# How do I politely tell my boss she isn’t properly caring for her betta?



## RedFynn21 (Jan 5, 2012)

I've been contemplating this scenario for the past few weeks, and realized I could really benefit from some friendly advice from fellow betta lovers on here.:-D

Here's the deal:

My boss recently aquired a beautiful male super-delta several week ago. He currently resides on her office desk. He was given to her as a gift--so I assume she is a betta newbie? He is currently housed in a Marina half gallon "zen cube" with no heater, and very, very few water changes. Space is an issue for my boss--as he is on an office desk. I'm guessing she couldn't get any larger than a 3 gallon tank? I feel bad about poor Sebastian. My boss loves him to death--she really does--but doesn't seem aware of proper betta care requirements. (My job is in no way affiliated with pet care. I work at Kohl's clothing store, by the way, lol). What I want to know is: how can I politely, respectfully and tactfully bring up the subject with her about possibly upgrading his tank/heater/care routine with-out coming off as a know-it-all buttinski? Or compromise my job? I feel that as an informed betta owner/lover that it's my responsibility to inform her, but do not want to over-step my bounds, and broach something that is not my business--but at the same time, I really want to share my experience.

Any ideas or suggestions? Would love to hear your thoughts! 

Thanks!;-)


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## xShainax (Feb 11, 2012)

Tell her to join the forum.


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## LadyVictorian (Nov 23, 2011)

I would just slip it in casually, maybe like "Don't you think he would like a bigger tank?" or "Hey I see you have a betta. I have a bunch at home and have a lot of interesting information on them. I can share some with you if you like." Normally what I start with.


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## Pilot00 (Jul 24, 2012)

Ask her what he feeds him. Then tell her that you too have many. She will most likely ask you if she really loves him. And then tell her.

Or find an excuse to go into the office and after said excuse ask her how is the fish doing small talktime, and then twist the conversation into caring.


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## JadeAngel (Jul 31, 2012)

xShainax said:


> Tell her to join the forum.


I like xShainax's idea. Casually getting into the topic may be ok for some people, but other people are really sensitive about pet care... and will get offended if you even suggest they might need to learn anything about their pet. Since she's your boss, that's a fine line to tred.

You could also get her a betta book as a gift and tell her you are really into bettas and thought it would be nice to have someone at the store that you could talk to about the hobby. Another good idea would be to get her a thermometer for her tank. They're only $2 normally, and if you got her a thermometer as a gift to help her new betta, she may realize that they need care like any other pet 

Good luck with it!


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## homegrown terror (Aug 6, 2012)

i'd take $30 and just go buy a 3gal tank for her. i've got two of these http://www.walmart.com/ip/Tetra-LED-Cube-3-Gallon-Aquarium-Fish-Aquatic-Pets/20693135 and they'd look wonderful on a desktop. they only take up about two square feet of surface space, but have plenty of room for both swimming and planting. it'll help the little guy so much, and put you on the short-list next time raises or promotions are going around.


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## teeneythebetta (Apr 29, 2012)

I agree with xshainax.
Telling her about the forum, tell her its a great community, theres betta art, betta chat, photo sharing & more.
That way she wont feel offended at all, but she will still get the right information if she joins.


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## ao (Feb 29, 2012)

I have a betta in the exact same cube, and I have to say the care required to maintain the cube is no beginner's task XD
To get have zero ammonia I have to have live plants and do a water change every second day...you also need to heat the tank... which I do with a reptile heat pad :/

I think explaining all this stuff to your boss will just overwhelm her with too much information XD

So I totally agree with the "Hey I see you have a betta, can I recommend you a forum about bettas? You can learn everything you need to know there!"


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

How do you heat it. Slip her a care sheet without letting her know she reads it and gets proper care.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

Plus to the person with the cube excerise and heating. A betta lives longer in at least a two gallon. The tank fails all care. Just because you are not a beginner does not mean you could keep your fish in a .5 gallon. You need heating and excerise.


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## ao (Feb 29, 2012)

he's a rescue lol. it's not intended to be a permanant home or anything. I don't have room for him right now 
So I'm basically just waiting for him to heal up his fins so I can adopt him out. He's healthy in all other regards ^_^

He flares at the heating mat all the time, I think because it's reflective. And he's the most active little thing you'll ever see. LOL. I want him out of here too


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## BettaQi (Jul 26, 2012)

I think it depends on your relationship with her.

If she's approachable and you're on good terms, she might love to hear " I norticed you got a betta! He's gorgeous! I have x number."

She'll talk about her fish for a while and ask you a little about yours then 

After a little while say something like, " several of my friends have bettas that lived for over 5 years and stayed very healthy and they told me their secrets -- i could bring you a care sheet that I followed bc I had mine in a tank that was too cold -- they need heaters."


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

You could slip a care sheet next to the tank secretly.


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## jag14 (Sep 23, 2012)

My betta started out in a large vase on top of the refridgerator in my office. I did some reading and decided he would do better in a bigger tank. If the boss does get a bigger tank, be careful of the filter. I bought a Marineland 3 gallon tank that came with a whisper internal filter. The little guy did fine for 3 days then I came to work and found him sucked up under the filter. I now have a new betta- Pet Supplies Plus was selling them for 1.00. I have a small azoo power filter meant for small desktop tanks. It works good and doesn't suck up the fish.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

My Betta started out in an unfiltered unheated open top 1.5 gallon vase I added a heater when I took apart another tank. I later put him in a ten gallon tank with an apple snail.


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## teeneythebetta (Apr 29, 2012)

You can use panty hose to cover the intake of filters


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

I do not need to lower the current even with long fins he swims great.


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## jag14 (Sep 23, 2012)

My office is very warm in the winter, so I think my tank should be ok. I might get a heater anyway, just to be safe. The boss needs to be aware of the needs of a healthy betta. I would direct her to the forum or just leave a book, like I noticed your fish, thought maybe you might want to learn more about them.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

You need a heater temp changes in a office.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

Pamphlet of betta care next her desk when not looking.


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## ao (Feb 29, 2012)

hahaha 
that will be awkward XD

just approach her like ur happy to see another betta lover 
people are usually suspicious and non trusting of sneakiness


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

I think the pamphlet is the least dangerous. Your boss may do more research and realize her care is bad.


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## WashingtonCowgirl (Jul 27, 2010)

ChoclateBetta said:


> I think the pamphlet is the least dangerous. Your boss may do more research and realize her care is bad.


I disagree. I think that sneaking a pamphlet in would be most dangerous. Just talk to her, find a way to bring up bettas.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

WashingtonCowgirl said:


> I disagree. I think that sneaking a pamphlet in would be most dangerous. Just talk to her, find a way to bring up bettas.


It is zero risk to her job. Some people get angry when told there care is bad. If the boss doubts the care she researchs it. If the boss believes the care she follows it. If the boss ignore it then tell the person yourself.


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## WashingtonCowgirl (Jul 27, 2010)

ChoclateBetta said:


> It is zero risk to her job. Some people get angry when told there care is bad. If the boss doubts the care she researchs it. If the boss believes the care she follows it. If the boss ignore it then tell the person yourself.


Yes. And if she gets caught, the boss will bring it up. I know if I were the boss, that would lead to some hurt feelings on my part. Its something so simple to just TALK about, and if my employees don't feel comfortable doing that then what am I doing wrong?


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

If she is not caught two out of the three options work. The stragey is meant for her if she fears her boss will argue and get defensive if not talking is a great idea.


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## ao (Feb 29, 2012)

There are lots of ways to talk so people don't get defensive 
as long as it's not:
"You need a 5 gallon tank! you need a heater! you need to do water changes! or he will die!"

lololol because that's what really gets people defensive.


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## SnowySurface (Apr 25, 2011)

ChoclateBetta said:


> It is zero risk to her job. Some people get angry when told there care is bad. If the boss doubts the care she researchs it. If the boss believes the care she follows it. If the boss ignore it then tell the person yourself.


In my experience, it's more dangerous to be passive agrressive than direct. When something is done passive aggressively, it gives off the image that you bottle things up until you explode and then act like you don't have a mushroom cloud above your head. If you think something is being done wrong it is more professional to tell someone in private to their face in a direct manor.

Also, tone is not conveyed well in type or gestures. Quite a few arguements have happened on the forum because people read the wrong tone in a message.  The same could happen with a secret pamplet since it could come off as judgemental instead of informative. If the OP just tells her boss face to face, the boss will know the OP isn't being judgemental but caring. The OP noticed a problem, and suggested corrections for the sole purpose of correcting an error. No judgement. No Holier than thou mentality. Only straight to the point facts. 

In fact, if I was in the OP's postion and I noticed my department manager had a betta in that set up, I would say, "Excuse me, I've been caring for betta fish for a little over 9 years and couldn't help but notice your's. Bettas are tropical fish that need 78-80 degree water and at least 1 gallon of water to survive. A better set up is 2.5 gallons with a heater and thermometer because 1 gallon tanks are so unstable. Ammonia spikes happen out of no where...the smaller the heater the less reliable it...2.5 gallons is a nice mix of stability and small size."

However, I'm a bit blunt and would have spoken my mind the first time I saw her fish in too small of a set up. I have my two 5 gallon tanks as my screen saver on my computer and have talked about tanks with a co-worker during lunch. It isn't a secret that I'm obsessed with fish. :lol: The OP may have to mention that she's been worried about insulting the boss, but wants to share some knowledge before suggesting the upgrade.


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## WashingtonCowgirl (Jul 27, 2010)

SnowySurface said:


> In my experience, it's more dangerous to be passive agrressive than direct. When something is done passive aggressively, it gives off the image that you bottle things up until you explode and then act like you don't have a mushroom cloud above your head. If you think something is being done wrong it is more professional to tell someone in private to their face in a direct manor.
> 
> Also, tone is not conveyed well in type or gestures. Quite a few arguements have happened on the forum because people read the wrong tone in a message.  The same could happen with a secret pamplet since it could come off as judgemental instead of informative. If the OP just tells her boss face to face, the boss will know the OP isn't being judgemental but caring. The OP noticed a problem, and suggested corrections for the sole purpose of correcting an error. No judgement. No Holier than thou mentality. Only straight to the point facts.
> 
> ...


This is what I was trying to say lol


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## RandyTheBettaFish (Jul 11, 2012)

Tell your boss about the forum. All other ways could lead to hurt feelings.


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## Onlyonagoodday (Jan 20, 2012)

I like BettaQi's idea. Mention you have a beta too that way its a casual conversation about something you have in common not you preaching. Then bring up the fact that a bigger tank would be easier to care for and that he would look much better in something a bit larger. I think this would be best if you had any extra supplies, like "you know I have some extra decorations, if you decide to get a new tank" so that you're being encouraging and willing to help her. I don't think she'll get upset.


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## bahamut285 (Dec 10, 2010)

To be honest, I personally think you should maybe go up to her and say something like: "oh you have a betta! he's really pretty, they're such great pets, I've had them for a few years! Feel free if you need to ask me anything, I'll be happy to help"

...and leave it at that. If she doesn't ask for your help, then I think you should mind your own business (not in a rude way!). A lot of people (sometimes displayed on this forum here) don't like to be told they are doing something wrong. However if presented with an offer to help, they may or may not come to you depending on how much your boss actually cares for them.

In the end it is HER pet and HER responsibility. You shouldn't threaten your job and boss-employee relationship over something like this.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

RandyTheBettaFish said:


> Tell your boss about the forum. All other ways could lead to hurt feelings.


I meant some people no matter how much you prove them wrong and refuse good care. Talking is best but showing a paper care sheet will make your point.


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## bahamut285 (Dec 10, 2010)

Giving and ditching a care sheet on their desk is (as Snowy said) very passive aggressive. It says to me: "Here, you obviously have no idea what you're doing so here is a big sheet that you should follow" - Anonymous.

If I got a random sheet like that on my desk I would be pretty insulted. I would just throw the paper out and find out who left it there. You should be able to communicate effectively with others without causing harm. If you can't do it, then don't say anything.


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

I would read the paper. Talking is a good method too.


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## ao (Feb 29, 2012)

ChoclateBetta said:


> I meant some people no matter how much you prove them wrong and refuse good care. Talking is best but showing a paper care sheet will make your point.


I don't think it's ever a good idea to try an prove people wrong and myself right...
If I talk to someone because I care about them and not just because I want to prove them wrong... it always works out. 
There is no point of proving someone wrong if I will only agitate them, I'm willig to take a step back and accomodate their opinions and talk to them from a level they can accept.

So usually instead of:
"Your tank is too small, you should get atleast a 2.5 gallon, or your betta will die prematurely"

I would say:
"Hi! Your fish is so beautiful! it's a shame that the tank's so small! Did the LFS worker tell you it was ok? nah... don't believe them, Bettas don't actually live in tiny puddles *insert fact about real betta habitat here*.
I would recommend you to get a 2.5 gallon tank. It's also a bonus that they're easier to heat because bettas are tropical fish, and don't do too well without a heater! Did you know they've been known to live up to eight years?" etcetc. 

Ofcourse the above conversation will be modified according to the listener's response  99% of the time, it gets the message theough to people XD


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Every time I tell someone about the forum they look at me like, Whaaatt! lol


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I wouldn't let a little care sheet make me mad.


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## Pilot00 (Jul 24, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> I wouldn't let a little care sheet make me mad.


Yeah i think thats overreacting.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Pilot00 said:


> Yeah i think thats overreacting.


It IS overreacting. If someone left an anonymous care sheet on my desk I'd probably laugh about it. Flipping out over it is silly.


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## Leeniex (Aug 14, 2011)

bahamut285 said:


> To be honest, I personally think you should maybe go up to her and say something like: "oh you have a betta! he's really pretty, they're such great pets, I've had them for a few years! Feel free if you need to ask me anything, I'll be happy to help"
> 
> ...and leave it at that. If she doesn't ask for your help, then I think you should mind your own business (not in a rude way!). A lot of people (sometimes displayed on this forum here) don't like to be told they are doing something wrong. However if presented with an offer to help, they may or may not come to you depending on how much your boss actually cares for them.
> 
> In the end it is HER pet and HER responsibility. You shouldn't threaten your job and boss-employee relationship over something like this.


Yes!


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## JadeAngel (Jul 31, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> It IS overreacting. If someone left an anonymous care sheet on my desk I'd probably laugh about it. Flipping out over it is silly.



It's good that you wouldn't let it upset you, but I don't think feeling insulted for it would be overreacting. It actually is insulting, in my opinion. If you can't be straight forward enough to either talk to them about it in a friendly manner, or suggest some tips of a forum... then you should just let it go. An anonmous fact sheet is like "hey dope! since you can't take care of a 2" fish, and I don't want to get in trouble for telling you how, here... read up! you don't know it's from me, so no problems, right?"

That's how it could come across for a lot of people. Slipping things to them anonymously represents embarassment, either an anonymous love letter, or an anonymous "take care of your freak'n fish" sheet. And if someone felt the only way to give me advise was in secret, it would upset me.

I still say suggesting the forum and casual conversation is the best option, and if you can let them know what's considered ideal for betta care in a friendl conversation that would be great too... but don't do anything secret or sneaky, because some people may find it to be sill... most people find it to come across as telling your boss she's unapproachable (having been in management and teaching, that was the last thing in the world someone in authority would want)


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## ChoclateBetta (Jul 22, 2012)

It is my method was merly a back up. I know I would read a paper on a desk of mine.


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## SnowySurface (Apr 25, 2011)

So....Is anyone else curious how it went with the boss? I know it's just me being nosy, but I'm wondering if the OP ever did follow any of our advise. XD


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## JadeAngel (Jul 31, 2012)

I agree... I'm curious how it turned out too.


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## Pilot00 (Jul 24, 2012)

+1


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## dragonscalecrowntail02 (Sep 23, 2012)

I would tell her that winter is coming around, and as well as keeping herself warm, she should also keep her friend warm. Tell her his color will pop, er, something. Make it more about keeping her happy (even though the Betta is VERY important) she is your boss, and you don't want to screw your job up. Or, if you have an extra tank laying around, bring it in to her as a present. It's a tough situation.


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