# Confessional



## Frizandi (Nov 26, 2007)

I have to use this forum to confess. I accidentally killed my poor fish, Peanut Butter. I was trying to turn down the heater, but turned it up instead, and discovered it too late. I am heartbroken and guilt-ridden. It didn't have to happen.

I brought Peanut Butter back from the brink of death twice. He had been purchased at a local 99 cent store along with another betta we named Jelly. Peanut Butter was an awesome little fishy who always did the "fishy dance" when he was hungry. Now he's gone, and it was at my own hand. I can't even express how sad I feel.

I had the best of intentions, but the worst of brains.

When I told my daughter what happened, I told her that every fish that leaves us leaves us a little smarter, and we learned so much about caring for bettas because of Peanut Butter. I also told her that Peanut Butter moved aside because there were more bettas that needed rescuing. To that end, we bought two more fish and named them George and Ringo. George was the rattiest looking fish in the store and I knew nobody would buy him. Now he's ours, and at least he has a chance, thanks to Peanut Butter, and to all the people here who helped me keep him alive for almost two years. Not bad for a 99 cent store fish.

Still in all, I'll never really forgive myself.

Good grief, I miss him so much........:sob::BIGweepy:


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## Persica (Jul 14, 2011)

Oh honey.  Accidents do happen. Don't be hard on yourself over it. It seems to me that these things happen for a reason. Maybe it was just his time to go. That's what I believe, anyway. He had a longer life than most bettas get and that's all thanks to you. He's in a really good place now and I'm sure he still remembers fondly what you did for him. And he'll be waiting to meet you some day. <3 Please feel better, and don't beat yourself up.


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## Frizandi (Nov 26, 2007)

Thank you so much, Persica, for your kind words of support. I, too, believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe the Universe knew that George needed us. He's so small and ratty looking. Maybe this is the opportunity to give George what we gave Peanut Butter. Nobody else would have wanted him.

Still........


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## freeflow246 (Jul 24, 2011)

I know how you feel. I had a betta in middle school that I loved with my whole heart. It was winter, so I had been giving him some slightly warm water whenever I changed his little tank. One day I made it too warm, and when I checked on him a few hours later he was long gone. I felt so terrible, because he had died at my hand, and from my lack of knowledge and experience. Words cannot describe that sick feeling that just eats at your chest. Ultimately though, I had to dust myself off and let myself realize that it was an accident, nothing more.

His name was Niran. Funny how that means everlasting, isn't it?

Oddly enough, even 5 years later, this makes me even more determined not to let my new little boy, Jalen, down. I will watch over him like a hawk.

Sorry, I didn't mean to gush all over your thread. Your post just brought back memories since Niran died much the same way Peanut Butter did.


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## Frizandi (Nov 26, 2007)

Freeflow, you most definitely did not gush on my thread. Rather, you echoed perfectly exactly what I feel. It's such a miserable feeling, especially when you feel you should have known better. We all have the best of intentions.

Niran was the perfect name for your little guy, because he will be everlasting in your heart and serve as an ambassador to the grieving. While your story is just as sad as mine, I do take comfort in knowing there are other kind, loving, compassionate people out there who had a less than perfect moment with tragic results.

I really like what you have written at the bottom of your post about not boycotting pet store bettas. I've already done just that. My daughter and I went to Petland and bought the rattiest fish in the store, figuring if he doesn't last at least he had a few good quality days. Well, he has surprised us all and he is the perkiest little fishy. He's really adorable, as is the other one we bought at the same time. 

Peanut Butter and Niran have left both of us smarter and more diligent, and they have given other little fishies a chance to live the good life. I hope that will bring us both closure.

Thank you for sharing your story with me.:BIGangel::thankyou:

Peace.


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## freeflow246 (Jul 24, 2011)

Aw, no problem. *hugs* It's nice to talk to people who understand your situation, no matter what it is. And I'm glad that you were able to rescue a sick little guy and give him a happy and healthy life. That's how I got my little Jalen; his water was filthy and he had been pushed to the back of the shelf. 

If you ever need to talk about anything, just send me a PM.


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## Orsini (Jul 24, 2011)

You've inspired me to purchase the rattiest looking fish at my local petstore for our next Betta. You've now helped save another little Betta's life by inspiring me to get the one no1 else would get.


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## Romad (Jun 28, 2009)

Awwwww.. I'm sorry about Peanut Butter. I actually remember when you got the two of them. I'd feel the same way you do but we can't go back and undo anything. Just remember what a great life you gave him while he was in your care.

I also got a scraggly ragged looking fish from Petco that had been there for months. They didn't even know what to seel him as since he had no fin definition. I called him Brillo because of the shape of those fins and within a few months he was a stunning HM. 

Good luck with George and Ringo - post some pics. if you can.


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## person (Aug 1, 2011)

im sorry about your fishy. One of mine met a simmilar fate yesterday. i was about to clean out his bowl and he was known to be a jumper. i got him in the net and he somehow flopped himself out of the net before i could get him into a cup with a lid. it wasnt a very far fall but he was old and it must have bin too much for him. i feel really bad. he was the only betta fish i had that knew a trick. he could jump out of his bowl and catch food. i feel like its my fault cuz im the one who taught him to jump like that. he was a very good fishy and the oldest one l had. at least he had a long life tho. he seemed almost indestructable because hes gotten over two very bad illnesses and it seems like ive had him forever. RIP lil guy :'(


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