# my mother in law's tank *sigh*



## cheylillymama (Apr 30, 2013)

My mother in law has a horridly depressing 20 gal hex aquarium. She has a shubunkin gold fish, a common goldfish, 4 cichlids (small, and blue. Idk whabarbs and cherry barbs t kind to he honest) and 3 cherry barbs in there. it makes me so sad overtime I go over there. And she refuses to listen to any info I give her. She's running a 10 gal filter, has never done a water change in the five years she's had this tank, she just dumps new water in when it gets low.
She's got 3 pieces of rotten bamboo floating that she keeps telling me are good for the fish and that the goldfish nibble them.
Ugh.
I offered to take the fish off her hands and rehome them, or donate the goldfish to the museum's pond. I even offered to help her set up and maintain an appropriate tank for the fish minus the goldies. She won't budge.

(((
Those fish are dying slow, tortuous deaths.


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## Romad (Jun 28, 2009)

Ugh! Sorry that you have to witness the sad fish lives in the tank of horrors. Why won't she take you up on your offer to at least help maintain the tank she has? Sounds like one stubborn woman you've got on your hands.

Cross your fingers that she won't set it up again when this batch of fish are gone.


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## cheylillymama (Apr 30, 2013)

She is just determined that i don't know what Im talking about. She thinks she knows more than everybody else about everything. My husband talked to his dad last week, and my father in law promised to take the goldies to the museum pond tomorrow. He doubts she will even notice and if she does he will tell her they died. 
He's trying to talk her into letting me set up the tank properly, hopefully she listens to him.


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## Romad (Jun 28, 2009)

Well that sounds a bit more hopeful. Good luck with that.


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## Corsica (Apr 1, 2013)

Frustrating! I hope she will let you help her or the fish can be rehomed properly.


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## Auburn Sakura (Apr 7, 2013)

How terrible, I hope she budges and lets you help! D:


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## cheylillymama (Apr 30, 2013)

Oh, I forgot to add, when the light burned out she didnt replace it. That was a year ago. She keeps the tank in a sunken living room. The fish are in darkness almost 24 hours a day. The common goldfish has turned white and I think he may be partially blind.


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## Auburn Sakura (Apr 7, 2013)

Aww, that's horrible! D8


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## cheylillymama (Apr 30, 2013)

I feel so awful for them.
My husband promised if his dad doesn't do something about it, that he will kidnap the fish so we can save them, lol, and will tell his mom the tank busted or something and just pray she doesn't get another one.


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## Auburn Sakura (Apr 7, 2013)

Lol, that would be nice, and I hope she doesn't.


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## colouratura (May 20, 2013)

Any updates on the fish situation? Hope you were successful in at least getting the goldies out.


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## cheylillymama (Apr 30, 2013)

Oh Im sorry, I forgot to update you guys!
my fil kidnapped the goldfish and brought them to me. They are living happily in the local museums indoor pond now! 

And she finally let me in there to clean the tank! Woot!
Chucked all the old nasty gravel and switched to a sand bottom. Remove all rotten bamboo,and two of the larger cichlids and rehomed them in my husbands 55 gal.
her remaining fish are in much better health and they have some live plants, light and me doing weekly water changes now.

She was finally talked into it after my father in law threatened to donate the whole tank. Lol.


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## lilnaugrim (Mar 27, 2013)

Hooray! Success!! Well that is certainly exciting! I'm so happy she was finally pressured into it lol, it's for the good of the fish ^^


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## sareena79 (Sep 10, 2012)

Glad u got to makes some much needed changes and those fish are doing better. I feel your pain. my buddy got a gorgeous dragonscale betta the same time I got my MG boy. We have identical 5g filtered tanks and they have been up and running about 6-7wks now. I have been doing all the needed water changes for a fish in cycle and so far my Chum-Chum is looking great but poor Tobey (my buddy's fish) is going downhill fast. I tried to tell him what needed to be done and even gave him the link to this page but hes stubborn as a mule and thinks having a filter means he doesnt have to clean the tank. The only time it was cleaned about about 3 wks ago when I did it myself. so that means it ran almost a month with no cleaning and has now been going 3wks since I did it. His poor tail is all shredded and showing signs of rot and he just looks so depressed. I feel terrible. If I go over there this week and he hasnt cleaned his tank Ima do it for him I guess.


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## cheylillymama (Apr 30, 2013)

Aww how awful!
I hope he wises up before poor tobey dies.


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## sareena79 (Sep 10, 2012)

yeah his wife said shes tried to tell him about it and he wouldnt listen so she gave up but did SHE do anything about it, HECK NO! her defense was "well I take care of the hamster, the fish was his idea so its his problem" Im like really dude yall are gonna be that petty and let an animal suffer b/c of sheer laziness....so looks like I will be doing water changes when I go over there


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## Auburn Sakura (Apr 7, 2013)

That's great chillylillymama!  And I'm sorry about the poor fish sereena 79, that's just awful. I hope he can survive and I hope the tank with be better kept up. D:


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## sareena79 (Sep 10, 2012)

so I think Im finally getting thru to my buddy about his tank. he came over and saw Chum the other night and knowing that out fish have the same tank and are the same age from the same breeder finally realized that my fish was thriving while his was dying. he agreed to do a 100% water change to get the current "funkies" out and maintain with weekly 50% changes after that and is considering a heater but hes stubborn so Ima keep on him about that. he had to see how much better my fish was to to realize he was neglecting his by only changing his water every 4-6wks (5g)


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## colouratura (May 20, 2013)

Yay! So glad to hear that. Must make you really happy to finally be getting somewhere with him on this issue.


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## Taeanna (Apr 2, 2013)

It reminds me of the time a friend of ours went on holiday and left his dog with us for three weeks. She had a mange problem and her claws here overgrown awfully making her limp. Plus she was so starved for attention she cried and barked constantly. The very next day after he left she was booked into the vet and then into our local dog groomer shortly after. he came back to a spotless, fluffy, energetic little sweetheart, he fur was even growing back!

We went to visit him a month later to discover she had a new kennel, new blankies, new diet...and got a daily dose of attention. I feel many people don't realize until they really see what a change a little love can make.


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## jadaBlu (Feb 14, 2013)

I love your quote by Truman Capote! If money is an issue and by the end of the summer he has not come with a heater PM me. I have an extra non-adjustable heater that would help keep the fishy warm during the winter. I have switched most of my tanks over to adjustables where the electrial system will allow so I have extra.


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## Tikibirds (May 26, 2011)

Offering to "help" with matience can backfire. My sister had 4 goldfish in a 10G - 3 died and she got another. I tols her I would buy her a 20G as it is better then a 10G AND I got her an aquaclear filter rated for a 70G tank. 

Does she change the water? NO. She says since I bough the tank, its my job to clean the tank :evil: yet she KNOWS how dirty the fish are


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## colouratura (May 20, 2013)

Tikibirds said:


> Offering to "help" with matience can backfire. My sister had 4 goldfish in a 10G - 3 died and she got another. I tols her I would buy her a 20G as it is better then a 10G AND I got her an aquaclear filter rated for a 70G tank.
> 
> Does she change the water? NO. She says since I bough the tank, its my job to clean the tank :evil: yet she KNOWS how dirty the fish are


That's crazy that she expects you to take care of the fish now. :shock:
She should have pride in her new tank you were kind enough to get for her and keep it nice with healthy fish. That's terrible for you and the fish.

On a brighter note Tikibirds, I LOVE your Dr. Whooves avatar. I have the same shirt as you.


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## sareena79 (Sep 10, 2012)

yeah Im glad hes finally taking some iniative with his fish. Ill make sure he gets a heater by winter...and jadaBlu thank u for the offer thats very kind. oh and the quote came from a movie they filmed here where I lived about truman capote (it had sandra bullock in it) it was called Infamous. it was a pretty good flick. I heard that quote and thought it would work well on this forum


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## Chevko (Nov 15, 2012)

Tikibirds said:


> Offering to "help" with matience can backfire. My sister had 4 goldfish in a 10G - 3 died and she got another. I tols her I would buy her a 20G as it is better then a 10G AND I got her an aquaclear filter rated for a 70G tank.
> 
> Does she change the water? NO. She says since I bough the tank, its my job to clean the tank :evil: yet she KNOWS how dirty the fish are


Pfff. I would have declared it mine and moved the tank into my room or house, depending on the exact thing. She says I bought the tank, my job to _clean_ the tank, then obviously it's _my_ fish.


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