# Having trouble letting go



## DaBoz (May 26, 2017)

Back in February, I adopted a teeny red baby Bertta from petco, and instantly I we seemed to really connect. I?ve had/have other bettas, and they all have their quirks, but there was something special about the teeny baby fish that I eventually called lil? red. He was so playful, would follow my finger around his bowl, making circle patterns. Anytime I was anywhere near his bowl, he would zip back and forth excitedly, wanting me to come closer so he could chase my finger around. I feel silly for saying so, but I really adored him, he was the sweetest fish just bursting with energy and joy. I?ve read numerous things about how Bettas are incapable of feeling love or joy in the same way we do...but I don?t really believe that, just because of lil? red.

After I had him for awhile, one day I noticed something odd about lil? reds lower lip...or rather, he didn?t appear to have one anymore, it was just gone. He was still high spirited and eating normally, but I could actually see his teeth and this worried me, so I treated his water to ensure anything bad he might?ve gotten was taken care of. A few more months passed and everything seemed fine, until one day he just became lethargic and somewhat unresponsive, but this too passed.

Then out of the blue, his vibrant red color all but drained out of him, he became a dull faded looking brown...and it just got worse from there. For three days he was still (mostly) active, but as time progressed he got worse, and no amount of medicating the water was helping. Naturally I was pretty upset, and it got to the point where he had trouble swimming...and even when he was struggling, when I got close he would try his hardest to swim to the surface, just to play with me...but he couldn?t. The best I could do was lift him a little so he could get air, but by the end of the third day after his color faded he passed.

...this was in August.

I still have several Bettas, and I love them all for their own traits and characteristics, but I still find myself missing lil? Red horribly. Sometimes I just think of him at random moments, and I have to keep myself from crying. I had to get rid of all his decorations and tank because I just couldn?t look at them without feeling terrible. I?m just not sure how to get over it, it?s been so long, but I miss him so badly. He was such a sweet and happy little fish...I don?t understand why this had to happen to him.

I don?t think I?ll ever have another one quite like him, I have a few that are close, but none are as playful and attentive as he used to be. I just felt the need to post something like this, I wasn?t sure where else to. I feel silly for missing him so badly, I don?t want to be so attached...but he was my little buddy, and there?s just no replacing him.


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## lilnaugrim (Mar 27, 2013)

I'm sorry you lost a friend, it's never easy. But here's a tip for moving forward:


You aren't replacing him by any means ^_^ Any new fish you get and unique and different! You aren't replacing him but rather, you're giving another animal a second chance at life and that's good :-D That's how I always think of it; you're giving life and a great home for another animal that might not have gotten such a good caring home!


I know it doesn't help ease any pain but I hope it does give you some hope for helping others. You'll "move on" when you're ready and that's absolutely fine! Heck, I still miss fish that I kept eight years ago, sometimes they just strike you in such a way that it's hard to forget them and I don't believe you ever should ^_^


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## Kokoszka (Dec 18, 2017)

You're telling me... I accidentally let Koko fall into the bathtub drain!!! At least you weren't RESPONSIBLE for the fish's death!!  
What I can say is that we don't know how these fish 'feel' in their tanks. Likely, this fish you had was old and it was his time to go. I say that about Koko because of the particular circumstances of his passing into the bathtub drain - the way he strategically jumped over the tank wall as it was being tilted, how he landed EXACTLY in the drain. A lot of circumstances make me think this is what he wanted. Apart from that, his fins were ragged (though like yours he was jolly and happy). These are special creatures only betta lovers will understand. RIP to both of ours <33 

Please get another fish to fill the empty tank! I have Junior as well. I like betta because they're easy pets and as I want to have a child someday, I don't want to be bothered with a dog.


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