# what do i do? :,(



## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

My little brother adopted a VERY VERY young veiltail male about a month ago..he doesnt feed it ..or clean its tank..and ive taken these responsiblites myself...ive started to BOND with the fish now..sadly...and i want to make him mine and give him a better life  what can i do?? my parents refuse to let me have the fish unless he agrees..but he continues to say NO ..though he NEVER takes care of the thing...:/ he never even named it! i can tell its at most 6 mnths old....it looks VERY young compared to my zipper...


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

heres a pic of the little guy in his filthy tank..which i was about to clean..and have done so since this pic..


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## ksage505 (Sep 19, 2011)

Are your parents aware of how he treats the betta? If not, definitely tell them how he doesn't take care of the fish and you have been the one to care for it. Let them know how bettas need to be cared for and without your doing it the fish probably would not live. Personally, if I knew my child was neglecting the fish to this level I would not let him keep it.


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

i have told them this..but they have refused to listen..and i agree with you..the poor thing swims around frantically everytime it see's me..as if it knows i wont just walk past it and ill actually sit down and watch it for a while..and give it food and the care it needs. i told them they need to upgrade to a 2.5 gallon..but there keeping it in a 1 tgallon...*sigh* im even willing to divide my 8 gallon to have this little guy..or hec..go out and buy a sepreate 5 gallon just for him...:/


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

to be honest...im afraid he will die soon if i dont get him better care..im doing the best i can..but truth is..the only time i KNOW for sure the fish hasnt been feed or his tank hasnt been cleaned is when its becomeing extreme...:/


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## Indyfishy (May 31, 2010)

Poor guy, have you tried offering to buy the fish from your brother? Since you're doing all the care, the fish is basically yours anyway, so maybe you could go buy a critter keeper for him. They come in several size, and you can get a 2.5 gallon very cheap (like around 10 bucks cheap) at wal-mart. How old is your brother, is he even old enough to do proper care on his own?


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## Kytkattin (May 15, 2011)

Have you told your parents that they are basically telling your brother it is okay to abuse animals? Not to mention that he is learning that animals are disposable. I am sure that they wouldn't really want to be teaching him these things, especially because cruelty to animals is one of the first signs of a sociopath/serial killer. I am not saying that he is going to go that way, but 20 years from now, who knows? Wouldn't it suck for them if they looked back and saw that they actually helped to enable that trait?
It seems like a real cop-out to me in that they have someone to _wants _to take care of the fish. They don't even have to do it themselves!
The good news is that he doesn't look thin. Bettas can go at least 2 weeks without food, and underfeeding is probably better since he will create less waste that he will then have to swim in until you get to clean it.


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

He is plenty old enough (11) and I show him proper tank cleaning,feeding,ect.evrrytime im over :/ nothing works!!  and ive said this to my parents..and they said I was being rude...and I told them they were being unreasonable.there considering letting me have the little guy..fingers crossed guys!!!


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

i think..even if i dont get him..he AT LEAST deserves the right to a name...:/


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## Silverfang (Mar 25, 2011)

I hope you can manage to get the poor boy, I know the poor unnamed boy is hoping you take him and keep him safe too.


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## betta89 (Sep 29, 2011)

give him candy or like 5-10 buck for the fish and see if that worrks
tell you parents dont ask them tell them if it dosent get the proper care it will die and your brother will alwase relly on others for taking kare of things he needs to lern responsability and put down the vidio games and take care of the fish i hope you luck


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

Me too  hes very docile..and he deserves a decent life, like any creature in this world...


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## betta lover1507 (Aug 6, 2011)

same thing here, TAKE HIM am being VERY serious right now soon since your brother dosen't care for him he will get highly aggressive and gain popeye, i have a HMPK boy named "oceanist" he was neglected from my little brother .... he was in complete darkness, barely ever fed, never had clean water. my dad had to pitch in here and there to help.
i took oceanist in, i cured his aggression, but not his eye, oceanist has popeye, it is to late to save his eye. he had it for months and am doing my best with out medication. i know he is going to lose his eye, but i rather that then his life. face your parents and say" i have to take the betta (what ever his name is ) because he will die with out care, your brother is not caring for him and he will get a diesease if i (you) don't do something because he (your brother) won't do anything", even if you tell your brother to start to care for him, ther is a high percentage that he will still neglect because younger kids have no responsibility. because even RIGHT NOW that boy is suffering and easily could catch not just Popeye any disease. face your parents or your brother. i just said (at first) to my mom/dad " it is ok can i hold on to (your) brother's betta for a little?" if they say yes take him into your room (or where ever you put your betta's at) and firstly feed him he must be hungry and clean the tank after he is done eating. if your brother give you problems say something like this " well, if *you* (your brother) consider it as YOUR fish how about caring for it, you do not see anything wrong now but VERY soon he WILL get sick and die, BECAUSE of your (your brother) neglecting ways" do not be nice what ever you do DON'T " HE WILL DIE, i (you) happen to take WAY better care of him then you (your brother), if he catch pop eye or any disease you on your own (your brother) because i tried and you don not seem to care at all for him and he suffers, would you like it someone didn't clean you poop? would you like starve and to be very weak? would you like to be very sick that there is nothing to help you? (place your brother as if he was the betta) because i (you) happen to CARE for him and HELP him live" sorry it is a bit long, hope you get the point. i take betta's very serious


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## BellasMomma (Oct 8, 2011)

why dont u just buy everything u can for the little guy set it all up, feed him everyday and do the water changes when needed and just let him stay with yer brother. if u cant get him at least u can give him a WAY better lifestyle. this way u both win. yer brother gets his fish and u have peace of mind knowing hes fed and cleaned.... if yer brother wont let u set up a different tank do it when hes gone, once he sees the nicely set up tank hes sure to like it...


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

actually..he wont let me :/ ive asked him..and if i sneak it..he will just change the tank back..i know it :/ for now..im just gonna watch the guy the best i can


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

the WHOLE situation is frustrating...>:/


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## erinandares (Oct 4, 2011)

He's stubborn, huh...? Maybe he just doesn't like the idea of being wrong about taking care of the fish? Like, when you bring it up to him he 1) doesn't like the idea of an "easy" pet taking more time than he originally thought, and 2) doesn't like the idea of someone else taking care of the little guy while he can't. I honestly don't see why he wouldn't let you buy the fish off him, though. He gets a few extra bucks and a responsibilty off his shoulders, which he obviously can't handle in the first place. Maybe a trade could be worked out? Or you can ask him to just doctor the fish back to health- making sure he knows it would be a temporary situation- so he can enjoy a more active, healthy fish? I agree that eleven is plenty old enough to be able to care for an animal, and if he can't accept help with it at that age, he probably can't have pets in the future because things will go similarly wrong. Sorry about how bad this sucks. ): I have two little sisters about that age. I don't live with them anymore, but that's exactly the thing they would do. I'm glad to hear my mom won't let them have any fish whenever they come over and look at my bettas and complain. :/


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

i asked him just early if i could buy it off him..and he said no..and went outside...:/ really? its MONEY he culd use to go buy games or something...i mean..i offered him 10 bucks! thats twice what the fish originally cost...:/


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## erinandares (Oct 4, 2011)

That's ridiculous. My sisters, if they had that fish in such poor condition, would be like "Sure, Erin, if the fish means that much to you, take it." And then go spend the money on lip gloss and gum. >.> I don't understand your brother. I'm sorry for how frustrating that has to be. D:


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

im crying over it, how childish Lol x.x


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## erinandares (Oct 4, 2011)

Aww! I'm sorreeee! :C Grr, I would take it and say the cat ate it........ >.> He's eleven, he goes to school sometime. Heheheh... Nahhh... I honestly don't have any other suggestions... D': Sorry, I'm no help.


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

hm...maybe...ill buy him a nice skateboard as a trade? i really dont have much money right now..but..the lil fish deserves anything i can do to save him!!!!


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## erinandares (Oct 4, 2011)

Oooh... If you're going to buy a nice skateboard, make sure you know he'll take it as a trade first. I would be *so* mad if I spent all that money and he didn't even take it as a trade. (Not that it's all about the money, but money is real tight for me, too. If I'm gonna spend it, I don't want to be wasting it, you know?)


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

i know he'd take a skateboard...hands down...


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## erinandares (Oct 4, 2011)

Then you might have a winning plan!


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## Pitluvs (Jun 22, 2011)

Yep, buy him a skateboard. He'll go out and get another fish, and you're back to square one. Not only is your parents teaching him its ok to abuse animals, but you'd be teaching him it's ok to use/blackmale people LOL

Just take care of him the best you can until your brother asks you to take him. If you keep asking him, he'll keep denying you because annoying you is worth more to him than this fishes life. Do the best you can in this situation, sadly we can't win every battle <3


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## Super Sly (Oct 19, 2011)

Hopefully things turn out to your favor my little cousins that live with me have some leapord geckos that are in the same situation. Every time i go upstairs i tell them that they are going to die if they dont start taking good care of them but they never seem to listen. I try to look out for all the animals we have in the house but this time i think they need to learn a lesson. Im sorry if it may sound mean but I think they need to.

Edit: I know my tn yr old little cousins woul definintly take a skateboard for trade sounds like a decent plan =)


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## BellasMomma (Oct 8, 2011)

i just dont understand these people that buy pets and then neglect them and as for parents buying for their kids, the parents have a responsiblity too, they need to make sure the kid is actually caring for the pet. its just people being lazy and lazy parenting. i would NEVER buy my daughter a pet and not be sure shes taking care of it. i guess it just comes down to morals.


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## purplemuffin (Aug 12, 2010)

Some people straight up don't know or have been taught as such. My mom was given guppies as a young girl and was taught by her mom that they were 'just fish' and just grew up with the mindset. No one was there to tell her wrong, and there wasn't really any fish info on the internet that you could just google. Those are the parents who buy their kids pets because they for instance think it's normal for a hermit crab to only live a few months, or for bettas to live in bowls,etc. because they were children and were given them as pets. It's the whole vicious cycle thing. They assume they know the truth, so why look it up?

Now that we know, we CAN change things and be the parents who will not give a kid a 'throw away pet'  and as we teach our friends who teach their kids, our kids can even help teach their friends and parents and their own future children etc. etc...


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## trilobite (May 18, 2011)

It seems to me that he isn't letting you have it because he knows you want the fish so much and are putting up a fuss (fair enough though) He probably thinks he has power over you and if I had power over my sisters I wouldnt give it away that easily.
Hmm if I were you I would rationalize with your parents but try not to get emotional (I know this can be hard, but facts tend to lose their value when emotions are brought into play)
Say that him having the betta is pointless since it is teaching him poor life lessons, then throw in some examples of how he is learning that if he doesn't want to do something then someone else will always do it for him.
Then go in to say something about hes not learning to be responsible bla bla bla...main factor here is to be mature and emotionless. 
Then do something to either 
a) make him think you dont want the fish anymore...his power over you is now useless.
b) give him a very good reason to give you the fish....(eg "hey! lets try and breed it...then we can sell the babies and buy awesome things") but of course the fish needs to be in your larger tank and you need to condition for a month (he doesn't know thats not the case ;-)) then procrastinate on getting the "right female" because that will give you the "most expensive babies" by then he would have forgotten and you will have a new fish in your tank.


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## BellasMomma (Oct 8, 2011)

purplemuffin said:


> Some people straight up don't know or have been taught as such. My mom was given guppies as a young girl and was taught by her mom that they were 'just fish' and just grew up with the mindset. No one was there to tell her wrong, and there wasn't really any fish info on the internet that you could just google. Those are the parents who buy their kids pets because they for instance think it's normal for a hermit crab to only live a few months, or for bettas to live in bowls,etc. because they were children and were given them as pets. It's the whole vicious cycle thing. They assume they know the truth, so why look it up?
> 
> Now that we know, we CAN change things and be the parents who will not give a kid a 'throw away pet'  and as we teach our friends who teach their kids, our kids can even help teach their friends and parents and their own future children etc. etc...


very well said.


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## Thesharpestlives (Oct 2, 2011)

Update : ive talked to my parents,but there not budgeing :/ for now..im jjust giving up...:/


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## xbecky685x (Sep 25, 2011)

No you cant give up! There must be something.. if you keep badgering them they might give in eventually!
So is your brother not letting you look after him even if he still keeps him in his room? 
Maybe you just need to keep sneaking in and feeding him.. check hes doing alright at least..
Such a frustratiing situation  

xx


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## purplemuffin (Aug 12, 2010)

No one likes sick bettas, there's a reason the majority of the population call them "boring"...they don't move around much.

Hopefully your brother will get bored of him when he realizes the fish is no longer playful and fun and just sits there. Hopefully he will give you the fish before it gets too sick.


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## Litlover11 (Aug 1, 2011)

I would try to find a book or article on Betta care that actually dispels the myths that your parents were taught. If it is authored by people who are professionals, your parents would be more likely to believe them than your little brother.


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## SnowySurface (Apr 25, 2011)

You are doing the right thing. Once you've done everything possible, you can't do anymore. If you buy a better set up, your brother will tear it apart. If you rescue it and move it to your room, your parents will take the fish away and put it back where it was. If you continue to help the fish, your brother will be able to hold it over your head as a source of power. 

You've stressed yourself over this for too long already. If your parents can't see that the way you take care of your fish is much better and more responsible than the way your bother "takes care of" his fish, then they are blind. No number of books, websites, or reasoning will get them to admit you are right at this point. Continue to to take care of your fish and let your brother's fish go for the sake of your own health. For now, just step back, don't clean the tank, and hope a dead fish will stop your parents from believing your brother over you. 

If they buy do buy him a second fish despite everything you've said, all future fish deaths are on your parents and brother. They have nothing to do with you. When the odds are this stacked against you, then you do have to surrender. I hate seeing sick fish, but I hate seeing people make themselves stressed or sick over another person's fish more.


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## Badjer (Oct 25, 2011)

I feel your pain...the other day, myself and my two brothers all were given small tanks. My youngest brother (he's 7) is an animal lover like myself and got two goldfish. He loves them to death already and will take amazing care of them with help from my mom and I. My other brother who is 12, is very irresponsible. Like me, he got a tank and divided it for two males. This isn't his first pet experience. He had a guinea pig once, but I ended up taking care of it and eventually we gave it away. That was about two years ago and today he doesn't even remember it's NAME. He also once had a bearded dragon. That got neglected, became food aggressive and eventually was given away too. My mom sort of has the "They're just fish" attitude. It's frustrating, I know. If my brother doesn't take care of his new pets, I plan on taking his tank with or without permission, and letting them live happily in my room. Don't give up! Persistence can pay off!

Also, my brother hasn't named his fish either. I told him he has two days to name them before I do it myself! Fish deserve names too...although if he names them after video games I swear...boys!


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## Bombalurina (Oct 10, 2011)

I dread to think of what this Bettafish.com generation's children are going to be like - our children will be holding seminars in kindergarten to lecture the other children on why their bowl is killing their goldfish and explaining to confused teachers that bettas are tropical.


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## erinandares (Oct 4, 2011)

Lol, Bombalurina. 

It's really sad this didn't work out, though. I think at this point, it is probably better to just let the lesson be a lesson for the three of them and to distance yourself as much as possible. It really sucks, though. I guess just don't beat yourself up over it. You tried.... D:


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## vaygirl (Sep 10, 2009)

I'm with Snowy. If you can manage some water changes and food, go for it, as long as it causes no issues for you. Do what you can but beyond that just let it go. Leave everything else alone. You did your best, tried your hardest and gave it your all. That's more important then the outcome sometimes. We can't control that.


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## Bombalurina (Oct 10, 2011)

If it's any consolation, I do know how you feel. My sister's goldfish, whilst not neglected to the extent your brother's poor fish is, does not get the water changes he desperately needs. My mother believes my sister needs to learn to do them herself, but she won't. Until she does, I'm not allowed to do them because it will encourage her to be lazy about it. The trouble is, the poor fish is suffering so my mother can make a point... 

I think the bottom line is, you have done all you can. All my sympathies to that poor fish, because he doesn't deserve such an owner, but you can't blame yourself at all, because you tried your best. If the fish understood such things, I'm sure he would be grateful for your support, at the very least.


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## Bellus Bellator (Oct 9, 2011)

Thesharpestlives: What I am about to suggest is not the smartest thing in the world. It will probably get you into a lot of trouble,quite possibly grounded but if you're willing to take the risk here's what I'd do if I were you(I was a rather rebellious teenager after all)
Just walk up to your parents,tell them that enough is enough and that you're taking matters into your own hands.Tell them that you are taking the fish,plain and simple.I know this is much easier said than done but everyone has to grow up sooner or later and I'm assuming that you're around 15 I'd say now is as good as any other time.
Tell them that you cannot watch this fish die,tell them that you've cried over the situation.You should use the argument that I gave my mum when my school was threatening to suspend me over my protesting against the iraq war(it's a long story) It goes like this.You raised me to be the best person that I can be.You raised me to use my conscience and intelligence,to be kind and thoughtful,and now that I have grown up and want to fight for the things that I believe to be right you want to punish me? Do you want me to be the kind of person who sees cruelty and injustice but does nothing? Do you want me to walk through life oblivious,caring for nothing or no one but myself?Well I'm sorry but I just can't do that.I can't watch something die and know that I did nothing,maybe you can but I can't.I'm taking the fish,you can stop me if you want but when it dies that'll be on your conscience not mine.When I gave my mum this speech(which I'll never forget,obviously not exactly the same but you get the idea)She went from furious monster to blubbering proud mother,she burst into tears and said she'd never been prouder.I don't know what your parents are like but I think all parents like to believe that they've raised someone who's kind and willing to fight for whats right.Truthfully it may not work but give it a shot.Sooner or later all children must make decisions for themselves and defy their parents,it's part of growing up.Phyc yourself up,take a deep breath,walk out there and be honest with them.At least this way you know you've done everything you could and your conscience is clear.Good luck!Pus you haven't done anything subversive like tricking or bribing your brother,you've been honest and up front about the whole thing.
P.s If they refuse then sadly I would suggest abandoning helping the fish.You have a point to prove.Better still save up,buy your own betta and show them how it's done,when they can see the difference between the two tanks they maybe more inclined to give it to you.I know this is crazy advice to give to someone so young but I believe kids need to be told that it's o.k to defy their parents when it's in the name of doing something that's right.
Be proud of yourself,you seem like a damn good kid.


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## Wolfboy51 (Oct 12, 2011)

Show ur stingy ignorant brother what we say about what he has been doing to the poor fish. What he is doi g isnt right and he shouldnt be given a fish.


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