? Substrate? Toxicity?...This sounds so complicated how could you possibly have fun with this? It's just a fish! How complicated could it be?!"
> 
> ...


Actually I miss gardening but I was told at one point to stop gardening due to an injury and then I went back to college. So yes the fish replaced my garden. I hope when I graduate I have time for both. I like the fish in general but I especially like them because I can enjoy them inside while I study. I like that they greet me every morning when I talk to them. One wiggles and the circles back and flares. The one Cichlid I have literally starts wagging back an forth when I enter the room and she watches me no matter where I am in the room and will start banging her tank lid if I don't pay her enough attention. 
What's not to like? I don't bother talking about my fish to most people. I know they don't get it.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

Tourmaline said:


> My relationship ended because of my Bettas, actually.. One specifically. My favorite was very sick for two days and me and my now ex had dinner planned, but I didn't want to leave my Betta to die without me being there, so I cancelled. He said I cared more about my fish than him, even though we could have easily just eaten on another day when my beloved fish wasn't dying. He gave me an ultimatum, either go to dinner or we're though.. So yeah. My Betta pulled through, luckily.
> 
> I keep getting told I have problems whenever I mention a really nice Betta I saw or I talk about mine. I mean, I have an empty 5g (exchanged a 3g I bought for it). It was on sale, I couldn't help it. If I get another fish, I'll have to deal with more heavy judgement from my friends and family. I'm considering getting a female my mother loved at PetSmart to get her to understand the hobby more.
> 
> It is very frustrating being judged or criticized based on what you enjoy doing. If it makes me happy and isn't hurting anyone or anything but my wallet, who are they to judge?


He should not have asked you to make that choice. What he could have done is made dinner for you at home and been supportive. I would not get your mom the betta unless you can be there to help care for it.


----------



## torileeann11 (Dec 17, 2015)

It does feel a lot like gardening. I have 12 tanks. No one judges me out loud.. but I feel like they all think it. I spend my whole Monday cleaning and maintaining tanks. I love to clean them! I use q-tips to polish each glass marble to get algae off. I love meticulous things. I love their bloopy little faces. 

If someone is passionate about something, let them be. We don't all share the same passions thankfully. So someone can be really great at anything! I can't wait to meet someone with a passion for doughnuts personally. xD...

Some people are horrid. It is always going to be that way, don't let them get any of you down. They haven't found themselves yet.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

To some degree I blame the pet industry for making fish like decorative, disposable item. People cannot see the value in keeping and caring for the fish because they are promoted as cheap and replaceable.
For quite some time I kept getting harassed by 
"oh that is something for children, I used to do that as a child. " While some young people have fish tanks, there are some that are serious about it here. However, if adults were not interested in fish they would not be selling them. It's mostly the adults with the money to spend. Young people generally are not getting huge tanks unless they are lucky enough to have a generous parent. 

I kind of hate calling it a hobby though it kind of beckons back to the idea that fish are just decorations. I stick to calling it fish keeping which still is not ideal but at least it refers to caring for living beings.


----------



## Tourmaline (Nov 23, 2015)

jadaBlu said:


> He should not have asked you to make that choice. What he could have done is made dinner for you at home and been supportive. I would not get your mom the betta unless you can be there to help care for it.


He was just baffled that I chose caring for a fish over the relationship. But what he didn't understand was that he was dying, and it's not like we couldn't just go on another day, he was always very stubborn. I care for all of them deeply, the result would have been the same if any of my pets were sick, dog or fish. But he never understood how I see my fish, he had the 'They're just fish' mentality, no matter how I explained it to him. 

My mother lives with me.. In my room.. With all 7 of my fish. It's a long story, not getting into it.

I'd be caring for the female for the most part. I'd just leave her in charge of feeding, which she already does with two of my males, although I hand her the amount to feed. Getting the female is looking unlikely though, I have my eye on one of Lilnaugrim's adoptees I fell in love with when she first posted them, and now I have the tank for him. I'm just waiting on a heater, and for the plants I ordered to come in.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

torileeann11 said:


> It does feel a lot like gardening. I have 12 tanks. No one judges me out loud.. but I feel like they all think it. I spend my whole Monday cleaning and maintaining tanks. I love to clean them! I use q-tips to polish each glass marble to get algae off. I love meticulous things. I love their bloopy little faces.
> 
> If someone is passionate about something, let them be. We don't all share the same passions thankfully. So someone can be really great at anything! I can't wait to meet someone with a passion for doughnuts personally. xD...
> 
> Some people are horrid. It is always going to be that way, don't let them get any of you down. They haven't found themselves yet.


I have had about that many but I've cut back on betta tanks and I got a Blood Parrot which is like having really big betta that is even more interactive but she is territorial when I clean the tank and will bite. I have to wear gloves. One community tank the fish were suppose to share the Blood parrots tank but I think she will eat them so I skipped that. I have a Paradise fish. I want to get a giant and I was considering another paradise fish that is large and rare but a betta has caught my eye over the weekend.


----------



## torileeann11 (Dec 17, 2015)

jadaBlu said:


> I have had about that many but I've cut back on betta tanks and I got a Blood Parrot which is like having really big betta that is even more interactive but she is territorial when I clean the tank and will bite. I have to wear gloves. One community tank the fish were suppose to share the Blood parrots tank but I think she will eat them so I skipped that. I have a Paradise fish. I want to get a giant and I was considering another paradise fish that is large and rare but a betta has caught my eye over the weekend.


All of my tanks are less than 10gal with betta, except the 20gal brackish community in my room. I keep one GSP and some mollies in there


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

I'd like to get this fish but it's an unplanned purchase I guess I do have an empty 20 gallon he could hang out in for awhile. Lately, I've been able to look and leave and not really feel too pulled but this one is pulling me. That rarely happens anymore. We will see if he's gone yet.


----------



## RMKelly (Jan 17, 2016)

Tourmaline said:


> My relationship ended because of my Bettas, actually.. One specifically. My favorite was very sick for two days and me and my now ex had dinner planned, but I didn't want to leave my Betta to die without me being there, so I cancelled. He said I cared more about my fish than him, even though we could have easily just eaten on another day when my beloved fish wasn't dying. He gave me an ultimatum, either go to dinner or we're though.. So yeah. My Betta pulled through, luckily.


My brother-in-law broke up with his girlfriend of 8 years for pretty much the same reason. He had 20+ Bettas at the time which he bred and she'd complain that he was spending more time and money on his fish. $500+ a week on his fish. Unfortunately he no longer has the fish, once he moved out he couldn't take them with him. After about 2-3 months, he was about to get them but she had already sold them. He was very...um...I'm not sure if _angry_ is the right word? He'd already had an area set up to put them and everything! He also had a few rare colours that he had imported from Thailand.




SydneyA said:


> I'm nursing a "stabbed in the back" wound right now from a different friend. I too garden. Roses and herbs mostly. I'm too trusting of people so give me fish and my dogs (and the husband and kids too I guess ;-)) I also collect dolls. They don't say much at all, lol.


I get my gardening from my grandmother, she loved her roses. I tried growing herbs once but mine and my mother's cats LOVED them. Mostly my mint and rosemary lol My dog loved walking by my roses and just sniffing them when they were in flower, her favorite was my Blue Moon. Dolls creep me out, I think it's just because of too many horror stories involving dolls lol


----------



## Netti (Apr 25, 2014)

I don't have a problem with people not understanding my passions, but I do have a problem with cruelty and the unwillingness to open ones self to learning. Some people are wise beyond their years, and most of the others just take a little longer to get there.


----------



## Gariana (Jul 22, 2015)

Tourmaline said:


> It is very frustrating being judged or criticized based on what you enjoy doing. If it makes me happy and isn't hurting anyone or anything but my wallet, who are they to judge?


Exactly! And this is probably the reason why I don't have too many close friends - the older I get the less I tolerate other people dictating what I should or shouldn't do or like.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

I would not spend $500 a week on fish unless they were giving double that back each week in profit. However, I would expect someone to be understand that if I wanted to stay in because any one of my pets was sick or dying. 
Either way she had no right to sell his fish.


----------



## RMKelly (Jan 17, 2016)

jadaBlu said:


> I would not spend $500 a week on fish unless they were giving double that back each week in profit. However, I would expect someone to be understand that if I wanted to stay in because any one of my pets was sick or dying.
> Either way she had no right to sell his fish.



$500 was nothing to him with how much he was earning a week from work. He never actually told me how much he was making from them. But I even voiced my anger when he came home and told us that she sold his fish.


----------



## Dalloway (Apr 13, 2014)

torileeann11 said:


> Some people are horrid. It is always going to be that way, don't let them get any of you down. They haven't found themselves yet.


^This.

If I may add in my 2 cents; I once had a calculus professor tell me that I should put my dog down because he was old enough already (he was 13) when I went to a meeting with him during his office hours and told him I wouldn't be able to be there for his weekly required meeting sessions (self-teaching course, he was just there for show basically since we had tutors available if necessary but students had to meet him every week to "see how we were doing") for 2 weeks because I needed to give my dog medication and couldn't make the other times he was available due to work etc.. Two years later my pup is still kicking and I'm still yelling at him every day to stop running before he breaks his backbone. Needless to say I dropped that class within an hour since calc 2 was only available in the fall/spring terms so I could take calc 1 in the summer without affecting my schedule. Some people are just jerks that still need enlightenment.

People close to me know better than to say anything before they get a lengthy "Hey, listen here.." lecture but I've regularly been told by visitors and new acquaintances that I'm crazy for having just one fish in a 10 gallon. I think if you find something that makes you happy, it's not obsessive until it starts hurting you or the people around you (Do I really have the right to say this considering I'm here at 1:30 AM instead of finishing that take-home math test I'm putting off that's due in 7hrs XD? Ah insomnia, it gives rise to bad habits :/.) and you can't stop despite that. There is also a fine line between a healthy obsession and addiction. Some people don't understand that that's the difference between a hobby and hoarding.


----------



## Euro (Nov 13, 2015)

Tourmaline said:


> My relationship ended because of my Bettas, actually.. One specifically. My favorite was very sick for two days and me and my now ex had dinner planned, but I didn't want to leave my Betta to die without me being there, so I cancelled. He said I cared more about my fish than him, even though we could have easily just eaten on another day when my beloved fish wasn't dying. He gave me an ultimatum, either go to dinner or we're though.. So yeah. My Betta pulled through, luckily.


Good on you, you didn't need that type of negativity in your life anyway. Basically what I have to say about relationships, can also be put onto people giving someone a bad time for loving fish or gardening or doing any hobby they want to: You don't have time for that. You only live about 75 years on average, why waste time with things that aren't making you happy?

And lol, as far as breaking up with someone over a betta fish, I support that 100% and don't think its "petty" or something others might see it as, I mean I broke up with a dude once because he didn't like the twilight zone (and would basically make fun of me constantly because I loved it and Rod Serling's influence is a huge part of my life), so he was tossed out of my life.


----------



## Euro (Nov 13, 2015)

Basically my advice is tell friends to chill and tell them about not wasting time with things that don't make you happy.


----------



## Kaxen (Mar 3, 2013)

Euro said:


> Good on you, you didn't need that type of negativity in your life anyway. Basically what I have to say about relationships, can also be put onto people giving someone a bad time for loving fish or gardening or doing any hobby they want to: You don't have time for that. You only live about 75 years on average, why waste time with things that aren't making you happy?
> 
> And lol, as far as breaking up with someone over a betta fish, I support that 100% and don't think its "petty" or something others might see it as, I mean I broke up with a dude once because he didn't like the twilight zone (and would basically make fun of me constantly because I loved it and Rod Serling's influence is a huge part of my life), so he was tossed out of my life.


Yeah. it's not petty to cut someone out of your life over a hobby. I mean the main issue is disrespect. Why on earth hang out with someone who disrespects things near and dear to you?

I mean, if I like someone a lot, I'm often excited that they're excited even if their object of interest bores me. 

...I dumped off a lot of friends over the past year because it became obvious they didn't care for me at all and just wanted someone to bilk free drawings out of.


----------



## Vrisnem (Jan 25, 2016)

Euro said:


> And lol, as far as breaking up with someone over a betta fish, I support that 100% and don't think its "petty" or something others might see it as, I mean I broke up with a dude once because he didn't like the twilight zone (and would basically make fun of me constantly because I loved it and Rod Serling's influence is a huge part of my life), so he was tossed out of my life.


Agreed. It's not pet-related, but I had an ex who once asked me to choose between him and my fiction writing. He knew writing was my primary hobby and what I wanted to do for a living. I do not regret for a second picking my hobby over him. My current boyfriend is much more supportive anyhow - gives feedback on my work (even though I know it doesn't really interest him) and even today told me he was hanging up on a call because he knew I had a script to work on for class and tanks to clean. Even received a text shortly after saying, "Happy cleaning and writing."


----------



## ThisDragonisNerdy (Mar 28, 2015)

trahana said:


> But but... my fish are my life. xD
> 
> I've been told I need to get a life quite often, for obvious reasons. I love spending time with animals in general, they all make me happy. They don't tell me I need to get a life at least, or talk my ear off about things I have no interest in. I think I just spent an hour watching my fish today. Seeing happy fish is just so relaxing, I fell asleep soon after.
> 
> ...


I love this. :lol:
And completely agree. Animals/pets are the best. :-D


----------



## ThisDragonisNerdy (Mar 28, 2015)

Vrisnem said:


> Agreed. It's not pet-related, but I had an ex who once asked me to choose between him and my fiction writing. He knew writing was my primary hobby and what I wanted to do for a living. I do not regret for a second picking my hobby over him. My current boyfriend is much more supportive anyhow - gives feedback on my work (even though I know it doesn't really interest him) and even today told me he was hanging up on a call because he knew I had a script to work on for class and tanks to clean. Even received a text shortly after saying, "Happy cleaning and writing."


*Gasps* He made you chose between him and writing?? As a writer myself, I can only imagine...
Well, at least you ended up with the right guy, as a result..

On the whole matter... I can understand if someone doesn't get or is uninterested in fish keeping. It's fairly specialized interest. BUT, if they take it to the point where they criticize your choice to do it.. If something makes you happy, this person, if they care about you anyway, should rejoice! It takes plenty of people a lifetime to find what things make them happy! If it doesn't harm you or anyone else, why bother trying to steer them from what makes them smile? And making someone chose between you and what they love to do.. beyond selfish.

I think a lot of people would realize why we do what do for these fish, if they only opened their hearts to what we see. Not even getting into it themselves.. just seeing the wonderful souls we see.. Unfortunately, most people are extremely stubborn when it comes to seeing other's sides, to their own detriment, in the end. 

When it comes to it- You do you! Other's opinions should matter little if you're happy. True partners or friends should smile at your smile.


----------



## KumoBetta23 (Feb 27, 2016)

Sounds totally normal and fine to me. People shouldn't judge others based upon their hobbies. I am a homebody and prefer to be with animals over humans. I have 2 dogs and my betta which I love all so much. My entire life I've had all kinds of animals and I find solace in them. Especially since having battled depression after serving in the military, my animals have been a blessing. You shouldn't care what people say. Your life is yours and if fish make you happy, so be it  I also agree that people need to get a hobby of their own in order to understand hehe.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

We need to create a happy life for ourselves-however those ultimatums I am seeing had me google to find this:

http://elitedaily.com/dating/your-partner-isnt-the-one/1042323/


Definitely don't get married if you are not feeling that mutuality. Hear your gut feelings.


----------



## KumoBetta23 (Feb 27, 2016)

jadaBlu I totally agree with you on that post! I made the mistake of getting married at 19 while I was in the military. I was finally divorced by 23, but only lived with my spouse for a total of 1 year. The rest I was separated. I married him when we were going through our "puppy love" stage and I didn't get to know him that well (stupid mistake on my part). Needless to say, we eloped and it was a horrible marriage after a year. I had to leave for my own safety, we'll put it at that. So for anyone trying to rush marriage, here is my only piece of advice: DON'T DO IT! WAIT! Get to truly know them. Trust me.


----------



## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

They warned us about the "puppy love" thing when I was in advance training (AIT) in the military. Told us don't get married. I actually was considering it. We went and talked to a minister and all. I was raised that you take pre-marital classes to explore before getting married so I at least made a point to look into it. It didn't work out in the long run and fortunately we didn't get married. He wasn't a terrible guy though.
The military changes you. You get close to a whole bunch of people who are not your family but become like family. You live with them and see them nearly 24/7. For most it's there first time away from home. It's not surprising people get married quickly. One of my friends did get married and few people that were just friends even got married just to get extra money and privileges and planned on getting divorced later (absurd in my opinion). I was stationed in San Antonio Texas at Ft Sam Houston. So you are not alone to have fallen for someone. I am glad you got away from him. You are so right that there is no hurry. 

Decent people appreciate you for who you are and how you are. They don't demean you and try to take away your essence and the things that go with it. They don't rush or pressure you. If someone tries to woo you, wow you and rush you, and keep you away from what's important to you watch out!


----------



## Crash (Jul 19, 2015)

Tourmaline said:


> My relationship ended because of my Bettas, actually.. One specifically. My favorite was very sick for two days and me and my now ex had dinner planned, but I didn't want to leave my Betta to die without me being there, so I cancelled. He said I cared more about my fish than him, even though we could have easily just eaten on another day when my beloved fish wasn't dying. He gave me an ultimatum, either go to dinner or we're though.. So yeah. My Betta pulled through, luckily.
> 
> I keep getting told I have problems whenever I mention a really nice Betta I saw or I talk about mine. I mean, I have an empty 5g (exchanged a 3g I bought for it). It was on sale, I couldn't help it. If I get another fish, I'll have to deal with more heavy judgement from my friends and family. I'm considering getting a female my mother loved at PetSmart to get her to understand the hobby more.
> 
> It is very frustrating being judged or criticized based on what you enjoy doing. If it makes me happy and isn't hurting anyone or anything but my wallet, who are they to judge?


My boyfriend has gotten into the habit of calling me his "little mermaid" because I dote on my bettas so often...I mean, Finland actually ate his first pellet today after having him for a month! That's exciting!  

He doesn't really get it, but I'm glad he at least leaves me be for the most part. Not sure how he would react to me canceling a date though, he'd probably feel betrayed or overshadowed by my bettas, but that's really not fair. A betta to someone like us is the same as a cat or dog or any other beloved pet, a shame others don't feel the same way


----------

