# The Opposite Thread



## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

So I know how we all want our bettas to be healthy and happy. But I was thinking, what if we acted the opposite?

Example:

What I usually say: Bettas need to be kept warm!
What I would type: Bettas don't need a heater, they can live in cold water! 

So oppose everything this forum stands for!


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Make sure your filter is powerful. This is good for the betta.(I feel like the petsmart employee).
Also anything less than 1/2 a gallon is ideal for a betta fish.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

OH yeah, forgot about that. Don't forget to dump a handful of flakes (pellets are bad) into your betta's 1/2g bowl every day 2x a day.


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

If you don't want a filter, great! Change your water every two years!


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## fleetfish (Jun 29, 2010)

Feed your bettas huge portions of healthy unicorn bones, Elephant hair, and ceasar salad. (I was trying to figure out what the opposite of an insect was, but failed, lol) TIP: ALWAYS WASH your tanks with industrial grade detergent! It is imperative to the health of your beautiful betta that their fins disintengrate.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

Make sure you don't use dechlorinator. It can damage their scales.


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Freeze-dried food is best for your betta.


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## Thomasdog (Jan 26, 2012)

Feeling like idiot: let your males be together in a small bowl! They LOVE it!


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## aqua001 (Jan 13, 2012)

LEAVE YOUR TANK PLAIN!!! Also, don't forget to put at least 35 males in a one gallon! they get along wonderfully and will have plenty of room!


(OMG, we sound so sarcastic lol)


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

Oh crap, I almost put a plant in there because I thought he'd like to hide! Good thing I listened to you guys! *phew*

I alro remembered that bettas don't jump, so you don't need a lid.


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## Olympia (Aug 25, 2011)

If you ever get bored of your fish- just leave him. He'll die a natural death of starvation, it happens in the wild, they're used to it. If you don't wanna be bothered with cleaning the tank, just hide it behind a shelf or something so you won't have to look at it anymore! (my friend actually did this a few years back... I found a crusty little fish skeleton in her bathroom in a critter keeper one day. x.x)


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

Put your fish in a bottle they'll live happy! you could even put together male or female it doesn't matter.
or
betta's can't live with anything, but you could put them in a vase WITH a cover on!! they won't suffocate, they could live on plants for food. make sure to give them like 10 pellets more than 2x a day
You don't need to clean there tanks, they live in filth all the time.

also be careful when you breed them, female's eat the male's after wards (that's what one employee actually said XD)


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## Thomasdog (Jan 26, 2012)

here another one! xD 
If your betta looks sick, it's probably just too warm and there is too little ammonia in the water. put a TON of ice cubes in there and add some nice dirt and seashells and rocks. They'll feel better right away!


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

make sure to bleach there gravel!! XD


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## MistersMom (Aug 9, 2011)

To make sure your Betta lives a long happy life:

Do as P.E.D.A says and dump it in the OCEAN! that is of course their natural habitat!
Oh, and don't forget, if you would like to keep it as a pet, they are very low maintenance and barely need any attention, just put them in a bowl in the window seal and let them eat what ever bug falls in there once in a while, and you should be good! maybe feed them a cookie every now and then :3 they like cookies!


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Breeding bettas is simple and does not take a lot of research. The best part is, there is only a few fry! If you're hungry, you can cook bettas, in fact they are very tasty. Also, they are good with cats! Make sure you have an uncovered container with a cat close by.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

Don't forget to leave them in a little kids room within their arm's reach. Also don't ever clean the tank. It's bad for them.

In fact, just leave them in the cup they came in!


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## fleetfish (Jun 29, 2010)

Pirhanas: The PERFECT betta tank companion!


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## Bladezero (May 14, 2012)

It's good for your betta to be taken out on weekly basis and do a "hair cut" on his fins so they won't get to long.
(lol its hard pressing post)


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## Laki (Aug 24, 2011)

Well, in order to mimic their natural rice paddie habitat during a drought you should leave them in thier cups and add some soil. Any backyard soil will do because they'll eat bugs that are in it. When they're nice and dry you can water them two or three times a week and they'll live like they do in the wild. No kidding!


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## GreenTea (Jan 31, 2011)

Fill your tanks with coral and rough decor so that your betta may better scratch his or her itch against the rocks.


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

If you betta is sick, throw it in the toilet and buy another! or if that was is boring, neglect it until it finally die's
(yeah it's hard to click post XD)


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## MistersMom (Aug 9, 2011)

Don't forget to take your betta on a daily walk!
they'll enjoy the fresh air


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

Take it out of the tank and sleep with it! XD lol


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## Bladezero (May 14, 2012)

Betta's favorite past time is playing with cats, so if you have a cat let him play with the betta he'll love it! If you don't you can just leave the bowl outside in the sun for neighborhood cats to play with him!


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## MistersMom (Aug 9, 2011)

no need toget a heater, just put a blanket on it in the winter, and leave it in the sun in the summer!


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

If you really want a conditioner for the water, try Gold Bond! This stuff works!


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## djembekah (Feb 13, 2012)

carry your fish around in your mouth. it helps their immune system!


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## Olympia (Aug 25, 2011)

And freshens your breath! They eat that piece of lettuce you were too lazy to floss out! :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MistersMom (Aug 9, 2011)

LOL ewww..... oh hey all you guys lets not forget, they love to cuddle :3 just cuddle with them while you sleep, they'll love you soo much!


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Don't forget to put their favorite clothes on, they love clothes!


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## MaisyDawgThirteen (Dec 7, 2011)

They will die if they are in ANYTHING more than a 0.3 gallon, as they don't like large spaces. lol


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## Aus (Feb 3, 2012)

To avoid your betta pining for the paddies of Thailand, simply tip a cup or two of wholegrain rice into his tank. Your fish will thank you!


(omg, "_carry your fish around in your mouth. it helps their immune system!_", roflmao!! I almost choked laughing..:lol: )


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

The best tank mate is a great-white shark!


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

They could go in salt or fresh water aquariums XD


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## Aus (Feb 3, 2012)

Rather than leaving your betta to swelter in his tank through the summer heat, do the right thing and let him tag along next time you cool yourself off the swimming pool.


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Forget the swimming pool, put him/her in a glass of ice-cold lemonade.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

You can put them in almost any liquid because they breathe air due to their lungs. Like people. If their tail looks scraggly or bad, you can cut those parts off with scissors.


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## fleetfish (Jun 29, 2010)

Blasting a betta's bowl with huge volumes of music and other vibrational noise is stimulating, calming, and ultimately rewarding for your betta fish. They will thank you throughout the day as you constantly blast them out of their tanks and give you little kisses as they are flung high in the air. Nurture your betta with a stimulating, loud, hectic environment and they will love you for eternity!


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

The perfect accessory is either a broken mirror or an iphone. You should see how much bettas love texting!


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## Aus (Feb 3, 2012)

Speaking of iPhones.. the iPod tank (yes! a betta _inside_ your iPod! The miracle of technology and fish, and Weezer, all coming together!) is the ideal bonding experience. Not only can you carry your fish around in your pocket or purse all day, but also share your favourite tunes with him. 

Don't listen to those nay-sayers who may claim he's in distress and gasping for oxygen, when it's obvious he's _singing along_!


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## MistersMom (Aug 9, 2011)

and don't forget the shoes with bettas in them! those are wonderful, they don't shake them, if they float its not dead its because its relaxing, you can now take them everywhere and wear them! just like Beyonce


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

Lol Beyonce. 


Bettas love vibrations in their tanks, so put their small (less than .5g) bowl on a speaker or TV.


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

Betta's could fly!! XD LOL!!

you could give them foods or drinks you have, so you could give them apple juice or sandwitches XD


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Males and females get along fine living together. In fact, the more the merrier in a small container. Don't forget the peace lily. They love to eat the roots and the peace lily cleans up all the poo so you never have to clean the bowl or vase. Just top the water off when it gets low and you're good to go.


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## MameJenny (Jun 11, 2012)

BETTA CARE 101:

Keep your betta in a small, cool habitat. Plastic cups sold at most pet stores are adequate. Bettas come from the cool mud puddles of China, and large tropical aquariums will scare them to death. If you wish to keep a larger aquarium, keep in mind that male bettas are schooling fish and prefer to be in groups of 12 or more.

Being omnivores, bettas can eat anything from dead spiders to table scraps. They also enjoy eating lettuce and plant roots.

Suitable tank mates for bettas include other bettas, clownfish, nurse sharks, piranhas and lobsters. If you wish to decorate your pet's aquarium, live coral and broken mirror pieces are ideal. Bettas eat their own waste and rarely need water changes; if your water begins to get green and murky, this is actually from beneficial antioxidants in the water.

Bettas are ideal pets for young children, having a short life span of 2-4 months. Be sure to give one to everyone you know!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

MameJenny said:


> BETTA CARE 101:
> 
> Keep your betta in a small, cool habitat. Plastic cups sold at most pet stores are adequate. Bettas come from the cool mud puddles of China, and large tropical aquariums will scare them to death. If you wish to keep a larger aquarium, keep in mind that male bettas are schooling fish and prefer to be in groups of 12 or more.
> 
> ...


Rofl! ! They also like pepperoni pizza.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

HAha mamejenny, that was hilarious. XD

Don't forget they have huge stomachs, so feed them whenever.


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## inareverie85 (Apr 18, 2008)

(deleted)

Post is not the same if the forum doesnt allow for capslock.


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## MistersMom (Aug 9, 2011)

inareverie85 said:


> (deleted)
> 
> Post is not the same if the forum doesnt allow for capslock.


lol, just make it ****** and really big like this--->


*See?​*


maybe not.... lol.


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## PaintingPintos (Dec 27, 2011)

Remember that bettas suffer from severe gastric inflammation when they consume foods like betta pellets, or anything containing any insect or animal.
You will need to keep them on a strict diet of avacado, Cap'n Crunch (preferably the peanut butter kind), Chocolate Betty Crocker Cake Icing (please no vanilla-- it's bad for them).....another thing.....If you see that your betta's fins are seemingly rotting, with black or greying tips, and the fins look like they're being eaten away, take 3/4 cup of table salt per gallon, and dump it right in. Be sure to put it _directly_ onto the fish, as it will kill all bacteria and will give a soothing, tingling feeling.
Every day pour a tablespoon of vinegar into the tank (1 tbsp per gallon) and take a wooden stirrer and make sure you STIR like a tornado is going on. It kills algae and will simulate a natural "thunderstorm" like in the wild. Also if your tank is 1 gallon or smaller (the smaller the better) please use 8+ air pumps....bettas need LOTS of oxygen in the wild, as they are used to living in huge natural lakes with waterfalls surrounding it...Tanks larger than 1 gallon should NOT have any type of air pump or filteration.
Also a good thing to do is clean the tank every year or so...it's not like the betta lives very long so why bother keeping it clean?
One last thing....goldfish make great companions for bettas. Make sure it's 4+ inches long, because it needs to act like a "nanny" to the betta. Make the temperature appropriate for the goldfish, do not mind the betta because the goldfish will snuggle up to the betta and keep it warm. 
(PS goldfish are not the only good tank mates.....Great white shark babies are great, and so are freshwater eels, as well as painted turtles and bala sharks!!)
HAVE FUN AND DON'T FORGET TO FEED YOUR FISH EVERY 3 HOURS!!!


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

That was great! lol

Also, how the iPod tanks make great homes for them.


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## SnowySurface (Apr 25, 2011)

*Trademarked by Snowy&Surface, Inc.*

Have you ever looked around your home, patio, or home office and thought to yourself, "Boy, I wish there was a unique way to spruce up this place." :dunno:

Ladies and gentlemen, I have the answers to your prays. I bring to your attention the latest fad to hit the home and garden decore sceen since the air freshener. 

That's right, I'm talking about.....BETTA VASE!!!! mg:

All you need is our trademark vase full of colorful beads and some water. Once you add the betta insert, which is imported directly from taiwain I might add, you'll have a centerpiece that will make all your friends green with envy. Your domestic decore will go from common and homely to unique and exotic in a matter of moments!

Now, you may be thinking, "Snowy, isn't that cruel to the betta?" :hmm:

Let me assure you that bettas do nothing but float, poop, eat, and stare into space. They have no personalities and are terrified of open spaces. Our 0.5 gallon Vase is the best place to keep theses little guys. Feed your betta our special betta chow once a week and he will live out the rest of his 2-6 month life in perfect peaceful tranquility. :-D

Need a centerpiece for the tables at your wedding? White Bettas!

Need cheap decorations for your up coming 4th of July BBQ? Bettas also come in Red and Blue!

Does that table in your livingroom look a bit bleak and dull? If there's a color you want, there's a Betta that will match it!

For the low, low price of $9.99, you can have a Betta Vase of your own. Can't stop at just one? Then don't! Call in now and you'll get our $50 rainbow special. You heard that right folks. 7 Betta Vases in 7 different colors for just $50! 

BUY NOW!!!!!!!! :BIGcha-ching:

Operators are standing by. 

Betta Vase - The future of interior design ;-) 

(I had way too much fun writing that :rofl


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## Gamma (Oct 25, 2011)

Oh don't forget about bath time! Betta's LOVE to take bubble baths! It's like the bubble nest their Dad built for them.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

If you really want your bettas to be happy, try the lava-lamp tank! It's great and has plenty of colors/bubbles, which bettas love.


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## Laki (Aug 24, 2011)

lol Snowy!! Great job! I died laughing, I read it in a commentator's voice as you would on tv. The last part "betta vase- the future of interior design" I read really fast like the side effects are read on tv ads. Oh my. Good morning to me!


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## SnowySurface (Apr 25, 2011)

Laki said:


> lol Snowy!! Great job! I died laughing, I read it in a commentator's voice as you would on tv. The last part "betta vase- the future of interior design" I read really fast like the side effects are read on tv ads. Oh my. Good morning to me!


:thankyou:


@Neil D. 
Nah, Lava Lamps are too retro. If Betta Vase really takes off, the next project launched by Snowy&Surface, Inc. will be Betta Globe. Your betta will be able to see the world while staying in a nice, cozy 0.5 gallon with a little circle at the equator for air. All the sights of travel without having to deal with large open spaces that fill bettas with fear. 

But that patent is still pending.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

Lol. Hysterical. 

Buy the new Betta filter! It has a 400 GPH flow rate, which every betta needs, unless it's in a .5 or less gallon tank.


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## PaintingPintos (Dec 27, 2011)

OH MY GOSH!!!! You people made me laugh like crazy XD


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Oh, the most _trendy_ way to keep a betta is in a snowglobe. You can enjoy your NYC or other travel memories with this. And the best part....you can shake the globe as well with the betta!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

When your betta is constipated feed him lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.


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## Thomasdog (Jan 26, 2012)

*Insert Dramatic Music Here*
*Male Voice* Tired of wearing the same old shoes every day? Tired of plain old leather, plastic, and wood? Wish you could be the envy of the neighboorhood with some snazzy new shoes your in-laws will be sure to hate you for??! Well then the new, the wonderful, the SPARKLY _Betta Shoes_ are for you!!! 
Meet the newest fashion trend, the awesome, wonderful _Betta Shoes_! These factory made, often defected plastic sparkly shoes include one beautiful betta fish in each shoe!! Watch your friends turn scaley with envy (or anger...) When you strut into town with your two new best accessories pounding along besides you!
Worried about your friend's safety? Never fear, _Betta Shoes_ are near! With 12 spike heels, no one is ever going to fall! Plus, there are plenty of places for your betta to hide, like under your wonderful stinky feet! Your natural foot heat and the heat from the outsides ofter heats the water to around 90 degrees, perfect for a betta. And in the winter, the cool temp with help your betta fight off infection. And when your bett dies? Well when you buy one pair of _Betta Shoes_, you automatically get 2 new replacements when both of your bettas die. 
That's right folks, as soon as your fish die just send the shoes and the fish back to the factory and get a new pair!! Wow what an amazing offer! Now, over to Evil I. Am, a satisfied customer of _Betta Shoes_!

*voice changes to toadlike woman*
Helllloo Chilldren,,, i jusst bouuuughhht a paair of theesse fannnncy neeewwww shooeeess, annd I caaaan't expresssssss hooow happpy I aaaam withhh theeeem. Theey amaaaze alll myyy friiiieends, and even myyy evvvvvviiilllll in-lawwwwssss. I looooovee _Beeettaaaa Shoeeeessss_.

*changes back to chipper male voice*
Well Ms. Am, I am glad to hear that you like our shoes. Mrs. Am, like millions of other people, are enjoying and relishing their wonderful new shoes. Order now!
*Changes to fast talking male, voice slightly lower*
Here's how to order the patent never pending due to animal abuse laws _Betta Shoes_. For only $49.99 you can get the FABULOUS betta shoes! Just call with your credit card in hand and be spolken to. Expect delievery of 2-3 weeks. Operators are standing by.

Shows dead betta and screen goes black.
>___o __< <---- that's a fail face.
Below is a photo of the awesome, amazing betta shoes. No offenceness intended. This is my betta, but not my heels...


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

lmao, that's hilarious!


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## Pearl2011 (May 21, 2012)

Glad read this! I suppose my betta is quite stressed though in his ten gallon heated filtered tank. I guess i better up grade him to a shot glass. Just filled it up with cold un-treated tap water and gave him a friend. A tiger shark! There so happy together! Besties for life!! I mean who cares? They're just a fish!! Why should anybody care about the stupid thing that doesn;t to be called an living being. They only good for one thing, dinner!

I'm crying I laughed so hard. Thomasdog, are those actually beta shoes? I saw a betta clock on one site. Quote: Nice and roomy! A whole 4 inches. Cant be opinion of it here. lol


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Since bettas can also breathe air....they don't even need water!


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

I actually like the betta clock. Except for the fact that it's small, not heated, no hiding place...never mind. XD


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## dbooknook (May 12, 2012)

Kid: I am soooooo bored.
Another Kid: Me, too.
*Genie appears*
Genie: I have a solution....*THE BETTA BAG*!
Kids: What's that?
*genie pulls up a sandwich bag sized ziploc with betta*
Kids: OOooh.... what do you do with it?
Genie: Here I'll show you.
*genie shakes bag ferociously*
Kids:That's so cool!
Genie: The best part is when your done, put the bag in the fridge!
*mom comes in and groans*
Good news is... Mom or dad won't need to take care of it because the betta is a super fish!
*mom cheers*
Genie: The Betta Bag costs only $16.99 in U.S. dollars. And if you order within the next 5 minutes...you get a FREE betta bag bag!
fast narrator voice: Bettas won't live that long and when your betta dies....you get another betta for $1.00. This item is against animal rights and whoever owns this will be sent to jail for 5 years. Stupid and Co. is not responsible.
Kids and Genie: Get your betta bag today....it shakes things up!

:checkedout:I died laughing right after I wrote this.


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## Neil D (Apr 10, 2011)

haha that was great.


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## shadowpony (Apr 15, 2012)

If your fish bubbleheads, he is very sick. Signs of sickness include, activity, flaring bright colors, and long, full tails.


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## Thomasdog (Jan 26, 2012)

lol shadowpony!

the betta shoes are not real, i just edited them...... but a fake betta would be cooollll..!


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## Pearl2011 (May 21, 2012)

A real one would be even betta! Get it? Bad joke, I know. 

Your good at editing! I showed it to my mom thinking it was real. Awkward . . .


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