# My friend Coraline



## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

With a lump in my throat and guilt in my heart i hate to say goodbye to you. Im so sorry i had to put you out of the misery you were in, i wished you would have a peaceful death, i really wished for it, but it wouldn't come and i saw you were unhappy, the glimmer of hope i had was selfish so i ended your suffering. Ive never done that before and i never want to do it again. But id like to remember you in a nicer light then i currently do so im going to tell you what i loved.
I loved how you would keep me company, i have social anxiety and had no hobbies, i was bored and lonely and you and my other betta kept me entertained. I loved watching you dart all over your new found space. So shy and curious like a little girl. Well you were a little girl! Your life ended far too soon, i was working on getting you a 5 gallon though i never minded the daily water changes, i actually enjoyed them. You would swim into the cup, ready for the water to be changed. Instead of pictures of myself i posted pictures of my fish on facebook, i thought you were beautiful! When people called id end up talking about my fish often. I dreamed of you last night, i wanted you to get better, today you were so cheerful, but then you lost control of yourself. I couldn't let you keep suffering like that while i slept peacefully in bed. That wouldn't be fair for you. I feel a hole in my heart, i feel sick, and it hurts, just like if you were a person. I wish i could have shown you a great life, i would have, believe me. One of my favorite things you did was eat food off my finger. When someone would visit i would show them your little trick. It was adorable how youd wag your little tail just before jumping and nipping at my finger. Who knew fish had such personalities! Now your tank is empty. Its lonelyer then before. Im really so so sorry for how this all turned out, it wasnt anyones fault, maybe the breeders for breeding a bad pair, or maybe petsmarts for not taking proper care of you. But once here i did my best. I cant believe your gone. I wish this was a dream and i hadnt have had to do what i did. I feel a wave of regret that i have to fight off. But im so sorry and i hope you didnt suffer too much in my care and i hope the end was fast, and i hope your in a happier place but ill never forget you. NEVER. I miss you already  I wish so badly this hadnt happened. Im sorry Coraline, your time was too short. Your irreplacable. Be well wherever you are. <3
RIP Coraline 2:10am








I will take your broken little body and plant it tomorrow with some Pretty flower seeds. I have a feeling they will be the prettiest flowers ive ever grown.


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## Here Fishy Fishy Fishy (Oct 29, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful little betta girl, and you are a wonderful betta parent. You did everything you could for her.


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## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

Thanks. Thank you also for your help in trying to figure out what was going on for the past few days. Its a little more quiet this morning without her though she never made a sound. Too many habits to change.


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## Here Fishy Fishy Fishy (Oct 29, 2010)

You're welcome. I do wish the outcome had been different...

Each life is a gift... something rare and irreplacable. Not everyone sees this.
You did.


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## vaygirl (Sep 10, 2009)

I read your thread last night and woke up this morning to check first thing. I'm so sorry. I had to do this once too and it's a very hard thing to do. It's the most selfless act for your friend. You did it for her. And you did the right thing. RIP Coraline. <3


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## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

Thank you both. I will be burying her today and cleaning out her tank and putting it away. She is irreplacable. My special little girl


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## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

Shes buried now, The Zinnia flowers seemed pretty enough to almost match her so i planted some of those seeds with her.








Pretty flowers for a pretty girl!


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## vaygirl (Sep 10, 2009)

So pretty!


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## Sakura8 (May 12, 2011)

You took such good care of her and loved her so much. And I firmly believe Coraline knew how much you loved her and how much you cared. If you had been indifferent to her, then she would not have shown you so much of her personality. And through you, a whole community around the world has come to know and mourn Coraline, making her a very special girl indeed. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs from me and big fishy kisses from my bettas.


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## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

Thanks. Yeah she had a rough few days there before the end but with the help of this place she was able to be a bit more comfortable and rest and at least try to battle her problems the best she could. Right before i stopped her pain i kindof held her cup against my chest and looked down at her for a minute. My way of saying goodbye i guess, and she swam to the corner of the cup that was against me and looked up. Tried to swim to the surface, failing at it but trying nonetheless. It was like a fishy hug in a way  It didnt make things easier but it was nice to have that little moment beforehand, i see it clearly in my mind. Today the java moss i ordered online for her came in, it was 5 days late but arrived alive and well, it felt a bit sad to not be able to give it to her to play in, But im sure my male will appreciate 2 live plants in his tank instead of a live and plastic and maybe in the future, though shes irreplacable, another little girl will give me that look again and i can give her a good life, and by then hopefully my java moss has grown even more to play in. But that java moss is coralines lol, its as if she laid claim on it in my mind. She would have swam laps all through it, such a playful girl.  I miss her today, i contimplated hiding her tank so i wouldnt keep looking for her out of habit but id rather see it there and imagine what shed be doing then have an empty spot. Seems i can just go on and on about this, writing paragraphs each time someone reaches out and comforts me. 
My male Fishy suddenly decided he loves his pellets today, he was being picky and only wanted larvae but i threw the bucket out and started over and i was a bit worried since he hadnt eaten in a couple of days. I guess its possible that hes trying to ease me as well. Hes been showing off all day, being alot less lazy then usual. Little Coraline would eat anything though, long as i had it on my finger. Once she bit and hung from my finger for a second ) That was so funny, and afterwards she hid as if embarrassed that she got so carried away XD I made alot of memories in a short time.


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## Sakura8 (May 12, 2011)

Write as many paragraphs and share as many memories as you need to. We love reading them.


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## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

lol well thank you  Tonight is lonely, the days are filled with my toddler and cooking and cleaning and the occasional glance over to her empty tank, but the night is quiet and her tank is within view of where i sit at the computer. The plant she had was a purplish color, at a quick glance i thought it was her tail, that was a moment that got me down.
Otherwise im dealing, my family has asked, well they all knew how proud of her i was, but when things got bad my mom backed out, not wanting to know if she died, so she still doesnt. My sister upset me a bit, she knows nothing of fish but she still manages to be pushy, saying epsom salt would dry her out and suffocate her and that is why she was so sick.. So i was left defending myself and explaining over and over. When she asked how she was this morning i just told her that i ended the misery and she wanted details then completely stopped talking to me, as if disgusted. At least i have the support here with what i did. I know im not heartless like my sister seemed to think, its just not the best time to act like that regardless.


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## Sakura8 (May 12, 2011)

It's strange but when it comes to pets, sometimes the most insensitive people are our family members. When I lost my cat to a sudden stroke, I was devastated. She had been my constant companion while I went through a long bout with anxiety and depression and not having her by my side was excruciating. And the next day, my dad asked me, "So, are you still down about Nani?" I could have smacked him! So it's sad your sister is being extra pushy about something she doesn't know a thing about. You shouldn't have to defend your actions to anyone, especially family. But even if your family members don't understand, rest assured all the people on the forum know you did your very best and most importantly, Coraline knew.

When you wrote about how she looked up at you in her little cup I got so teary-eyed. Until I started keeping bettas, I never knew fish could have so much personality and seem so intelligent. People who don't know fish just see them swimming around all day doing nothing, but we know better. 

I know I speak (er, write) for everyone when I say you can feel free to post here or PM any time you need to talk about Coraline. Thanks to you, so many people got to know the fighting spirit and personality of a beautiful fish.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Sakura8 said:


> It's strange but when it comes to pets, sometimes the most insensitive people are our family members. When I lost my cat to a sudden stroke, I was devastated. She had been my constant companion while I went through a long bout with anxiety and depression and not having her by my side was excruciating. And the next day, my dad asked me, "So, are you still down about Nani?" I could have smacked him! So it's sad your sister is being extra pushy about something she doesn't know a thing about. You shouldn't have to defend your actions to anyone, especially family. But even if your family members don't understand, rest assured all the people on the forum know you did your very best and most importantly, Coraline knew.
> 
> When you wrote about how she looked up at you in her little cup I got so teary-eyed. Until I started keeping bettas, I never knew fish could have so much personality and seem so intelligent. People who don't know fish just see them swimming around all day doing nothing, but we know better.
> 
> I know I speak (er, write) for everyone when I say you can feel free to post here or PM any time you need to talk about Coraline. Thanks to you, so many people got to know the fighting spirit and personality of a beautiful fish.


Well said. We understand and we're here to support you. I'm so sorry about Coraline. She was very special and lucky to have such a wonderful home.


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## Punki (Apr 30, 2011)

Thank you. Her little plants she was buried in are starting to sprout so i think of her everyday when i go water her plants. She was a fun little girl, very happy until she got sick. Im glad she could get that much at least


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm sure she would appreciate the beautiful flowers you planted in her memory.


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