# Feeling guilty...



## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

One of my dogs, Casey, we adopted last year from our local shelter. She had been terribly abused, neglected and starved. We have tried socializing her with other dogs, and people, but she just wants nothing to do with them. She lives here with my husband, myself, and our other rescue Cody, who she gets along with great. Today I had to take her to the vet for her rabies update, and it was just awful...growling at people, scared, and had to be muzzled for her shot. I feel like it's my fault, like I didn't try hard enough in the past year to get her used to other people and dogs. Her world basically consists of our fenced yard, and us. I'm glad that we got her out of the shelter alive, and that she has love, food, care, and a great friend in Cody...but I still feel like I've not done enough. I don't think she will ever be trusting of others. I just feel guilty that this "small" world we've given her is just not enough. SIGH


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## Made2party (Jul 20, 2012)

aww sorry


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

One of my rescued dogs was abused too. He came to us starved, teeth broken, and extremely nervous around males. We've had him for over 9 years now, and he's completely healthy and happy. However, he's always been known to escape and run away from home. Even though we rescued him and he's happy here, running away is just something from his past that we won't be able to change. We just keep him safe by making sure he's always on a leash when he's outside.
The lack of trust with people is probably just an affect of your dog's previous life, unfortunately, and may never go away. But what really counts is that he trusts and appreciates _you_ and his loving family. I don't think you've done anything wrong; I think you've done everything right by giving him a better life and earning his trust.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

jeremywadejunior said:


> One of my rescued dogs was abused too. He came to us starved, teeth broken, and extremely nervous around males. We've had him for over 9 years now, and he's completely healthy and happy. However, he's always been known to escape and run away from home. Even though we rescued him and he's happy here, running away is just something from his past that we won't be able to change. We just keep him safe by making sure he's always on a leash when he's outside.
> The lack of trust with people is probably just an affect of your dog's previous life, unfortunately, and may never go away. But what really counts is that he trusts and appreciates _you_ and his loving family. I don't think you've done anything wrong; I think you've done everything right by giving him a better life and earning his trust.


Thanks so much Jeremy..I guess I just feel if I had spent more time trying to socialize her etc. she would be better with people now, but both she and Cody are horrible on leash and pull me something awful. I have a neck injury from an accident, so I can't let that happen. We take both her and Cody to the beach with us sometimes, but it is a real pain between the pulling and the aggression when she sees another dog. She loves to swim in the ocean though...We just adopted another dog from the shelter, and he is doing great on leash training thank goodness. I just wish that hubby was home more, and more willing to help with their training...I feel like I've failed Casey and Cody. I can take Cody out alone, but not Casey. I only take them riding in the car with me to get them out. :-(


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

Bettanewbie60 said:


> Thanks so much Jeremy..I guess I just feel if I had spent more time trying to socialize her etc. she would be better with people now, but both she and Cody are horrible on leash and pull me something awful. I have a neck injury from an accident, so I can't let that happen. We take both her and Cody to the beach with us sometimes, but it is a real pain between the pulling and the aggression when she sees another dog. She loves to swim in the ocean though...We just adopted another dog from the shelter, and he is doing great on leash training thank goodness. I just wish that hubby was home more, and more willing to help with their training...I feel like I've failed Casey and Cody. I can take Cody out alone, but not Casey. I only take them riding in the car with me to get them out. :-(


Do you have a back yard that you can go play with the two in? I'm sure they'd enjoy running around with you!


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## Enkil (Jan 15, 2012)

Some dogs take more time and work to get to the point where they are even slightly comfortable in the world again. All I can say is: Don't give up on her. Keep trying. Be very repetative and offer LOTS of positive reinforcement.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

jeremywadejunior said:


> Do you have a back yard that you can go play with the two in? I'm sure they'd enjoy running around with you!


Yeah, we have a fenced back yard, and play there all the time..they love chasing bubbles, playing fetch, and Cody loves his swimming pool!


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Enkil said:


> Some dogs take more time and work to get to the point where they are even slightly comfortable in the world again. All I can say is: Don't give up on her. Keep trying. Be very repetative and offer LOTS of positive reinforcement.


Thanks...I won't ever give up on her...and all of my training is positive reinforcement...speaking of which, I hear one of them calling me..it's potty time! They are all kennel trained, and sleep in them. I best go let them out!


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

Bettanewbie60 said:


> Yeah, we have a fenced back yard, and play there all the time..they love chasing bubbles, playing fetch, and Cody loves his swimming pool!


Oh good! I'm glad they can play out there even if they don't always get to go out! (I'm sure they are too!) 

Does Casey interact with anyone besides you and your husband? Maybe if you had a friend come over and play with her it could help with her trust issue. Just little steps, one at a time...


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

jeremywadejunior said:


> Oh good! I'm glad they can play out there even if they don't always get to go out! (I'm sure they are too!)
> 
> Does Casey interact with anyone besides you and your husband? Maybe if you had a friend come over and play with her it could help with her trust issue. Just little steps, one at a time...


We seldom have company...and when we do it's a slow process with Casey. I usually bring her in after Cody has greeted everyone, and then allow her to warm up to whoever is here...then she goes off leash. She is usually fine with them after about five minutes, and realizes that they are "safe" people.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

These are my three dogs...Cody is the little black guy, Casey is the yellow terrier, and Leo is the huge one we just rescued last Friday! He has made it into the "pack", the first day of course was the toughest, especially for Casey, but she is okay with him now. All three are still adjusting of course, who's bed, who's toys, who's time for attention from "super alpha" (me), but I am really pleased with the progress we have all made in such a short amount of time!


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

Bettanewbie60 said:


> We seldom have company...and when we do it's a slow process with Casey. I usually bring her in after Cody has greeted everyone, and then allow her to warm up to whoever is here...then she goes off leash. She is usually fine with them after about five minutes, and realizes that they are "safe" people.


That's good! I think it would be very beneficial for her to get to know more "safe" people.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

jeremywadejunior said:


> That's good! I think it would be very beneficial for her to get to know more "safe" people.


Me too...I hate to sound pathetic, but hubby and I don't have a lot of friends really, so it's hard. I did the dog park once with her, and it wasn't too bad, but she tended to stay to herself mostly while Cody played with the other dogs. I hate the dog park though..worry about too much exposure to diseases etc. If I could just get her better leashed trained it would help. I could take her out alone with me, but I can't do it alone, and can't afford a trainer. I sometimes take Cody out and leave Casey home, and it makes me feel horrible, but Cody is well socialized and I can handle one dog well, Cody doesn't pull as much when Casey is not there either. I have felt badly lately just taking Leo out walking in the evenings too, but I am determined for him to do well on the leash, so I have no choice. He is doing really well, very food driven and attentive. Both Cody and Casey have trouble focusing on me when I try to improve their leash obedience, so they get walked less, which in turn makes it worse...sigh. yeah, vicious cycle.


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## Ghost Handler (Jul 17, 2012)

Bettanewbie, Don't feel guilty, you've done a good thing to give him a loving home. We have a Chessie/Lab mix who has always had trouble meeting new people. Fortunately he has fewer issues with dogs. We were in the same situation and found that we avoided inviting people over because we didn't know how he would react. (Probably the wrong approach.) He was usually pretty good with people who showed absolutly no fear, but the least bit of heasitation could bring out the worst. So I sympathize completely, and commend your for rescuing your guy from a much worse fate.

If Casey is like our Chester he's the sweetest cuddliest thing one could imagine with the people he trusts. Just know that you've done a very good thing, even if Casey never completely socializes with people.


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

Bettanewbie60 said:


> Me too...I hate to sound pathetic, but hubby and I don't have a lot of friends really, so it's hard. I did the dog park once with her, and it wasn't too bad, but she tended to stay to herself mostly while Cody played with the other dogs. I hate the dog park though..worry about too much exposure to diseases etc. If I could just get her better leashed trained it would help. I could take her out alone with me, but I can't do it alone, and can't afford a trainer. I sometimes take Cody out and leave Casey home, and it makes me feel horrible, but Cody is well socialized and I can handle one dog well, Cody doesn't pull as much when Casey is not there either. I have felt badly lately just taking Leo out walking in the evenings too, but I am determined for him to do well on the leash, so I have no choice. He is doing really well, very food driven and attentive. Both Cody and Casey have trouble focusing on me when I try to improve their leash obedience, so they get walked less, which in turn makes it worse...sigh. yeah, vicious cycle.


Your pups look great!

I have two Siberian Huskies who _love_ to pull while they're being walked. It used to be awful. However, we got them these choke collars (I know it sounds mean, but they got used to them quickly and I promise it's not as bad as it sounds!!) that helped with walking dramatically. Now I am able to walk both at the same time, with the occasional reminder of "no pulling" and a little tug at the leash. We both enjoy walk time since.

This is the collar type we use with them: http://www.petco.com/product/111525/Petco-Training-Chain-Prong-Collar-for-Dogs.aspx


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Ghost Handler said:


> Bettanewbie, Don't feel guilty, you've done a good thing to give him a loving home. We have a Chessie/Lab mix who has always had trouble meeting new people. Fortunately he has fewer issues with dogs. We were in the same situation and found that we avoided inviting people over because we didn't know how he would react. (Probably the wrong approach.) He was usually pretty good with people who showed absolutly no fear, but the least bit of heasitation could bring out the worst. So I sympathize completely, and commend your for rescuing your guy from a much worse fate.
> 
> If Casey is like our Chester he's the sweetest cuddliest thing one could imagine with the people he trusts. Just know that you've done a very good thing, even if Casey never completely socializes with people.


Thanks Ghost...She is really a sweet and loving dog. She is just so fearful, and I can't say as I blame her. Yeah, she reacts the same way if someone acts afraid of her. I usually give them treats and tell them to greet Cody first, and use the high, happy voice, and call them by name, then give them each a treat. Casey definitely does better with confident people...I love her. I know too that with her "problems" a lot of others might have returned her to the shelter, and she wouldn't even have a life now. I just always think I could do more, for her.


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

Ghost Handler said:


> Bettanewbie, Don't feel guilty, you've done a good thing to give him a loving home. We have a Chessie/Lab mix who has always had trouble meeting new people. Fortunately he has fewer issues with dogs. We were in the same situation and found that we avoided inviting people over because we didn't know how he would react. (Probably the wrong approach.) He was usually pretty good with people who showed absolutly no fear, but the least bit of heasitation could bring out the worst. So I sympathize completely, and commend your for rescuing your guy from a much worse fate.
> 
> If Casey is like our Chester he's the sweetest cuddliest thing one could imagine with the people he trusts. Just know that you've done a very good thing, even if Casey never completely socializes with people.


+1


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

jeremywadejunior said:


> Your pups look great!
> 
> I have two Siberian Huskies who _love_ to pull while they're being walked. It used to be awful. However, we got them these choke collars (I know it sounds mean, but they got used to them quickly and I promise it's not as bad as it sounds!!) that helped with walking dramatically. Now I am able to walk both at the same time, with the occasional reminder of "no pulling" and a little tug at the leash. We both enjoy walk time since.
> 
> This is the collar type we use with them: http://www.petco.com/product/111525/Petco-Training-Chain-Prong-Collar-for-Dogs.aspx


I used one of those collars on Cody just ONCE and he yelped so loud when he pulled...never again. I'm glad they work for you, but I don't even use regular collars for walking my dogs..only harnesses. I don't like anything that pulls on their throat, and with the terriers there is little between the collar and skin. It's just my way.


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## Ghost Handler (Jul 17, 2012)

Bettanewbie60 said:


> I used one of those collars on Cody just ONCE and he yelped so loud when he pulled...never again. I'm glad they work for you, but I don't even use regular collars for walking my dogs..only harnesses. I don't like anything that pulls on their throat, and with the terriers there is little between the collar and skin. It's just my way.


Have you tried a "Gentle Leader"? it goes over the nose and fits high on the neck. Worked wonders for our two big guy, one 80+lbs and one almost 90 lbs. We eventually stopped using them because we didn't need them, but they were great when we were first leash training.


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## jeremywadejunior (Jul 11, 2012)

Bettanewbie60 said:


> I used one of those collars on Cody just ONCE and he yelped so loud when he pulled...never again. I'm glad they work for you, but I don't even use regular collars for walking my dogs..only harnesses. I don't like anything that pulls on their throat, and with the terriers there is little between the collar and skin. It's just my way.


That makes sense. Huskies have really thick fur so they don't feel it as much as a dog with shorter fur would.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Ghost Handler said:


> Have you tried a "Gentle Leader"? it goes over the nose and fits high on the neck. Worked wonders for our two big guy, one 80+lbs and one almost 90 lbs. We eventually stopped using them because we didn't need them, but they were great when we were first leash training.


I have seen those! I will have to try one as soon as I can afford to pick one up! Hubby just started working again, so we have some catching up to do on bills. Thanks for the tip...If that doesn't work..I think I'll just buy a sled with wheels and let Cody and Casey take me for a ride lol.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

jeremywadejunior said:


> That makes sense. Huskies have really thick fur so they don't feel it as much as a dog with shorter fur would.


Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like I said, I only use a harness for walking my dogs. They only wear collars for their tags.


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## Ghost Handler (Jul 17, 2012)

The sled's a great idea. I've thought about it more than once. I'm amazed at how expensive pet supplies are. You wouldn't think that a bit of nylon straping and a few metal rings would cost so much. However, if it works, and it did for us, it saves a whole lot of headache, which I suppose makes the investment worth it.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Ghost Handler said:


> The sled's a great idea. I've thought about it more than once. I'm amazed at how expensive pet supplies are. You wouldn't think that a bit of nylon straping and a few metal rings would cost so much. However, if it works, and it did for us, it saves a whole lot of headache, which I suppose makes the investment worth it.


Absolutely! I can't wait till we are "back on our feet" around here.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Thank you all so much for the support and advice! Hugs for making me feel a bit better!


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## starrlamia (May 3, 2012)

these are some great videos about loose leash walking:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueE1S1k74Ao&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFgtqgiAKoQ&feature=player_embedded

this may help with the fearfulness
http://www.apsofdurham.org/dogs/Calming%20Fearful%20Dogs.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/Cautious-Cani...id=1344619157&sr=8-1&keywords=cautious+canine
http://www.amazon.com/Help-Your-Fea...172&sr=1-1&keywords=help+for+your+fearful+dog

My little dog has fear issues, so we work a lot on desensitization protocols and it has helped immensley.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

starrlamia said:


> these are some great videos about loose leash walking:
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueE1S1k74Ao&feature=player_embedded
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFgtqgiAKoQ&feature=player_embedded
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for your help!


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## starrlamia (May 3, 2012)

Any time! 
I know what it's like living with a fearful dog, it can be heartbreaking but it can get better, just takes time and patience


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

starrlamia said:


> Any time!
> I know what it's like living with a fearful dog, it can be heartbreaking but it can get better, just takes time and patience


We just added a third rescue last Friday, and Casey is doing great with him! She had issues the first day of course, but now they play the most together. My other rescue Cody, who is Alpha male, hasn't accepted Leo as easily. He is not aggressive toward him, just more like, "Really, did we need him"?? lol


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