# How to convince your parents for another Betta?



## sweetbettafish (Sep 7, 2014)

Hello everyone, so recently I got another Betta fish since my previous buddy passed away. Currently I have one betta fish, two gerbils, and a hamster. They are all well-cared for. Anyhow, I have been thinking it would be nice to get a little female at some point this year. But unfortunately my parents are strong on the "no more pets" rule. Do you have any ideas on how to possibly convince them otherwise? Thank you!


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## Bettacrab (Jun 30, 2013)

Find out why, and work from there.


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## sweetbettafish (Sep 7, 2014)

They say that I have enough pets. And that is normally where the discussion ends.


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## VivianKJean (Aug 20, 2013)

It can be difficult to convince parents that you want more fish/pets in general. 

Maybe start with telling them why you want one. Often just saying that you "just want one" or "it would be nice" is not enough for them.

Then maybe start with trying to save up money to buy your own tank and equipment. I know earning money is tough when you are young but maybe start by asking neighbors to do little things for them like take out the trash for a couple of dollars (tell them you are saving for a fish) and ask your parents the same thing.


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## Bettacrab (Jun 30, 2013)

Try and figure out exactly why.

Is it the price? Offer to pay for it yourself

Is it no space? Offer to clean up house and get rid of some stuff to make spade

Is there no time? Explain to your parents that one more tank isn't that much work.


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## Bettacrab (Jun 30, 2013)

My parents said no because we dint have room for more tanks and we don't have enought time


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## Ilovebettasbk11 (Nov 12, 2013)

One rule i know is be nice do chores offer help 

I agree on earning your own money too

For me one betta is enough lol plus all otther pets you got


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## Charc14 (Aug 27, 2014)

The only way I could get another betta would be to pay for it my self. 
Try to make your own money. Ad also maybe you can do extra chores and stuff. 
My parents are pretty strict about that rule too. Sadly. lol. But if they weren't then I would probably own half the animals in the world  lol


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## Pippin (Apr 11, 2014)

Do they know how to properly care for bettas? If not, tell them that your male betta would like a 'girlfriend', only she would have to be in a separate tank to make her happier, and that he would would love it if he could have a 'girlfriend'


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## hrutan (Jun 25, 2014)

I've found lying to be a very, VERY dangerous activity, and the consequences for getting caught are not good. It's not hard to find out that a betta wanting companionship is simply not true...and if they believe too hard, the "girlfriend" ends up in the tank, and you have 1 or 2 dead bettas.

From an adult's perspective - there's usually a reason. Not always a good reason from the dependent's point of view, but they are not the only person in the equation whose feelings matter. It could come down to something as subtle as emotional labor, or as straightforward as not liking fish and being tired of hearing about it.

My advice: Save up your own money. Show responsibility and restraint. Take excellent care of the betta that you have, and make a careful plan about how you would house an additional fish. Never, _ever _complain about something not being fair, because that is a child's argument, and will get you nowhere. Understand that, in fact, it _is _fair to be permitted no more pets in a dwelling that you do not own and have not earned. Parents are very aware that any animal that is taken in to their house is ultimately their responsibility if their child falters, falls sick, or moves.

The best way to battle this attitude is by being excellent at your job. Get good grades. Complete your homework on time, and do not delay your homework for your water changes - allocate your time appropriately for each task. Care for your fish, and make sure that if you're running low on a supply, you don't spring this on your parents - who must take you to get those supplies - at the last minute. So pay attention to how much water conditioner you have, and make sure there's a couple weeks' cushion. When you're told to take out the trash or perform some other chore, DO IT.

You get your parents to help you out by helping them out, by performing past expectations, and by being a model student. Not begging. Not "Make nice the month of December so they buy me lots of presents" behavior, but for as long as you live with them.

That has the nice side effect of making the rest of your life easier, to boot.


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## sweetbettafish (Sep 7, 2014)

Thank you all so much for your suggestions! Thankfully even though I do not get allowance, I have a few babysitting jobs. So that helps. I actually already have a tank that would work. After paying off my current tank (parents helped me) hopefully I can start saving up for a few supplies. My mom actually knows a little something about Betta fish, I have taught her the right way! She really likes them, but both my parents say I already have enough pets. That and the fact that I do not pay for the food and bedding. Only the extra stuff (toys, extra bedding, carriers)


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## BettaStarter24 (Mar 24, 2014)

The only reason I've ended up with 3 fish is because I paid for everything myself. I did get the "isn't one enough?" speech from my mom and Somedays I question my sanity in having 3 tanks in a college dorm smaller than a bathroom but I paid for everything (minus Jasper, mom bought him but I already had the supplies.) with my own money.


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## Tree (Sep 29, 2013)

hrutan said:


> I've found lying to be a very, VERY dangerous activity, and the consequences for getting caught are not good. It's not hard to find out that a betta wanting companionship is simply not true...and if they believe too hard, the "girlfriend" ends up in the tank, and you have 1 or 2 dead bettas.
> 
> From an adult's perspective - there's usually a reason. Not always a good reason from the dependent's point of view, but they are not the only person in the equation whose feelings matter. It could come down to something as subtle as emotional labor, or as straightforward as not liking fish and being tired of hearing about it.
> 
> ...



Well said! 

I used to hide Ferrets from my parents. My sister Tammy had two at the time and I snuck in two more and one got out and my dad thought it was Tammy's ferret (same white color) so I got a scolding when he found out it was a new pet. But they did let me keep the ferrets since they were free with the cage and food and all of the fixings. 
I never snuck in an animal after that. But now, I am older and I have a job and my own house and buy my own animals. Now I have two dogs, four cats, a snake, and five fish. XD A lot of responsibility and work to take care of all of them too. And the COST of the vet bills MY GOD! But that is what I get for wanting all of these pets. You have to have the money if something goes wrong.


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## averyecho (May 2, 2014)

Here's a method of mine that works pretty well for a lot of things. It might not work for you, but feel free to try anyway.

-First, identify the parent that is most likely to let you buy what you want. 
-Once you have done that, do chores for money until you have saved up enough to buy the things you want. (Make sure you get the money in cash!) 
-Then ask the parent "I worked to earn this money, I can buy whatever I want with it, right?" If the answer is no, try and convince them to change it to yes. (This may take a while. Be careful not to annoy them too much.) 
-Then, make sure you have a good argument for when they tell you "you can't possibly take care of this" or "you have no room for this." 
-Finally, get the parent to take you to the store. Buy the thing you wanted with the cash you earned. 
-Done.


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## VivianKJean (Aug 20, 2013)

From personal experience, Playing one parent against the other is not good at all. 

The proper thing to do is to sit both parents down (if you have two parents/guardians) and ask them if you can get another pet. Say that you have saved up the money yourself. Also have a plan for how your will take care of the pet. Have a proposed water change schedule, etc. Also have a plan for where EXACTLY you will put the tank and if you have to move items around explain exactly where you would put them. 

If they say no, then ask specifically why. Your parents may have a good reason why they do not want you to get another pet. Example, another heater and filter will up the electric bill and for families on a budget this can be very difficult. Your parents may feel that you already have a enough pets (which you do have a good amount of pets). Or another reason. Also your parents are going to think a head, meaning if your fish gets sick they will most likely be the ones covering the cost of meds and whatever else your fish needs. This may not be possible for some families. I know that personally I do not have the money to drop even $10 for meds on a whim. Your parents will also take responsibility for this fish since you are their child and most parents know that when the family gets a pet that in the end the responsibly really lies with the parent, not the child. 

However, but having a plan and asking for them to sit down so you can talk to them shows responsibility.


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## hrutan (Jun 25, 2014)

+1 VivianKJean

I think responsibility is the big keyword here. No parent is going to trust their offspring, whether child or teen, to be responsible for one thing (pets) if they have not shown responsibility in other areas of their life (homework, chores). And I think _every _parent's heard the line "I'll feed it, and walk it, and clean up its poop!" from their child...or used it on their own parents and realized as an adult the amount of work their parents _really _did, taking care of their childhood pets.

There's always a lot of fallout for the parents, no matter how hard we try. It never really became clear to me until I moved out and had to pay for my own toilet paper.


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## VivianKJean (Aug 20, 2013)

hrutan said:


> There's always a lot of fallout for the parents, no matter how hard we try. It never really became clear to me until I moved out and had to pay for my own toilet paper.


hahaha agreed. I only had two fish when I lived in my parents house and I ALWAYS wanted another. Even though at the time I was doing all of the care of the pets, I never realized how much money goes into keeping fish until I moved out and got my own apartment. 

This is why ANY time i have extra money, I spend it one stuff my fish MAY need - like medicine, extra frozen food, Prime conditioner, etc. I do this because I know that if I need that item right away, I won't be able to pay for it right away. This way I am always prepared.


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## BettaBeau (May 14, 2014)

How much time do you spend with your gerbils and hamster? Do you clean their cages? Do you play with them daily? I wouldn't have time to spend quality time with all of your pets and still do the other things someone your age should be doing, homework and chores and interacting with friends and family.

When I was your age I had our family dog and two hamsters, and I kept asking my parents for a kitten. They said I had enough pets. They were right, I was barely spending enough time with the pets I already had, I wouldn't play with the hamsters much or pay much attention to the dog. I finally realized that I had neglected the pets I already had, and started interacting with them a whole lot more. I'm not saying that this is like you, but it might be...


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## sweetbettafish (Sep 7, 2014)

Well I do feed and pay attention to them at least twice a day. Although I should probably take them out of the cage to play more. Yes, I clean the cages by myself on a very normal basis (parents think I do it too often)


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## BigRed888 (Sep 18, 2014)

Well, my mama was the same way. I have like 10 personal animals, and the family has more. To convince her to get me another betta, I showed her my other one. She knows they are solitary, and I told her that just one more wouldn't be that bad. 

I told her Iwould pay her for the betta, tank, and all that. She continued to say no, and I got (kinda) depressed about it. So, she finally gave in. I paid her, and now I have another betta! 

I have found deceit is a baaaad thing, so don't lie about it! Just ask again, and say you will take on another household chore, like cleaning bathrooms or mopping!


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## cowboy (Apr 14, 2013)

I agree with everyone but make sure you really truly want another fish. I kept saying oh look at that one? What's one more? Now I have 4 and I'm saying what the heck was I thinking? I truly only want one. They are beautiful fish and I wouldn't trade mine in but sometimes you gotta stop and take stock. For me my comfortable limit is one or two.


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## VivianKJean (Aug 20, 2013)

+1 to the above.

I currently have 3 bettas and while I could have another tank, I don't know if i'll be able to handle the work. I even would be more comfortable with 2. While bettas are beautiful and you always seem to fall in love with another one, the more you have means the more attention they need and the easier it is for you to neglect one and have that one get sick.

you have your whole life to have more fish. When I still lived with my parents, I wanted more than just one. However, I am glad I waited until I had my own place and own source of income. I believe my fish are happier this way too. I don't have to ask my parents anymore before buying more fish or fish equipment, I just save up the money and buy it. Obviously, this means you have to be mature enough to know what number of fish you can actually properly take care of. 

it is better to have one fish that gets excellent care then 2 fish that get okay care.


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## Aqua Aurora (Oct 4, 2013)

cowboy said:


> I agree with everyone but make sure you really truly want another fish. I kept saying oh look at that one? What's one more? Now I have 4 and I'm saying what the heck was I thinking? I truly only want one. They are beautiful fish and I wouldn't trade mine in but sometimes you gotta stop and take stock. For me my comfortable limit is one or two.


+1 this, don't get too many pets, you'll have plenty of time in your life to get others later. 
I got a bad case of MTS (multi tank syndrom) and went from 2 tanks to 6 (these are not just betta tanks.. well 3 of them are ^^'' but the others are larger) + a quarantine tank and a plant dumping tank. I have no free time right now to really just relax, as I'm rearraging tanks and redoing layouts/moving fish around. Its feeling like more of a chore than a hobby (or enjoyable pet care) at times, and you never want to get to that point.
If you are hell bent on "just one more fish" do as stated by others, don't complain, show you can be responsible (for both pet care and school work) and save up $ doing chores for others to help fund the new tank/equipment/decor/fish. Good luck!


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## Ilovebettasbk11 (Nov 12, 2013)

Thats what i am thinking as well i have 3 now 2 mine and 1 is my moms fish that she wont take care of so now mine i work i come home i cant handle changing six fishes water ugh. Think of this, why you want another betta for? Will you still care the others as well?


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## MikeG14 (May 31, 2014)

Contact your attorney and look into emancipation from your parents. I did it when I was 14 and joined the French Foreign Legion.


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## VivianKJean (Aug 20, 2013)

MikeG14 said:


> Contact your attorney and look into emancipation from your parents. I did it when I was 14 and joined the French Foreign Legion.


I honestly think that this is not a good idea at all. Coming from a 21 year old, parents are EXTREMELY useful. I did not like them at all when I was younger but now they have helped me so much.


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## cowboy (Apr 14, 2013)

MikeG14 said:


> Contact your attorney and look into emancipation from your parents. I did it when I was 14 and joined the French Foreign Legion.




Bad, bad, bad. Some cases yes but it should be for extreme cases. I hope you were kidding. 

Can you imagine if parents did that more? I would have been toast growing up lol


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## hrutan (Jun 25, 2014)

I'm pretty sure they were joking.


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## sweetbettafish (Sep 7, 2014)

Yeah hopefully they were kidding. I would have a hard time without my parents.


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