# Shirley's Journal



## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I have no one in my life that is truly interested in my boring little events so I thought maybe that someone on here would be. I tell my family about my hobbies and they stare into space or I get an "uh huh". It makes you feel sad when your hobbies are boring to others but I understand that is why I have you guys. I am 25 and married since Feb of this year. I have lived in Ohio my whole life and have many hobbies like crafting and reading. I like to draw and paint. Obviously fish is a hobby. :-D

I am getting a Pleco rescue this weekend and his temp housing is now filled up and ready. All I have to do now is set up his filter and heater and get him a hiding place. I am very interested in how I am going to get this huge fish in a container to bring him home. I will get it though. I get him Saturday and Friday I am going to town to get him some goodies to eat and a cave for him. Hubby wants a huge ornament for him to hide in so their goes 40 bucks. lol. 

Wanda (female veil tail) is no longer a member of the sorority. I decided to make her my desk buddy and spoil her a little. She did well in the sorority but I have never seen her tail fully grown out in the 1+ years I have had her. I am happy to say her tail is growing and she is thriving with all of the spoiling. I gave her some baby brine shrimp and she made a fast game of that. She hunted them for a while. Poor tiny things. I lost my new dragon already within a week. I was a bit depressed by that. I was hoping he would survive in a 5 gallon with all amenities but he was too sick at the store I suppose. 

My ADF's have been upgraded to a 5 gallon tank. There are 2 of them along with my surviving solitary ghost shrimp. He's a beast. And my Moss ball Oscar, yess Sakura I named him ;-). They are now in a heated and filtered 5 gallon and much more active. My ignorance about them is sad. At least they are in a better situation now. Sigh. 

Yesterday I started Psychology 1 in college. My University focuses on one class at a time which I love. I am reading the Prologue and Chapter one right now and already learning some things about myself. I am too gullible and fear things to easily. :roll: Wonder what else I will learn about myself. Also for those of you who I haven't told this too. I have a goal of graduating college with all A's and B's. So far I have acheived that. I haven't received my grade for Accounting 1 yet so I am very interested in seeing the outcome of that class.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Psychology is right up my alley. That's what my degree is in. I loved it.


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## teeneythebetta (Apr 29, 2012)

Aww I'm so sorry about the loss of your dragon 

Aren't females the best? Gotta love those little girlies 
What part of Ohio do you live in? I'm from Fostoria, but moved down to Florida 5 years ago.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Teeney* I live near central Ohio. I love my girls. My fav is Patty, the one I "Saved" but she saved my sanity in the process. She is about the color of Teeney just a little darker. 

I love Psychology Dramaqueen. I actually took college psychology in High-school and this class is super exciting. I have a group project due and I am hoping all of my team members get involved. I had some problems with this in my last group assignment. I have a 21 slide powerpoint presentation due on Memory construction. Since I have no memory this should be fun XD 

My husband and I had a huge fight over his in ability to communicate important details to me. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and he didn't give me necessary details of our new insurance *rolls eyes* and my bassett is whining at me having an anxiety attack. Likely because she wants outside but we don't go out this late.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Severe storms today. Could be as severe as the June 30th storm. 70 plus mile an hour winds. I live in a mobile home so I am going to go to my moms. This should be a fun fight with my husband. He does not see the importance of prepairing for severe weather. He thinks nothing is severe. I don't think he has ever seen the things I have seen with mobile homes.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We're supposed go get storms,too but I don't know if they'll be severe. Don't stay in your mobile home if it gets bad. Stay safe, my friend.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks Dramaqueen. I have had a pretty rotten day though. Not just the storms either.
It started out when my husband had to work overtime which I hate sometimes. He gets home and we start arguing because he doesn't want to go to my moms because of the storms. He isn't afraid of storms and I would be much less fearful if it weren't for the mobile home thing. Well, he broke on it and we were on our way and the tire fell off of my van in the driveway. So we had to stay and get the van off the ground and secure. Husband hasn't slept in over 20 hours and I am tired too. I wen't over to my in-laws place because my baby bro-in-law is scared of storms to so we cuddled and watched thomas the train.  He kept me sane that sweet little boy. All is good in my area and we had minimal damage. Just some hail and lots off thunder. Plus side is I got a new recliner today and it's a massager.  

I just want to say thank you God the tire fell off in the driveway and not going 55 on the highway like I would have done. I may not be typing right now if God hadn't helped me out! Sucks it came off but I could be dead.


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## toad (Jul 17, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear about your dragon 

But, I LOVE that you named your moss ball!!! I call mine Clyde


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Something that green and bulbus has to have a name right? lol


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad you're ok and that the tire fell off when it did. Pretty scary. We got some rain and some thunder and lightning but that's pretty much it.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Wasn't as bad as they said it would be here. I think everyone is still freaked out by that Dereicho we had. Everytime there is a high possiblility of winds people freak out. My mom-in-law was over there screaming her head off in front of the little boy which is horrible. So he and I went and watched a movie and cuddled. He is so cute. My husband weighs 350 pounds and is all muscle mostly. He is very strong and I have seen him lift a shed and he lifted a car. He used to weight lift in competitions and won I think it was 2 or 3 in the state at 16 years old he is 29 and still hasn't lost any strength. I'm fat (249) and he can throw me. Anyway, he has a 5 year old brother who is now eating things like meat and potatoes because he said he has to be big and strong like his brother. He asked Jeff once if he was Hercules because he looks like him. lol

Things are improving today. We are going to get the parts to fix my van and my psychiatrist upped my dosage yesterday (haha) so I am doing a little better. Me and Jeff made up too. So today the plan is to force myself out into the storms and go shopping! Petsmart and walmart in particular. I get my new pleco tomorrow so I have to get him some yummy's to eat until his tank establishes some decent algae. I am going to keep him on a variety though to keep him healthy since his tank isn't going to be to small. I am doing a bare bottom so he will have an extra place for algae so it should work out okay for temporary housing. 

I need to think of a good name for this pleco. Since he is an "armored catfish" maybe a general? a tank?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

TANK! thats it!


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## toad (Jul 17, 2012)

Shirleythebetta said:


> TANK! thats it!


 
LOVE it! Please post pics of him when you bring him home


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Sure will I will post them right here.


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## teeneythebetta (Apr 29, 2012)

I'm glad to hear everyone is safe and damage is minimal.

My grandparents ride their bikes every morning on the sidewalk along a busy road... And this car was driving fairly fast, and the tire came off! It kept rolling and rolled straight at my grandparents! Somehow they managed to swerve and not get hit, but if they had I'm sure it wouldve severely injured them.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Tank is a cute name for your pleco. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I got him his food today. I got him some agae wafers and some shrimp pellets. I am going to get his heater and filter and aeration going tonight. This way its all clean and toasty when he gets here. Geez, ever since I gave wanda bbs she has been looking in between the rocks to find them. You ate them all!

Jeff is outside working on the van right now. I hope he gets it fixed. He felt so bad about yeterday he bought me a tablet.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

A Kindle?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Nope an Acer. I am hoping to set up wifi tonight and get that going. I am tickled.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My laptop is an Acer.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I like acer. I used to be all about the dells but acer has a nicer look to them I think. And this tablet is really cool. I will have wifi on it next week so it will be internet ready and I get to play play play! Tank comes home tomorrow. 

Psychology is going well too. I am enjoying it. I have my first group project due though but no group members reporting. I may be doing the presentation alone but I like that. At least everything will be done my way.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It seems to me that they shouldn't get credit for something they didn't participate in.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

They won't my school is very strict. I had this prob in a class I was in a couple months back. The leader didn't submit the assignment and never told us. They didn't answer my emails because I got us an extension and I got a hundred and did the work on my own they got an F


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Why do people sign up for a class, pay for it and not do the work?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

That is one of my biggest complaints. I don't understand what they are thinking I hear crap all the time about how they don't have the time for school. Then why join? "I have kids" is the most annoying excuse. We all have responsibilities in our life as well as a resposibility to educate it. If you can't do the work don't join. The worst are dropouts. They drop classes that are too hard for them. I use a hard class as a challenge and see how far I can push myself. I am not a quiter.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Okay guys, here's tank. He is a little pale and I had to add him faster than I would have liked to but he was in a five gallon bucket and was thrashing. he is about 10-11 inches. I hope he does okay. The next few days will tell.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Poor thing. I hope he gets along ok.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Here's a pic with "tude" I think he is a sailfin common pleco? Something like that. He got mad at me when I added his driftwood.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lol. Bad fishy.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

HEHE, He will fit right in in this house. I have a mini rant. My dad actually thinks bettas have stripes naturally. That they aren't stress stripes. He irritates me sometimes. Which is the whole reason I have this fella. I am happy to say Jeff has been watching him and he ate some shrimp pellets and some algae wafers. If I can get that dang heater to stay at the right temp he should be okay.


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## toad (Jul 17, 2012)

Aww he's cute! My parents had one when I was little; they got him when he was a baby and named him Zeus. Eventually, he got huge, and had to be rehomed  Good luck with him, he's awesome!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks I am very excited about him. He seems to be doing well so far. 

School is getting annoying again. I had a team member get ahold of me on friday about the group project and talk about how she can be contacted. I am not morphing my schedule to contact her. If she doesn't work with the group I will do it myself. She isn't special and I won't treat her as such. Email me or your not within my group range! the other two members haven't contacted me yet. Ahh well. 

Jeff and I just got into it again because of his sleepyness. He is a butt when he is tired. He got on me because the dogs are making to much noise. Are they my dogs? Nope they are our dogs. I am tired of being responsible for everything in this house. I am not the housewife type. I am not the cooker and cleaner type and never will be. He will have to deal with it. 

Update on the frogs upgrade. They seems to be doing well in the five gallon. The fat frog is everywhere in there. Only problem is I can't get the filter to work right so I am going to have to tweak that.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I wouldn't make a good housewife, either. Lol. I don't do much cooking and I hate cleaning. Lol I don't really mind vaccuuming and mopping but I hate dusting and I'm not about to get down on my knees to clean floors because I have bad knees.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Being a housewife makes me feel like a slave. I hate it with a passion. I just wish I could find a job that can work around school until I graduate in March. Thats the only difficulty. If I could at least get a job I could get out and get the heck away from my husband and my dogs! haha. I need to get out of school and make enough to hire a maid -_-


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## toad (Jul 17, 2012)

Haha... Glad your frogs are happy!

Some of us gals just aren't housewives. I can barely boil water! I can bake stuff, but that's because I love sweets. Can't cook to save my life. But I do clean a lot; I have to vacuum every day because the puppy sheds so much. Even with daily vacuuming, my vacuum canister is full of dog hair. Gross. And, I love my rats, but rat urine is particularly nasty, and they like to kick poo out of their litter boxes. *sigh* Bad girls.

I say don't worry about those people in your class! You're not in school to give THEM a good grade. Do your best, and get the best grade you can, and forget about them


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks Toad. I remember the rat poop kick too. I miss my rats. I would like to have another pair but man I already have an aquarium/dog rescue here. I had this one rat named Zues that had one albino eye and one black eye. She was all grey but she had a patch of white over the albino eye. Her mom was a fancy and her dad an albino. I miss her. 

The new tablet is a winner with hubby. He played need for speed for an hour on it which is weird for him. He doesn't like video games because of his wrist injury. He had his left hand 90% severed and was lucky to gain mobility back in it. He just can't move his fingers normaly and is very limited so controllers aren't his friend. With the tablet however there are no buttons. the car accelerates on his own so he is diggin' it. All he has to do is tilt the tablet to turn the car. It's a great invention for him. He can at least have a hobby. WIFI is supposed to get here UPS tomorrow or Tuesday so that should be cool. Oh and I got my deans list certificate last week. It got hung up today with a note from my dean sending me congrats on my sucess and prayers for my continued sucess. I thought that was really nice of her.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

You made the dean's list! Yay!! * jumps up and down and celebrates*


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

This is the third time! 2 more and I made it every semester. *cheers! woo woo woo!*


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well, I went to therapy today and that was very enlightening. I discussed with her why it seems that some people get an enflated ego when they go to college. I had a girl today that told the Professor she prayed we would let her educate us. Her meaning the student.

Tank is doing good. He seems to be getting confident in his tank all alone. He is flipping his dorsel up when I come near now which I love. I think he is going to do well. He gets his first partial water change and some gravel afterwards tomorrow. 

Me and my husband planned a trip to go to the conservatory so that should be fun. They have glass blowing demonstrations there and a butterfly house. We are both into entimology and horticulture (i think that's how they are spelled.) We are very boring 20 somethings. We don't drink or smoke and we like bugs and plants -_- ahh well, we like it. Gotta go feed everybody Wanda's giving me the stink eye.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It's easier to feed fish than people. Lol Yeah, I hate when people start this "well I have a degree in _____ so everyone should listen to me because I know it all ".


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I can't stand that attitude. I am working on my AA and she is working on her MBA. Plus she is a Pastor and they seem to forget they are supposed to educate in religion. This doesn't make them smarter than everyone in everything. That's why I don't go to church. We are all equal and we all have things we are smarter at than others. Some are mechanics, some are smarter in Math, Science or history. Doesn't make you better. 

I shouldn't say all but most Pastor's I know act like they are better than the "lower class" Can't stand that. 

Everybody has a full tummy :3


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Getting ready to clean Tank's tank. His first water change. After that I am going to watch the Olympic's at 8. Phelp's may be setting a metal record tonight. Had a bad day in school too, I am thinking about boycotting the group work and doing it on my own. I don't feel like being a team player right now. People suck. I hope I have enough money to buy me a new fish this week. Buying a new fish always perks me up.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I hate doing group things. I'd rather do stuff on my own. Buying a new fish always makes me feel better. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I hate doing group things to and if this woman keeps talking to me this way I am going to request to do it alone. 
Tank survived his first water change  Only thing is he will be without a heater tonight. I noticed his heater sparked when I touched it :O. Phelps won his 18th medal. He seemed mad that it wasn't a Gold though. He got the silver but barely missed the gold. whoops! He is going for 19 tonight which breaks the world record. I hope I am awake to see it.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I don't know if he made it or not. I watched some of the swimming but I was also on here and got distracted. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

He did it! He swam anchor in the relay and won so he broke the all time record for medals held. How neat. And the womens gymnastics team won the gold too. We won three more golds tonight and are tied with China for most medals won at 24. I like the Olympics can you tell?


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yes, I can tell. lol I watched the gymnastics, too and it was pretty exciting.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It was, it was neat to see how these little gals of the U.S. shook the rest up that much. I hate seeing these kids cry though. They work so hard. Psychology grades for week one are up. I got all A's last week so yay! My Professor is digging my work she said I just need to cite from the text more which is no big deal. I can do that. 
I got a tire for my van so now I need a rim and I should be back on the road again. LOOK OUT, betta's here I come!

My wifi isn't here yet though *sigh*


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad your van is fixed now. And yay for all A 's! You deserve to treat yourself to another betta. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Totally, lol. I have space for two *grins*


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I saw a pretty black and white one today.n*sigh* I would love to have gotten him.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Wow Black and white. That would be cool. I passes up a crowntail that was white with black and red speckles. I didn't have the room for him. I do now and he is probably dead. He had swim bladder and it was 3 weeks ago.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'd love to have a black and white one. My biggest wish is to have a red, white and blue one. I think Chard breeds red, white and blue ones.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

School is going well so far this week. I think I made the Professor mad because I emailed the rude woman and told her what I thought. I also vented on the Professor about it because the girl got no punishment. I don't care as long as she keeps giving me the grades I need and I keep performing the work. I have a paper due on Neuroscience this week. I love to write papers. 
I don't think I am going to be able to buy any fish this week and Sushi is dying. I don't have the money, we have to buy a rim for my van this week and pay rent on top of that. Ahh well, maybe I can talk my mom into buying me the fish this Saturday, she wants to go shopping when we go to visit. I'm getting ready to do a water change in the frog tank and clean since I did most of this weeks school work already and turned it in. I really hate cleaning.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I did a cleaning last night. I don't want to overdo with my hand.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

All I did was two loads of laundry -_- I wish I wasn't so lazy.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I slept until noon this morning. Makes my mom mad. She says why are you so tired? It's that medicine you're taking. I said I don't know but if I questioned you, you would get mad. Actually I read somewhere that Zoloft is supposed to give you energy.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It never did me. Zoloft made me tired and mad. Lorazapam makes me tired and mad. I asked my Psychiatrist why my meds make me mad he said it was because the pills make you un-inhibitied. You don't care so when someone makes you mad you tell them so. 

Got Tank a new heater and he tryed to eat me for it :/ This guys got 'tude. I need to get off my bum and clean my house instead of lay around. I just don't want to do anything since they upped my meds. I just want to sleep sleep and sleep.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I have so much I need to do but don't feel like doing it. My room needs cleaned, my steps need vaccuumed and my living room needs vaccuumed. My mom can't do it.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

My neice is ten.... she would clean my house for five dollars....


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well I got a refund check from school for my unused loans and since it was a large chunk of money it was put on hold for 10 days. So my van gets to wait until that goes through before it can be fixed.

Time warner cable sent my wifi to the wrong location so now I have to wait longer to play with my new tablet. They sent it to a store instead of me. 

Good news for Jeff. Their are rumours floating around that he may get a management position and he hasn't been there two years yet. I am very proud of him even though I wanted to smack him about it. He asked me how I would feel if he got that position with no schooling since I am going to school currently for a position like that. I said I think he would be a moron for not taking it for that reason and I would be proud of him. I am going to school to learn about Business. I am not so petty of a person that I would be jealous of my husband for getting a great position with his company. Sheesh. 

Sushi and Kermit (ADF) both died this week. I am having fish shopping withdraws now and I have to wait until the 15th. *stomps foot* I don't know what happened to the two of them but they were in seperate clean tanks. Sometimes this happens as we know. Tank is doing great with his new heater. His tank is almost cycled and he is starting to eat algae off the walls now so yay!

School is going better now. Me and the girl I was having issues with traded emails and got to know each other a little better so all is calm in Psychology land.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad you got things straightened out with that girl you had the issues with. Congrats on Jeff 's management position.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I hope he gets it and it isn't just talk. Yea I figure why despise her? I should get to know her. We are getting along for the project so that works out. 

I am so bored. *sings* Where are you wifi?!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Hey I'm on my tablet. Woooooooo


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yay!! How do you like it? Is it the same size as the Kindle?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I love it. I've already been reading a book. Lol. Its an Acer iconia 500 I think the screen is 10.1 or 10.4 ... its ten something!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It sounds like it's the size of an Ipad.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea something like that I see. What u were talking abt with the keyboard though it is strange.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

That keyboard was a pain in the hind end at first. I don't really care much for the auto correct. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Mine doesn't have the auto correct which is awesome. That is annoying. I have a feeling I am going to love this tablet more and more. I have been reading mostly but it's nice to have the freedom of wifi. I need to get a stand or a dock though. It isn't any fun to try and balance it on a pillow when I read. I never realized how many free books you can get though! How awesome. Even though most are dirty books... (hehe) it amazes me they let that be accessed so easy.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I need a case or cover for mine that will make it easier to hold. It hurts my hand. That's how I ended up with the inflamed tendons.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

This week we are discussing intelligence in Psychology and how we should or shouldn't measure it. 

We have severe storms supposed to hit it about 10 or so. I hope it's wrong Please pray my trailer holds together. Better yet, pray it isn't as bad as they are saying. I feel like I am waiting for something bad to happen because of this check I got. It's to good to be true and I keep waiting for something to take it away. My mom called to try and get info on those income based homes for us so I can stop freaking out when it storms. At least I won't freak out as bad anyways.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We got a sprinkle of rain here. I hope the storms miss you. Too bad you don't live in Indiana. I have a friend in Lawrenceburg who is disabled and lives in a really nice apartment for low income people. She has a nice sized bedroom and bathroom and a nice kitchen with an island and she has s small den. I thought about putting my name on the list.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It looks like is going to miss us for now


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It's looking kind of nasty up your way. I hope everything is ok.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It isn't to bad right now were I'm at I think it missed me. My prayers worked.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Good. I think they're missing us, too.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Okay me and Jeff went on our date and it was fantastic. We went to a plant conservatory and I had a good laugh. Jeff had his first vegitarian sandwich with a vinegrette salad. I am no vegan just to note the cafe there sold health food. Anyways, jeff's face reminded me of a two year old eating something bitter. 

At the conservatory we saw so many interesting plants. They also have a butterfly room and tons of glass artwork and glass blowing demo's. Lots of pics to follow.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Some glass art. the last pic is a glass ceiling.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Neat plants.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

And Butterfly's! I took the last pic for you Dramaqueen. :-D


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Last but certainly not least. They had an enormous Koi pond with minimal Koi! It wasn't sadly overstocked!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Oh my gosh, your pics are beautiful! I love the birds. Lol. Too bad Jeff didn't like his sandwich. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

the birds were pretty cool. They used to have a red one that talked but that was ten years ago. This was Jeff's first time to a conservatory of any type and he apparently didn't see the "botanic cafe" sign lol. My dad was cracking on him. We are hillbilly's so veganism is a no no in my world. I like my meat but I like my veggies too.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Another pic I liked of the koi pond.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

The moi pond is beautiful. It looks like it's pretty big.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It went all the way around the corner on the right. I was impressed there were only abt twelve fish. They were all large and healthy. I am used to seeing them fin to fin so to speak.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well I finally heard back from Fastenal. I have my second interview tomorrow at nine. Kind of stinks in a way because I am sick. I have been having chest pains, sneezing and mild coughing so I am going to look infectious tomorrow. Hope it doesn't scare them. Darn ragweed and hay allergies. Only downfall of living in the middle of nowhere. I will get my pills this weekend hopefully. I hope I can pull off a healthy look tomorrow!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Oh my gosh! I hope you feel well enough for your interview.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Had an interesting day. I took my little bro in law out and got him the Thomas engines he has been wanting, filled him up with chocolate and sent him home. My mother in law basically told me I was lazy since I don't have a job. 

On the plus side new fish! Four of them. Three boys and a girl. I named the girl Chrissy because her red fins are a Christmas red color and she has a stark white body. The boys aren't named yet. I got a red half moon that I think is going to turn out as a round tail, a white/yellowish veil tail and I got my first double tail. He is a double tail veil tail cellophane but he has red and purple spots in his tail. I'm going to take some pics after they relax for a while.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Oh and my mom in law thinks her daughter is going to get a state job just because someone puts in a good word for her. She thinks state jobs are fantastic. She is actually okay with her daughter drawing blood from criminals. If it were my kid I would be throwing a fit. And since when was a state job better than any other job?


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lazy? Since when is going to college lazy? You're working towards having a career for crying out loud.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

She has a GED so she never completed highschool anyways. She doesn't get it. Without completing highschool you don't really know how much work actually happens with school. It's mentally and physically taxing. Only people who have been students get that. Using your mind so much does affect the body and can make you tired. I sleep sometimes for 12 hours after rough weeks. I have to write two papers this week that are due my by Monday at Midnight. They are a reflective journal which you as a Psychology student know is tricky, and a paper on emotion and culture. Both of these papers have to be APA formatted which is tricky without having to write a 2 papers, both 2 pages long on your reflections and how different cultures process different emotions. I highly doubt she could pull that off. 

This is the same woman who was so dense to believe her daughter went to college. Her daughter went to a 6 week Phlebotomy class. She isn't even a nurse. College isn't 6 weeks long and it certainly doesn't cost 600 dollars, sounds like her college was secretly a trade school right? She judges people before she even knows what is going on. I would love to have a little part time job but I have to have the correct hours to be able to keep up with school. That is my priority as a full time student. She doesn't get it no matter how many times we tell her. My husband asked me to stay out of work while I am in school. He wanted to ensure that my GPA stayed high since most applications ask for your GPA average. We aren't hurting for money. If we were I would be working any job that comes along. She is so clueless about the world of education and work. She has a ton of ignorance about basic life skills anyways. She can't even pronounce common words correctly. Words that a fourth grader could speak with ease. I am so glad her son is intelligent because the women in this family have issues. My husband is book smart as well as a certified deisel mechanic and he is getting ready to go to electrical school when I graduate. His idea of me staying out of work was a blessing and worked beautifully. My average GPA bounces between 3.6 and 3.7 and I have all A's and B's in my classes. He is a good husband and very supportive. He must take after his dad. His dad was smart and a hard worker. I am so glad he doesn't take after his mother.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

She sounds like this neighbor of mine who likes people to think she's highly educated. She cantpronounce words, can't remember neighbors ' names. We had this one neighbor whose last name was Whitehead and she kept saying Whitehouse. Lol. Then she told someone that she had a degree in education and she told us a long time ago that she only went one year. Yeah, some people don't get how demanding college is. I think it's great that your husband toldyou to just put all your focus and energy into school. You're doing wonderfully. Keep up the good work and don't listen to that old bag


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm not going to I told him honestly that I don't like her. I will still be kind to her for my husbands sake. Marriage doesn't mean I have to like her. Anybody who thinks trade school is college can't be all there anyways.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

new pics. New guy with no name. He's a double veil. Seems pretty young.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Next is a little gal I named Chrissy. She was Christmas snow white and Red crowntail but I think she is going to turn in to a cambodian. Couldn't get decent pics of her though she is very little.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Another unamed boy veil.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

And the last one also unamed.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Here's two of some boys I have had for a while. The red crowntail is Pyro and the coppor plakat is Nero.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Pretty fishies!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm watching the movie 500 days of summer. It gets my vote for most boring movie of the year. I'm bored Jeff's out fishing


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Did he catch anything?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Nope not a thing. It was to hot for catfish anyway. They like cooler water. I grew up fishing but.You know how it is. You cant tell a man about what he thinks he knows.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Haha, very true. They think they know everything. My brother is like that.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*New Toys*

Well I have had an eventful weekend. This is my last week in Psychology. It ends Monday at midnight then I start my Management Principles class. I tell you though. Even with all the issues God is good. I got my refund check right on time. We spent about a thousand on ourselves and our house bills and other things we needed for the house. This weekend our air conditioner broke and we have to pay an HVAC guy 2 or 300 to fix it. 

We also got some new living room furniture (YAY) Coming tomorrow so after school tonight I have to clean my living room. I won't have any sleep tomorrow but no sleep means a cold house and new furniture(YAY) I am happy. 

I got some new toys too. I got a marineland 19 gallon high... really high tank for 19 dollars at an antique mall. Dimensions are 23hx10wx19L I think I am going to make it a guppy tank. This tank looks almost brand new. I also went to a thrift store and got myelf a new pet spider. The only kind of spider I like... stuffed. He is going to be my desk buddy. I named him Homer. He just looks like a Homer to me. 

Oh and Jeff made a funny to tick off his mom. I am sure anyone that knows me on here knows how mad I got when my Mother-In-Law called trade school college when her daughter went for a 6 week course. Well Jeff decided to be a smarty and went to his moms house. Before this happened Jeff and I talked and I talked him in to an Associates Degree in Industrial Electric rather than him taking just a career diploma in Residential Electric. Anyways, he went to his moms house to show off the new gun I got him. They got on to the subject of his education and he said, "Well Mom, I decided that I am not going to be like the rest of our family and get a career diploma" she says, "Your not?" and he says "yea I am going to go to college and get a real degree" right in front of his sister. He said his mom acted like she didn't even give a crap. I told him thats because he isn't his sister. She only cares about what her ignorant daughter does not her intelligent son. I told him today the reason she doesn't like me is because he isn't dependant on her. She isn't happy unless people depend on her. When he and I first got together he was always oweing her money and she did everything. Now that he is a man she stays away from him and me and frankly I don't care anymore. A mother is supposed to want her kids to take care of themselves not keep them dependent. 

She is going to really be seething when she finds out we aren't relying on her to fix our AC. Also Jeff found out his dad's headstone hasn't been payed off yet and 200 is still owed. I told him I was sick of them taking their time to pay it. Jeff and I already payed about 250 or something on it so we are paying it off friday. Get this, his grandfather died in 1995. This man had 8 children and we found out last year he is still in an unmarked grave. So after his dad is done we are buying him a headstone too. His family is aweful sometimes. 8 kids and they couldn't divide the cost of a headstone? The cemetery he is in only takes flat ones which only cost a couple hundred. It's horrible. oh these people. 

Below is a pic of my new tank and Homer. LOL. He totally brightens my mood.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

P.s. Homer is sitting on my Psychology book. Helping me no doubt. Wonder why I am in therapy..... :/


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lol. Good for Jeff. I like Homer and your new tank. My mom's brother's grave is unmarked. He wanted to be put in a mausoleum but his ex wife sold it and buried him instead. This happeneb back in the mid 70s.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

People are terrible. When someone dies they deserve to get their last wishes. Here's a good story. My grandma told my dad when she was on her death bed not to let his sister bury her in a dress. She was a tom boy and hated dresses. Only wore them to weddings. Well my grandma knew her daughter and she flat out told my dad (who was the oldest) that his mom was getting burried in a dress and he wasn't saying anything about it. He took the dress she picked outside and burned it! She got burried in her favorite pant suit :lol:


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lol. Good for her. With my family it's all about money. My cousin just had a big 21st birthday party for her youngest son and and we didn't get invited which is fine because they had it in a bar anyway. They posted about it on FB and I responded by saying I'm sorry I missed it. I guess my in citation got lost in the mail.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> Lol. Good for her. With my family it's all about money. My cousin just had a big 21st birthday party for her youngest son and and we didn't get invited which is fine because they had it in a bar anyway. They posted about it on FB and I responded by saying I'm sorry I missed it. I guess my in citation got lost in the mail.


lol, gotta love that. I don't blame you on the bar thing. When Jeff quite drinking 4 years ago we vowed not to set foot in a bar again. It's nothing but a place of desperation and filth. We went to a bar together and a guy put his arm around me. I threatened to break it off and stick it in a special place if he ever touched me again. lol. I don't drink and I don't like drinking. My grandfather was an alchoholic. It's such a pathetic way of life. My in-laws for instance can't do anything without drinking. It's like there is no fun in the world without alchohol. I prefer not to smoke and drink. Why screw up healthy lungs and livers?

And whats with the whole 21 as a right of passage? Is it really okay to promote a binge drinking problem? I was at WORK on my 21st.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My dad was an alcoholic so I know what you mean. That's what killed him. Oh, my cousin, same one, had a party for her daughter when she turned 21 and hired a stripper !!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

that's disgusting. If I want a man to dance for me I will ask my husband. lol. was that TMI? I couldn't imagine hiring a stripper for my kid. Talk about screwing up their minds. ew.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My cousin was a terrible mother. She never wanted to ask her kids about their grades in school. She thought it was none of her business.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Speaking of terrible mothers my sis in law is pregnant. She is such an idiot. I hope they don't expect me to hoot and holler with them about this because I won't. I am an honest person and I won't pretend to be happy about something I am not happy about. I won't be rude of course but all they are getting from me is uh huh on all of it. I can always blame it on my anxiety pills those sedate me enough. 

I got my new furniture though (YAY) and got my new computer paid off. I also got to rent a rug doctor and clean my carpets. It's really gross how much dirt those things pull out. I also got everything I need to get my new 19 together except an arm extension :/


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We just got back from Home Depot after buying a toilet. It should be installed Friday at the earliest.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

YAY for new potties. BTW so proud of you for being a DIY woman! That is awesome. I'll post some pics of the new living room soon. I have to get my new t.v. stand and desk this weekend. Tee hee. I love living room makeovers.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I can't wait to see your new furniture!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Here's what I have done so far.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

The couch has built in recliners.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well my ignorant sis in law is 8 weeks pregnant. The idiot. I am really upset by it because they expect me to be all happy. I am not happy nor should I pretend to be. It isn't a genuine emotion I feel at this time because I know what is going to happen. She is going to lose everything and their mom is going to expect my husband to help her keep it all. I will not stand by and allow my financial situation to slip because his sister knowingly took fertility drugs and got pregnant. The little twit is sitting at her moms right now barfing from morning sickness and mad because she is barfing. Stupid.

I also can't wait until the baby shower when I have a hundred strangers ask me when I am going to have a baby. I am going to have to come up with a smart response like, "when my me and my husband reach our educational goals and have a place to live other than a rickity trailer with no heat in the winter"


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Love the furniture..and the Autumn table is so pretty!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks I am pretty proud of it. Got some great deals on the furniture. about 1200 hundred total. The rugs and the autumn themed table was around 50 dollars all together. The carpet cleaning with the cleaner included cleaned two rooms with half a bottle left over for 45 dollars. I am a DIY gal. It's more satisfying that way I think.


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## Bettanewbie60 (Jun 26, 2012)

Shirleythebetta said:


> Thanks I am pretty proud of it. Got some great deals on the furniture. about 1200 hundred total. The rugs and the autumn themed table was around 50 dollars all together. The carpet cleaning with the cleaner included cleaned two rooms with half a bottle left over for 45 dollars. I am a DIY gal. It's more satisfying that way I think.


I agree totally! Aaron's is taking my living room furniture tomorrow :-(, but hubby was out of work for like 3 weeks, and we were blessed to have it for a while anyway. At least with Aaron's we can take up where we left off on the contract...I'm thinking a lot of yard sales coming up..thank goodness I kept my old ratty chair lol!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It's hard I know. Yard sales rock though. When you look around at them try to see furniture for what it can be not what it is currently. One of my fish chemical shelves was something I got off the side of the road for free and I love it. My house has a lot of cowboy and indian stuff when I am not decorating for the seasons of course and the beat up wood on the shelf fits perfectly with all of that. Remember if you don't like what it looks like a can of stain or spray paint can turn it in to something you love. And also people at yard sales love to haggle. If you can talk to them enough you can get them down on their prices. My new fish tank had a forty dollar sticker at an antique mall and we got it for 19 after we hagled. For 45 dollars we came out of that place with a 19 gallon fish tank a set of socket wrenches and a fishing pole. I like to talk people down on prices. I got a dish set I wanted at a thrift store for 10 bucks off the original price because my husband boxed it his self.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Everything looks very nice. I love your fall decorated table. As for your sister in law, they shouldn't expect you and your husband to bail them out of their financial problems. There is nothing wrong with telling people that you don't wa t to start a family until you you feel that you're financially ready and have reached your educational goals. And if you and your husband choose to never have kids it's no one 's business but yours and your husband's.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

People around here think you are an old maid if you don't have kids at ninteen. My mother in law tryed to convince Jeff he needed to break up with me a few years ago because he was getting to old to wait for me to be ready. He was twenty seven. 

We may have kids one day who knows. right now we want degrees. If we both end up with careers we may never have kids. They would complicate that. 
I think there is something wrong with me though. Things that should make me feel emotion don't. I should feel something for this baby and I don't. I didn't cry when my grandparents died either. But stupid things will affect me. I've always been this way from what I remember. I'm emotionally stunted


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It might be your medication. I hate people who try to run your life. It's your life and your decision.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea she is a horrible person. She can't be proud of Jeff for anything good he does. He is getting ready to move to a higher paid position in his job, he is going to go to college in January, we have a nice little home. The one she is proud of is the girl who goes to trade school, doesn't work on her house because as she puts it, "that's a mans job" and lays around and sleeps all day.

I am going to talk to my psychiatrist about my feelings. They don't match anxiety and such. Anxious people are supposed to be overly emotional. I am dead inside for things that should be happy occasions. I should be happy to get another neice or nephew to spoil. 

I do hope she has a boy though. I have 5 neices and only two nephews I need some boys. A girl would be okay too though since the girls are all grown up. The girls are 18, 15, 14, 11, and 6. At least my Kloe is still young. Sigh... My nephews are 8 and 11. I think I need a little boy to play with. I just wish she would have waited. I worry about the house she lives in having no heat and her being pregnant. 

She will be due in March and it's still cold then. She makes just above minimum wage and her work is talking about laying her off now that she is pregnant. She works at an old folks home so she has to lift people. Her husband only makes 9.25 an hour so yea. A baby on purpose right now is pretty stupid. Not to mention they only have one car and it's a premium gas thing that they are paying 7 grand on and they put about 3 grand in repairs on it already. The only word that comes to mind is stupid.

Here's a funny one for ya. My brother and my mother in law have their birthday at the end of March. The baby is due at the end of March and I graduate at the end of March! What a busy time.

On a happier note I decided I am going to take a year off of school after my associates and go for my MBA. I really want that Master's degree. I want it so bad I can taste it. Oh and I got my grades back from Psychology and they say A A A A A A A A A.... LOL I am so happy I was able to do so well in such a hard course.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Wow!! Congrats on your grades!! I'm very proud of you!What is your degree in? Will Jeff go to school while you take the year off?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I will be getting my associates in business management. I will still be in school for two months when he goes. He starts in January and I will graduate in march. I am so excited about those grades. neuroscience was a challenge though. That was my b. I'm surprised my paper came out that well


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Those are definitely grades to be proud of.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

LOL I made such a goofy mistake. I got everything I needed for my new fish tank and put it all together. Couldn't add any water though. I forgot the gang valve for the airline hose. My luck the electric would go out and it would siphon into my air pump. :-? I always get the valve but I thought I had one. I don't! 

Also may be paying off my father-in-laws headstone today. My mommy in law says she has half of the money. Now that princess perfect over there is pregnant that money is probably gone already to her bills. I don't care. I will have the satisfaction of paying it off for him and in heaven he will see that. What's really funny is I am forced to do a godly thing here:lol: They don't know I got that fat check from the government. My family knows but they aren't money hungry. Pretty bad Jeff says, "don't tell my family about that check" as soon as he saw how much it was for. He said they would be trying to get cash off us all the time. I said they don't need to know anyways. It's a loan I have to pay back so I can't give it out like party favors. My poor brother though asked me for a loan and I had to tell him no for my grandmother. She believed that giving people money would ultimately kill their values and not help them in the long run. I agree with her. Look at my sis in law as an example. They will never know I payed it off. My husband will get the credit but that's okay. If anyone deserves credit he does for muscling me through college anyways right?!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Did you find Neuroscience difficult Dramaqueen?


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I didn't take neuroscience but I had a class called physiological psychology, which was about the brain and behavior. I still have my books. They're so outdated but I hate to get rid of them.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I think I am going to keep my textbooks too. I don't know if it makes me a nerd or not but I have read textbooks for fun before. I like to learn new things and these classes don't teach you the whole book.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I need to look through some of mine and relearn some stuff I forgot. Lol. A lot of stuff in my abnormal psychology book is outdated, though. I don't ever remember learning that there are two types of bipolar disorder for example.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

really? I didn't know that either. lol.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yeah, that's what I've been hearing then I read it on Webmd.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Today has had an interesting turn of events. My Mommy in law is refusing to go in to the delivery room with my sis in law. My husband won't go in with her because of the creepyness of seeing his sisters private area. Their step dad is obviously out and her husband is a maybe to be in there. I am going to have to be in there to coach her through her delivery. As stupid as I think she is I won't let her go in there alone. The only problem is she is due the week of my graduation. I would have to miss it if I had to because I won't let someone I love give birth to their first child alone because everyone else is too chicken. I tell you this family is pathetic.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Oh, for crying out loud. Her husband ought to be in there with her. Your husband doesn't need to be in there. I wouldn't want my brother in the delivery room with me and he wouldn't want to be in there. They sound like a bunch of crybabies.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Bunch of sissy's. I wouldn't want my brother in there with me either but she is trying so desperatly to get a blood relative to be beside her. If my husband refused I would do the same thing. They are a bunch of sissy's. It's a beautiful precious nasty gory part of nature! LOL. I have seen plenty of nudity in my caregiver career and like I told her. After seeing a 102 year old woman naked her body won't even register in my head.

When and if I have a kid Jeff will be there and only Jeff. That is a special moment that should be shared with your spouse. I can't let her go alone though. I really think reality is sinking in. Their little brother helps with that too. She babysat him today and he won't listen to her for anything. He listens to us though. She is catching on that she doesn't have the maternal instincts she thinks she does. I swear to you, once we went to this resteraunt. The owner was a friend of the family and had a brand new infant. She asked my sis in law is she could feed him and she didn't know how!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

That sounds like my cousin's daughter when she had her first child. She had just had the baby and they brought it in to her. Later the nurse comes back and asks if she fed the baby. My cousin's daughter says I didn't know I was supposed to. She was 24 at the time. It's not a doll, it's a living being!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea she's a dope. She isn't as smart with kids as she thinks. The thing that drives me crazy the most is the cursing her and her hubby cuss each other in fro t of his son.

I got two new girls today. A solid red and a girl that's got blue and purple and red fins. I got to see my eleven year old cousin today and I am so proud of her. She started drawing like me  and she is very good at it.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yeah I hate people who cuss in front of their kids. I got a new plakat today, too.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yay new fishys  tee hee


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Unfortunately, I couldn't sneak him past my mom. lol She was in the hall doing laundry so I couldn't get by her to go upstairs. lol So I left him on the bar in the dining room thinking my mom would finish the laundry and take a nap. I was trying to figure out what to do when she asked me if I got a new fish. I hesitated then said yes. she didn't say anything, she just asked me how many I had. I told her 11. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Had a weird day. My mother in law told me she loved me. She said she was glad Jeff and I have good heads on our shoulders and we aren't naive. It was a little scary...


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Wow! Maybe she's coming to her senses? Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I was frightened I think she's been replaced by an alien.  we will see how long it lasts. I got my new tank set up will have to get pics this weekend. My mom borrowed my camera


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I can't wait to see pics!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Ted's hanging out beside his heater and loving life so far. I have him as my new desk buddy now that Wanda healed from her sorority tank battle wounds. He is turning into a flat blue color with pink fins. He looks like he is a copper. 

The new 19h tank I set up is staring at me. Speaking to me saying, "Fill me, FILL ME!" but I have to wait on Jeff's little bro. He will be upset if we get any fish without him. He is in school so we see him on weekends. Started Kindergarten this year. 

I started a new class last week, don't know if I mentioned it. It's Management Principles. My classes are getting harder and harder and so are the Professors. After this class only 5 more to go though. I am going to take a year off and go back for my Bachelor's though. Jeff talked me into it. He wants to say he is married to a Master LOL he cracks me up sometimes. After I get my MBA I want to get an Associates in something that is fun as a gift to myself. I am leaning toward Etomology, Horticulture or Marine Biology, maybe Literature will be an option too. I am a nerd that dreams big and I am proud of it.

Sis in law finds out how the baby is doing on the tenth. I hope it's okay. No matter how much I don't want her to have a kid I hope it's healthy. She is so backward. With how crappy her trailer is she said she doesn't want to move into ours that we are refinishing. We are going to move into a house soon hopefully and we were going to let her live in the trailer. It's heated and very beautiful. Central air and heat, two full bathrooms, A garden tub and three bedrooms. Beggers can't be choosers. Our's at least will keep the baby from freezing to death. Not to mention it has a huge backyard, brand new wiring, a huge driveway and a shed.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

She'd be crazy to not take it. It sounds very nice and comfortable.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

New paint and carpeting too. She just wants to be stubborn because it isn't a house. She can't afford a house.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It's supposed to storm here later tonight. Are you supposed to get it, too?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yep its just outside my county right now. Calling for severe til around midnight then rain til five or so in the morning


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Just had a funny mom moment. I texted her abt my new Sherpa blankets and she says oh those are pretty dogs. She thought I bought blankets made of sharpai dog fur...


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Oh my gosh! That sounds like something my mom would say.lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Moms are funny.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

lol Yeah they are.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well, I'm sick again. And of course I get no help with the house work. It figures I married a piggy. I found dirty socks behind his recliner. Just what you need to find when your sick to your stomach and your throat hurts. Oh but when he catches it he will be laying out dead. LOL. Men can be big baby's when they are sick. The world doesn't stop moving because you are ill. 

I am currently looking around at my house wondering if I can talk my neice into doing my dishes for a couple of dollars (I don't think it will work) and reading my latest textbook chapter. I am trying to focus but it isn't working with a sore throat.

Plus side to this week is Jeff built the door on my laundry room for me like I wanted. I wanted a little room to keep my boy dogs in at night so I can keep them off my furniture. I am tired of my house smelling like dirty dog. Snoop got into the trash again and got chewing gum in my rug. Ughh. and people wonder why I am unsure about having kids. This is why.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm sorry you're sick. I hope you feel better soon.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

OMG my basset is hilarious. All is silent here in the house and I am watching The Big Bang Theory show on DVD. I got to the part where Leonard sings "I said You don't know me..." and my bassett howled in her sleep.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Rofl. I bet that was funny to witness. Too bad you didn't get that on video. It might have won something on America's funniest home videos. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Sure gave me the good laugh out loud I needed. Well drama queen. You will be glad to know I have decided where to go with my education. I'm going all the way to the top. Its going to take twenty years but I will get there. I'm in my AA now I'm gonna get my MBA then my MM then I'm going to go for my doctorate in business. I think I'm gonna go ahead and do my GMAT test early though. You'll have a friend with a PhD one day... in 15 to 20 years


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

That is fantastic!! Go for it!! You can do it!!!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Got a new pa man frog today. Im excited but I have to give him a good name. He is cute round and fat like me  I have a busy weekend in school two team projects and a paper due. This professor is cool but a little to opinionated for me. He isn't very encouraging of free expression. 

I have been sick for a week. Haven't done anything but lay on the couch. The house is a mess. Glad to see the place would fall down if god forbid I have surgery.:lol:


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Oh and peeved at my pet smart. Every time I enter I see at least two community tanks with ick. Never buying fish there again. I'm getting my fish at jacks aquarium. I never have seen a sick fish there and they quickly remove dead ones. Got marble mollies from them they are gorgeous


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I saw 4 dead bettas at my Petsmart the other day. I took them in the back where the employees work and told an employee.


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## toad (Jul 17, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> I saw 4 dead bettas at my Petsmart the other day. I took them in the back where the employees work and told an employee.



I do that whenever I find dead bettas in a store; the uncaring attitude of the employees always irritates me :-? It's like you've handed them a broken coffee mug, not an animal.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My Petsmart employees always act embarrassed when I do that. And they should be embarrassed.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I am now anti petsmart. Jacks here has better looking bettas too. I have a hard time keeping petsmarts bettas alive more than a month. Funny thing is my oldest is a walmart betta. 

I got a pacman frog as a gift from Jeff a couple days ago. I am proud to say he is active and eating and lovely as he could be. Jeff named him Beans. :-D and the spider is a neat looking critter I found outside. As long as he stays outside we will get along. :lol:


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

That slider is nasty looking. Lol. What do you feed your pac man frog?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Right now he is eating live crickets. I got some cricket food and a critter keeper thing to put them in. I also have been feeding him meal worms. I am going to get him some wax worms this weekend. My last one loved those. My last pacman frog got robbed from me. My ex took him when we broke up because he paid for him. I was missing my froggy real bad so Jeff went out and bought me Beans. I am so tickled. Jeff is a doll. He said "Beans is a gift so nobody is going to take him away from you," and he kissed me. He had been hearing about my old pacman Hopper for five years. I was so upset when he took him from me. I loved that frog to death. He ended up killing him since he didn't know how to take care of him from what I know. But now I have Bean's, a gift out of love.

That spider made my skin crawl but he was too neat. Icky neat


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yeah that spider is pretty gross looking. I wonder what kind it is. That was so nice of Jeff to get Beans for you.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I think it's a garden spider. He was attatched to my house so idk We get them a lot out here since we are pretty much acres of grass surrounded by trees. We get lots of widows and recluses too. I have probably seen a dozen types of spiders around this place. daw! I didn't write about the Northern leopard frog I found in my parent's backyard last weekend. It was a female and she was about 5 inches long. She was huge! When they croak they sound like a cat purring.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We get spiders here occasionally but I've never seen anything like that. Who knows what we'll have in Texas. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Blek I don't want to think abt spiders from the state were everything is bigger.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lol.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm a little mad right now. I wish I was heartless. My ignorant mother-in-law is at it again. She gave jeff a van about a year ago and has borrowed it three times in that time frame because she is too ignorant to buy another vehicle. Her daughter is off of work right now so I don't get why she keeps borrowing the van. I have three thousand dollars left in my account and I am getting myself a car. I am tired of being stranded because mommy needs a ride and should have kept that van. I don't know why she does this stuff. She gives people things and takes them back. I am so sick of her crap and I don't know how much more I am going to take before a blow up on her yet again.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

She sounds like she has issues. If you get a car she'll probably want to use it, too.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea but this way I can tell her no without hubby feeling guilty. My name my rules! LOL. He ended up telling her no anyways. He is getting tired of her always wanting to borrow vehicles off of us anyways. She works at food pantries so she hauls heavy stuff and he is sick of wear and tear on our cars. Especially since his sister is off work for her pregnancy and sleeping all day. She borrowed my stuff twice so it's time for preggo to take care of her moms issues.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Exactly. She can get off her butt and help her mom.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yep, lol she's been driving her mom around all day. Love it!
Went to an antique shop and got some good deals. I got a stenographers notebook from the 1910s and a hand wrote recipe book from 1944. Best thing I got was two my buddy dolls! One was a 1985 I got for ten bucks and the other was a 1993 I got for five. They are online for much more the older one is considered rare. Sweet!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Sounds like you got some great deals.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Not having a bad day but not a good day either. Had a nice looking sebring I wanted to buy and the guy that owns it can't find the title so thats put on hold. I have a few other options for hubby to look at. I lost two more petsmart bettas. What's new about that huh? and I left my charger for my tablet at my mothers. My tablet is one of the only things that controls my anxiety anymore so I am of course nervous because of it. Anxiety so sucks. Especially when people don't have it say something like, "just calm down" like it's that easy. It's not people.

Thankfully my twenty gallon tall is fully cycled and cleared up.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My mom is one of those "just calm down' people. No, you can't just calm down. I know when I was having bad anxiety the more I TRIED to calm down and stop thinking about things the worse it got. Maybe try some deep breathing and watch your fish for awhile.
I'm wondering about the Petsmart bettas, too. I lost Gwenny, Molly and Panda all within a month. I guess they're getting bad batches of fish right now.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

They must be I had those two for a short time. People who havent experienced anxiety have no idea what it is like. It feels like a heart attack. Your chest starts hurting, your hands and feet tingle, you can't breath. It can be pretty scary. As I have gotten older I have gotten better at controling it. Maybe I'm just getting used to it. My mom is going to try to get my dad to bring me the cord.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My anxiety caused me to shake. My hands would shake so bad. I never felt like I was having a heart attack but I felt like I was going crazy.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I hate that others experience it but it's still nice that someone somewhere understands.

My mother-in-law called but I didn't pick up. I am not in the mood to hear her latest drama issues. I'm getting ready to clean some tanks while staring at my new marble sword tail molly's.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My mother drives me crazy. She talks when I'm talking and that aggravates the crap out of me. Then when I'm in the kitchen fixing dinner she hollers for me to take the world atlas she got out back into the Tv room. Grr. I can only do one thing at a time. And another thing, our kitchen is so small that it's hard to have more than one person at a time in there. She's in there trying to take her shot and I'm trying to fix dinner a d it's enough to drive me nuts. Sometimes little things just set me off. Is there a name for how I'm feeling? Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It's called just plan annoyed syndrome!

I just had an interesting conversation with my sister-in-law. I finally told her how I feel about her getting pregnant. I told her I wanted her to have a baby with another man instead of her husband all along and I didn't want to tell her or hurt her feelings. She is starting to understand why I feel that way about him though. He told her that the baby wasn't his and that she was too lazy. They are moving and he told her he isn't packing anything. She is high risk pregnant. I think he is trying to make her miscarry. He told me and my husband along time ago he didn't want another kid. I had to be a little mean in a way to her about one thing. She says she can raise the kid all alone and didn't need him. I told her it wasn't fair of her to get pregnant like that because kids need a mom and a dad for an ideal childhood. I told her she should have picked a better fathe. She said that she didnt care because my husband will handle all the "dad stuff" I told her no he wouldn't because I will not let him raise a child that isn't his. He will be it's uncle and that's final. He is not going to raise her baby. I am starting to wonder if she is harboring some sick feelings for hubby because he has been the one to raise her basically. She even yelled at her husband once and told him "I should have married my brother!" because her husband wouldn't do something for her. She wishes she had a man like him that is a hard worker and loyal. I am really wondering if sister isn't a sicko and doesn't realize it.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

OMG. She definitely has some problems. She would be better off without her husband but you're right, kids should have two parents. I was lucky to have two parents until I started college anyway.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Here is a pic of tank in his... welll... tank. LOL. He looks a little demonic since the lighting and my camera stinks but I finally found him a big enough cave. Can't wait until I get his bigger tank from my dad. He is so spoiled. Will have a 55 all to his self prob. My dad and mom came for a visit today to bring me back my tablet cord and my mom couldn't believe how big he got in a smaller tank. I said that's what happens when he is fed proper and doesn't have bettas pecking his head. My dad says, "nope that's what happens when he has a tank all to his self and lays around eating shrimp pellets!" LOL. My dad is all up for good natured ribbing. He laughs at how I spoil my fish sometimes.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Very nice! I like all the plants.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

He's seems pretty happy and my mom says he looks a few inches bigger. I can tell one thing though, he got darker and his spots are more defined. When we got him he was pale and a bit thin. My dad have him in a fifty five with several algae eaters at two years old he needs more nourishment than he was getting. He's getting that now. He gets a mixed diet of algae wafers and shrimp pellets. Even though his tank is small he is thriving and all over the place. I'm so glad I took him and he didn't end up bait.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad you took him, too. He has a good home now.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Bought another car today way under budget. 600 for a dodge Plymouth neon all it needs is a tune up and a bath so far. Been having some panic issues this week and doing nothing but sleeping. Need to get caught up in school


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm going nuts. My husband dropped a bunch of crickets in the house and they r now hiding under my fridge chirping away. I have a headache.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

That would drive me nuts.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I am getting really depressed lately. My husband is battling within his self and I believe it all revolves around his sister getting pregnant. Since hearing that he has been snapping at me and making no sense at all. I think he is jealous of her. He is the eldest and he married me who can't have children without treatment if at all and I think he is feeling angry because of it. What makes it worse is he took steriods and has no idea if he can either. I really think he is envious of her if not a little angry at God for letting her get pregnant when she is so obviously unfit. 

We also went through hell last week to buy two new vehicles to shut his mom up. She gave him a van for christmas last year and she has asked to borrow it three times and asked for it back. She kept talking about how I don't work so I don't need a vehicle. I told him we were buying two new ones and I was taking over. She better never ask me to borrow our vehicles again because it isn't happening. She also had the nerve to ask us to help his sister move and he told her no. He said I wasn't to help her and wasn't either since she didn't help us move in here. He and I did it alone practically and his sister refused to help us. His mom kept throwing it up in his face that she is pregnant and he needed to do for her. He went off on his mom and told her he didn't give a crap and he wasn't going to kiss her butt because she decided to get pregnant by an idiot. His cousin got it too, she said to him, "well she is your only sister" he said well im her only full blood brother and what has she done for me? Nothing" His sister got a car reposessed in his name and screwed up his credit and has taken advantage of him so much he has snapped. The problem is he is backing away from me because of it and I feel more alone now than I ever did. He has totally fell backwards away from all of us because of some depression he is in. I put my foot down this weekend. We are going to go and spend the day at the indian mounds near us and we are going to lock the doors and turn off the phones after we do. I don't care if someone is bleeding on my door step I am not answering anyone and I am going to find out what is really wrong with my husband. This has gotten me to the point I am not concentrating well in school because the nerve meds I take as needed are being used more because of all of this. no over dosing I promise. He is just so darn secretive and he doesn't trust women. I see why as many times as they have screwed him over. His mom got a truck repossessed in his name, stole the money for the payments and got drunk with them while he was in the hospitol after having his hand cut off. His sister did the same thing with a car and now expects him to help her take care of her baby. His uncle gave him a bow for christmas and came up and took it back because jeff wouldn't give him a gun for trade. His mom gave him that van for christmas and now harassed him to the point he gave it back. His mom left his sister everything in her will including all money from life insurance... everything. His dad tryed to sell family heir looms for beer and he had to survive a week with his check a hundred and twenty dollars short since he had to buy the items. After he bought them his mom had the nerve to tell him that all of it was supposed to be left to his sister and jeff told her no since he paid for them. His sister enheirited all furniture of his dead brothers and all photos. She even has his original birth certificate that she will not give him. His sister has his baby hospitol hat and won't give it to him... They are horrible people. It's no wonder he is nuts right now.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It sounds to me like you guys need to get away from those people permanently before they drive you completely nuts.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I agree we were hoping he was going to get this promotion that would have required us to move to Michigan for a year but instead of promoting they got rid of the job. His family is just dumb. They irritate the crap outta him because they don't think straight at all. He doesn't realize that he was just like them until he met me and I taught him that there was more to life than drinking beer and wasting money. Now that he is sober he sees them all for what the really are.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

His sister needs to stand on her own two feet and so does their mother and quit depending on others.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yep they are getting a big wake up call now. I'm stepping up now. Jeff is too he told me he is tired of them running all over him. The van we gave back after his mother harassed him to death was originally. Christmas present so yea. They have issues and Jeff is finally seeing it,


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Do you have vehicles now? If so I'd tell her to take that van and stick it where the sun doesn't shine.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> Do you have vehicles now? If so I'd tell her to take that van and stick it where the sun doesn't shine.


Ha we did. Jeff is mad now because she made a huge deal abt getting it back and he set up the app at the notary and she didnt come. A party at the bar was more important. 

Got the deans list again for the fourth time. One more and I made the deans list all five semesters! I applied for an assistent clerk job since I didn't get the fastenol job. Apparently the public speaking class I aced wasn't good enough for them and their sales requirements. So I went to two interviews for nothing. Ah well, god will direct me to the right place. 

Hi there perry;-)


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm sure that the right job is waiting for you somewhere.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*pics*

I hope so or college is a waste! Here are some pics of bean's the pacman frog and Ted. Had Ted about a month. He is turning out to be really pretty.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I got chosen for verification for college so now I have to get my tax records and figure that out so I can finish. I hope I can get it done since I am now in my final semester. If I can't complete this semester I am going to break down. 

Plus side I got some nice feedback from my Entrepreneurial class Proffessor. He asked us to give Ethical Feedback on a situation and he said I did the best work in the class and asked me if he could show it to the rest of the students anonymously as an example of a thorough analysis. What an honor. Also my cousin is going to the same school as me and she made the Dean's list too so I am super proud of her. 

Jeff is doing better. I figured out what was wrong with him last weekend. He broke down and finally talked to me about his feelings about how dumb his mom and sister are. He said it tears him up they can't think things through before they act. He feels like he is talking to the wind.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad that you and Jeff were able to open up and talk about your feelings. That's cool that your professor is using your work as a good example to show the rest of the class.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I feel really good abt it. It feels good to have your work recognized like that even anonymously. Jeff is pretty secretive abt his feelings and doesn't like to open up but if I corner him I can get it out of him. I usually have to irritate him but after I do he gets in a better mood.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Well, a lot of men don't open up and share their feelings. I guess they think it's a sign of weakness.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I agree. Jeff has that tough guy thing. He was a weight lifter who competed at state tournaments, he was a rodeo cowboy too. He is six foot four and abt three hundred fifty pounds of muscle so he is that type.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Had a funky past two days. Jeff carved a pumpkin with his little bro. I got some pics and I'll post one later. His mom got mad cuz he didn't include his sisters step son. We don't relate to that kid. Hes a gang banger in training and talks abt how he is going to drink and drive and shoot cops when he grows up. All he does is play video games. We are strict hillbillys and we don't put up with his ghetto talk. He is a lazy kid. I don't care who we tick off anymore. I'm not dancing like a puppet on a string to make people happy.

On a funnier note I dropped my TV remote in my sororitys dirty poo water. I also twisted my hand taking my bassett out. Its windy and the door pushed my wrist backward. Its fine just hurt at the time. My professor posted my work today. Pretty cool.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Well, let them get mad.I wouldn't want to be around a kid like that either. I'm glad you didn't hurt your wrist more than you did. I've got to fix my mom's breakfast, go take care of my neighbor 's cat before it storms and take a shower.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Its supposed to get real windy between 4 and 6 so hang on to your hat!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We've had wind today but no storms yet.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Cute Halloween pic! This is my husband and his Step Brother carving Step Bro's first pumpkin. It was pretty cute, he didn't want to touch the slimy stuff. I love how close they are. His step brother is five and he gets mad when people say that Jeff and his sister are his "step" siblings. He says, "no no no, don't say that, that's my brother and my sister" he calls me his sister too :3 He is the little boy I talk about that has his own betta he feeds every morning and before he goes to sleep. His little fingers give the perfect pinches. If only he was big enough to start cleaning my tanks... 

Jeff's birthday is next Monday. He is getting a little depressed about it I think. It's the big 30. He and my moms birthday's are three days apart so we are going to go thrift store and flea market shopping for them both. They both love to hit the second hand stores, and they are going to go pick out a cake together. I am going to try and get my sister to go but she never likes going anywhere. I suppose the important thing is that I try.

After that is my birthday and then Jeff's step brothers birthday is three days later too. We have lots of birthday's that clump up in the fall and winter months. We have four in October, five in November and six in January.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Cute pic. A lot of people get depressed when they reach a milestone birthday. They feel like they haven't accomplished anything in their lives.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea, I just hope that isn't why he is depressed. He was 25 when we got together. He told me all he wanted was to fall in love and be married and own his own home by now. He has accomplished both. I am hoping it isn't because of his sister getting pregnant. She is his little sister (26). I have been asking him if he is affected by seeing her have a child. I always get a "no she's crazy" in response of course. 

Both of us want to wait to have kids because we want both degrees. He wants an Associate's and I want my doctorate. That isn't easy to get with a kid. I don't know if I ever want one since that will put a huge damper on my doctorate. I have a ten to fifteen year goal to get it and one of my Proffessors basically told me I was nuts for going for it. He said a Doctorate in Business is "highly agressive, difficult to achieve and rare" and told me good luck, lol. He doesn't realize just how stubborn I am. 

Anyways, Jeff and I having a baby would cause our educational dreams to be put on hold since we would have to be at the doctor's constantly and I would have to avoid stress since I would be high risk. Genetically, we have an entire generation of girls who can't conceive on my mothers side. There's four of us. We have the capability but it would require months or years of drugs and possibly surgeries to correct this genetic abnormality. Plus Jeff used to be a weight lifter and started steroids in highschool. He has only been off of them for about three and a half or four years. Therfore he would have to have drugs too. Neither of us feel it is worth it to kill our careers and our bodies to bring another life into the world that doesn't need to be here. We decided a long time ago to adopt when the time is right career wise. I am just wondering if with this 30th birthday coming up he is feeling the "biological clock" pressure.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

OMG! My tablet's button broke. LOL. It's stuck in stand by and I can't get it to click on. Good thing I haven't paid it off yet. I have to wait until Friday to take it to the rental place and it will probably take two weeks to get it back. AHH what am I going to do I am going to be so very bored. OMG I'm such a nerd.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yeah, having kids would definitely put a damper on things. You just have to decide what choices are right for you and if others don't like the choices you've made then too bad. It's your life to live how you see fit. And you can always adopt later if you decide you want a child.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I feel that way too. I don't want to force having a child because society says I have too. It isn't fair to me or the child. We don't really have the money to support a child anyways. But social pressure is very hard. I feel like society looks at us like we are freaks because we are heading to our thirties and havent had four kids like everyone else. I drifted away from all of my friends because at 18 they started having children and we grew apart. We had nothing more in common. I was free and they weren't. I'm a little sad his sister is having a kid because she and I were friends and we did things as couples. She will use this baby as an excuse now and our friendship will be over. I can see it already because all she is talking about is babies. I get tired of hearing about it. All "breeders" do is talk to me like I am in idiot and tell me about children. They don't realize I have taken extensive training in Psychology on Early childhood development and childhood education at a a graduate level at age 14. My education in that hasn't stopped yet and nobody can tell me anything about children I don't already know. I couldn't tell you how many times people have told me I don't understand because I am not a mom and how being a mom is the most important thing in life. My favorite saying is "women are supposed to have kids it's God's way" If God feels that way why are so many women infertile. I don't have friends because all of the women around me have children and that is all they talk about, breeding. 
I have never been one to bend to social norms though. Hence the reason I am going after an agressive degree. I always do things the hard way and if physical society doesn't accept me someone online always will :lol:. Nothing attainable in life is worth it or properly appreciated without a struggle. I feel better about myself knowing that I can attain goals that aren't the social norm like a doctorate of business. They all may be able to reproduce but how many of them will have a Ph.D? Or even an Associate's degree in something other than friggin' nursing? or any degree at all? LOL


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I was in a Sunday school class with all married people and everything is all about the kids and grandkids.n We had a get together and I sat by myself and just wanted to cry because I felt so left out.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It does make you feel bad. I feel like an alien life form sometimes. I'm only 25 and they make me feel like I am such a freak because I didn't start reproducing at 18 like everyone else. Heck my cousin who everyone thought was going to make a huge name for herself (I thought so too) went and got a fancy degree in anthropology. She ended up graduating, getting pregnant and working as a bagger at Krogers. 

I feel so bad until I sit back and think about how different I am than them and different is good. You are one of the few people that understand that I think. All they have to talk about is breeding babies and we can speak intelligently about Math, Science, Psychology... If you asked any of them who Irwin Schrodinger and B.F Skinner are they would give you a blank stare. So really we should be proud we didn't conform to what society tells us we should do with our lives as women. I just wish other people would stop looking at me with that sad, stupid pity smile like they do. It really gets old.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It's their problem, not yours. Where do people get off trying to tell you what to do with your life, anyway?

I've heard of Skinner but not Schrodinger. lol He must be fairly new. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Nope, actually he was a Pilosopher/Physics guy in 1935 (Einsteins time frame). He came up with an interesting philosophy about a cat. This hypothetical cat is imagined as being in a closed box. The paradox is, is the cat alive? is it dead? You won't know until you open the box. Basically we don't know anything if it isn't uncovered and proven about space. This is the easiest way I have found it explained but the link is wikipedia. You have to take it with a grain of salt. I am not a physics person and don't know much beyond this. I don't actually much care about Philosophy either since it's only ideas and theories, not based on facts. I just thought the paradox was interesting. I told you I'm a nerd. My mother says I am SO smart. I tell her it isn't inteligence, I'm a dork. I can't multiply large numbers and I can still be out spelled by a fifth grader.​:lol:​ 
Schrödinger's cat - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia​


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lol. No wonder I never heard of the guy. I never took philosophy. I'm going to have to read up on some of the theorists.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> Lol. No wonder I never heard of the guy. I never took philosophy. I'm going to have to read up on some of the theorists.


Schrodinger is definatly an interesting guy. ;-)


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Been working on my sis in laws crochet blanky for my unborn neice *crosses fingers* she find out what it is on my husbands birthday. I hope its a girl just so I can make her this cross stitch quilt I found. It has a fairy on it and says, "a princess is born" Oh and I found out my brothers woman is trying to talk him into another baby too :3 If it's a girl she will be named kylee. So I will have Kloe, Kayla and Kylee by him. I have so many neices. five of them and only two nephews (7 and 11). Only one neice is 18 and they are all gorgeous, and puberty is coming for the rest*sweats*.

btw, so proud of my oldest neice, she is graduated high school and is going to go into fire fighting and paramedics like my two brothers-in-law.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

What an anger inducing day. I think I am going to have to force my sister-in-law to divorce her stupid husband and move in with me and Jeff. I told Jeff if the guy keeps it up I have two empty rooms in my house. One for her and one for baby. She is on forced maternity leave because she is high risk. He got drunk and called his family saying he wants to leave her and move back to michigan because she is lazy and won't go back to work. I wouldn't put up with that. Jeff went to his moms to pick up his birthday cards and the guy ran from him before jeff knew what was going on. Jeff told his sister he doesn't get why he ran because there isn't anything he can do about his big mouth if his sis is going to stay with him. This girl has no idea how much potential she really has. She aced her finals in Phlebotomy on the first try she got the vain in her test patient. She is smarter than she acts I hope one day she realizes her potential. 

I just got done watching the Madacascar 3 movie. It was pretty good. Next task is going to be cleaning out my two storage rooms. They are so full of spare tanks and odds and ends like filters and heaters and decor. I of course am not getting rid of it! I just need to box it so I can walk into the room. I am thinking about giving my forty gallon to a young couple that wants fish but can't afford a tank their toddlers can't smack or reach. This one is so tall it's up to my eyeballs and I am 5'8. They have two girls, one is two and the other is almost one.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

What a jerk! She doesn't need that kind of crap.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

No she doesn't I know she is no angel but he could at least be a man for the baby's sake. He is already calling off of work to drink. She is not even six months and could misscarry at any time. I don't know what jeff will do. We have lost a lot of loved ones lately and we need a good event to cheer us up.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I found this article and loved it, DQ. It's worth the read and lets us know we definatly aren't alone. 

http://jezebel.com/5908514/when-motherhood-never-happens


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Good article. Thanks for sharing.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I thought you would enjoy that. Humpf. My sister in law is already using her pregnancy to get out of stuff. She didn't want to go and talk to Jeff about her moms christmas gift because as she put it, "I'm growing a human why don't you try that and see if you want to get up" She so has issues sometimes. 

I am currently eating banana pudding and trying to get my queezy tummy to calm down. I love being a girl! I had fun with my mom today though. We took her shopping for her birthday and her only wish was to go to see a sweet old lady she took care of at the home she works at. This lovly senior lady was our neighbor when I was child and remembered me and my brother climbing a fence to come see her. We loved her so much. She used to take us to church and Bible school when we were kids. We would come to her house on off days and weed in her garden. After we were done she gave us cookies and punch. I love her so much and she lit up when I came in. She grabbed my hand and hugged me and kissed me. Then I introduced Jeff and she told him she hopes he knows how special of a lady he got and told him to appreciate and take care of me :3 She told me she was happy I decided to wait to have kids until I got out of school too. I love her she is 94. 

I came home from shopping and visiting and we went to see my mother in law and sister in law. Sis is starting to show now. I had a good time over there especially when my eight year old nephew started turning red when sis in law told he was getting hair in weird places. It was really cute. He blushed and blushed until Auntie (me) told him it was okay and that even girls had that issue. Then things got epicly cute. He puffed his little chest out and said, "Look uncle jeff I have chest hair too like you" and jeff laughed and said, "no boy that's only shirt fuzz 

I got two new families asking for my ancestry help which is cool. I really like the people. One is a fella with high functioning down syndrome that I used to go to school with. The other is someone who saw my work and contacted me about helping him.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad you had a good visit with your former neighbor. People like that are special.As for your sister in law, don't you just love people who make smart alecky remarks like that? A cousin of mine made a smart remark to me one time about how it was too bad I couldn't drive otherwise I would know that blah blah blah. I wanted to smack the crap out of her. We ended up not talking for 5 years. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I truly think some people do not realize how bad they sound. I get irritated at women who use pregnancy as an excuse to do nothing. She really needs a new doc. They told her to rest and that her 5 pound weight lose wasn't normal. Many women lose a bit of weight when they get pregnant but it isn't the babies weight. Doy, Pregnant women eat healthier so their OWN weight drops. She is just under four months so when she hits 6 she is going to ballon out. I don't think I would let a doctor deliver my child if they yelled at me for eating right while pregnant. Pregnant women don't even realize they are technically ill with a parasite until the child is delivered. The fetus is technically a parasite. so not lying people so don't attack me. I want to be infected with one one day  There are so many theories out on why women get sick during pregnancy like the one where the woman's body rejects the man's.... I will say DNA and they get sick because of it. I think the parasite idea fits the best. If you really think about the definition of a parasite you will understand. A parasite is an organism that attatches to a host and sucks the nutrients from the host's body in return making the mother sick. Pregnancy isn't as glamarous and admiration worthy as people think. Humans reproduce this way and no one can deny that fact. The organism (baby) attatches to the mothers womb and sucks her nutrients.... parasitic relationship.

And DQ, that annoys me the most anymore. I hate when people think they have a right to tell you about yourself. As if they know you better. Bleck! I also hate having my intelligence questioned. I despise when people say, you don't know until you are in that position. I have a functioning brain. I can see when something doesn't look or smell right. Grrrr! 
__________________


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

double post. Gaaah! I need my pills.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

A lot of people don't treat me like I have a brain in my head except for an elderly great uncle. Every time he wants to know something he tells my mom to ask me. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It's nice to be respected by at least one person. My dad still thinks I don't know how to turn a computer on so he asks my sister to help him when he can't figure something out. She comes to me and asks why I didn't do it for him. Because he thinks I'm stupid is my reply. -_-


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

When I got my first computer my mom didn't think I could learn to use one.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea those computers... so hard for us stupid people to figure them out. 

Sis-in-law just called today to tell us what she is having. It's a boy, I was really hoping for a girl but I don't have any nephews anyways. I need some more. It's healthy and thats all I care about. My mother-in-law is going to be a butt. She was the only one who said boy so she is going to drive all of us nutts.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUSBAND! lol, he is sleeping his birthday away because it fell on a work night. It's funny how exactly right we are for one another. We both worked on milestone birthdays instead of calling off. I worked on my 21st and he is going to work tonight on his 30th. We would rather work and make money. Speaking of work I am going to apply as assistant clerk to my town. I hope I can get it, we will see.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I hope all goes well for your sis in law and the baby. Good luck with the job. I'm not going to apply at Petsmart again since were moving.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

My Bassett died tonight. I don't really know why. She was fine and perky this morning but when we got home she was curled up and gone. I think the people that gave her too me didn't realize how old she was. They said she was three but she always acted older. She was such a good girl. 

On a happier note my brother-in-law and my nephew went trick or treating and were very spazzy and hyper when they got back. I am glad they aren't my kids! Candy crashes are fun. I bet they sleep long and hard when they come down off their sugar buzz.My nephew was that weird bad guy from the movie SCREAM and my brother in law was batman.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm sorry about your dog. She had a good home with you. I'm glad the kids had fun trick or treating even if they did get high on all the sugar. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> I'm sorry about your dog. She had a good home with you. I'm glad the kids had fun trick or treating even if they did get high on all the sugar. lol


I'm going to miss her. She was my best buddy. I will miss her wet slobbery nose waking me up when she had to go potty. She was always there for me when I needed a smooch . Jeff keeps trying to figure out what was wrong with her because... you know... everyone thinks it was there fault when someone you love dies. It's part of grieving. I think she was older than what the people said. 

And those boys were wired! They were shaking their heads back and forth, making funny noises... One was karate chopping the air! And of course. Jeff the provoker. He kept trying to get my nephew to sneak candy after his daddy said no. It was cute.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

lol It sounds like Jeff had fun with them.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea he is good at getting the boys into trouble but they have a ball with him. I think it's his way of getting them to stop listening to people that will get you into trouble. That could backfire on him though. 
His brother likes when we take him to "the fish store". It makes his mom and his sister mad though because he will listen to us and won't run away from us. All I have to do is tell him to keep his hand on the cart and he will stay right with me. He knows if he don't listen I will put him in the cart like a "baby" so he does what I say. 

He Burried Emma today and moved my other dogs leads closer to the house so I won't have to walk out in the dark for late night pee's. I live right next to trees so he worries about wild animals. We get a lot of raccoons and deer here. The idea of a raccoon walking out of the brush on me scares him. We had one that went after our dogs once. It was reaching in to the kennel we used to keep them out in during the day since our yard can't be fenced in. It was walking in circles and falling over and licking itself a lot. It was sick so we had to shoot it sadly. I didn't want it to bite my dogs and it wouldn't run when we tryed to scare it off. We had to shoot another one that really freaked me out. It walked up onto my mother in laws front porch when the door was open and lights were on. They are very loud people and there were ten or so running around the house and talking. He went right on to the porch and stared in to the house. We had children there. I think there is something making them sick in the woods. There are barrels burried in the ground back there and Jeff thinks they are old oil drums from when there was a shop behind our house. We don't go in the woods now that we saw that. Theres an old collapsed building back there too. It looks like an addition to the old garage that closed in the 1970's.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Doing a little ancestry work today. I am working on three trees. I have one client, one tree that belongs to another genealogist who needs a fresh pair of eyes on things and Jeff's tree. Jeff's tree is pretty much for fun anymore since it's basically together. My clients tree is giving me the worst of the problems because he doesn't know much about his family to give me a good start so I am working from almost nothing. The genealogist tree makes me look like a newbie at every turn LOL. The guy asked me for help and I haven't been able to help him much at all. Dramaqueen if you ever want me to do a tree for you let me know


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Thank you. We had some research done about 4 or 5 years ago and the woman charged us $1000 for it.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

GEEZE! did she give it to you in a folder made of Gold? I am working for free in Genealogy right now. I plan on getting certified in it and I have to reach a certain amount of hours researching before I qualify. Once I am certified I plan on helping people in my spare time based on what they can afford to pay. I like doing it and it's exciting and fun for me. I have had a few people get mad at me when I discover what they knew about their family was wrong. One lady got so mad she hung up on her daughter. This woman didn't want her daughter to know that she was married four times and I was researching for the daughter. I showed the daughter what I found and she called her mom to see if she would talk about it and she hung up on her. That lady was all confused and couldn't understand how I figured that out. I had this one sweet old man once who asked me to find his brothers death certificate. I found it and he cryed because he never knew his brothers name. One of his parents killed him when he was two and because of that they wouldn't talk to him. He wanted to know his brothers name and if he indeed was murdered. In cause of death it said, "Blunt force trauma, cause of death, homicide" He was pretty greatful to finally know what happened even though he didn't know which parent did it. He was told two different things. One story came from his mom who told him his dad killed him. The other came from his moms sister who said his mom killed him and the dad went to jail for her because she was pregnant. That's something only the parents would know so that's not possible to figure out. It was a sad story but I am glad I was able to answer a couple of his questions.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Wow, what a story! We have a whole folder full of stuff. The woman charged for gas when she had to go to different places to do research. She didn't do it all online.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Ahh, I see. I haven't done a ton of footwork yet. I have had to walk cemetery's and look at cemetery records but not much library or archive work. 
It was quit a story, pretty heartbreaking.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I am getting irritated at some people on here that have this preconceived notion that they are constantly mimicking the environment in Thailand. I have been doing the research and guess what? The temps in Tailand don't stay at 76 to 78! Who knew. Thailand has three seasons in one part of the country and two in another and some times of the year it gets as low as 64f and as high as 98f. I get the temp needs of 76 for fish that are domestic but people need to research more before they say that domestic fish need the same as wild fish. They don't obviously need the same climate. A domestic fish will die like that. All they have to do is google it LOL. I put in "What are the average temperatures in Thailand and got all kinds of info. Most sites were travel sites and said 18C to 37C was the average. in Northeast Thailand the temps can get as low as 8C in the cool season. Now I am going to dig around and see what portion of the country most bettas come from. I am betting south. Hmmm. I hate my researching brain. I am not really aggravated I guess I am more curious about the information people are putting out. They say all the time that Thailand is always tropical but it isn't. The weather changes with the seasons.

I can't find a straight answer on where they come from naturally, what portion of Thailand to be exact. All over or a certain part. Now I am sleuthing.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I've heard people say that temperature fluctuations are bad and I'm sure extreme fluctuations are bad but mine have lived with temperature fluctuations for years and have been fine.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Mine have too, mild ones. Nothing too extreme. I think I am going to try and make a powerpoint presentation for fun and maybe to show people about their natural habitats that they are found and how domestic and wild fish have different needs. They are often compaired too much to each other when they are born into two different environments. I want to see how that really affects wild and domestic fish. I am thinking it's going to turn out to be similar to that whole PETA argument about if domestic dogs and cats could survive in the wild. I want to hopefully show the end result to family members who have gotten interested in bettas because of me. My dad for instance doesn't understand why he can't keep one alive but won't listen to anyone on their proper care. He told me to throw my new betta in a mud puddle once when he took me fish shopping and I f reaked out because it was sitting close to an open window when it was chilly out. He said to throw it in a mud puddle and it would be okay. 

Well the wind is here from Hurricane Sandy. Lucky me I am right in the high wind advisory. It isn't too bad yet but it's supposed to get a little worse tomorrow. It's not that bad here. I am crossing my fingers for those who stayed in the middle of this though. What's sad is I don't think I will be able to hand out candy with my mom and sister this year. It's supposed to be 25 mile an hour winds and raining so I don't think that many parents are going to be taking their little ones out into that. 

I am so excited. It costed 70 dollars but I was able to get this rare vintage christmas countdown calendar that my mother in law wanted. I thought the story was really sad so I have been rummaging through ebay to try and find it. She had a son that died from a bone marrow transplant and he was only 23. When he was a little boy she used to do this christmas calendar with him where he moved the little figure from pocket to pocket. She let him have it when he moved out because he wanted it and after he died she asked his wife if she could have it back and his wife wouldn't let her. She told her it got ate by rats. She has a new one now though coming this week. Jeff is happy he really wanted to get it for her.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We're getting the wind, too. At least it won't be as bad as Ike. Ike took our roof off.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Wow, All Ike did here was blow some rough winds. Didn't even see any branches down. My mom is freaking out about this wind. She is afraid that the electric is going to go out but I don't think it will. The winds are rough but they don't seem as bad as all of that.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

The wind here is 20 miles an hour.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

That's pretty much what we have. It's supposed to get a little worse tomorrow but it isn't as bad as they sad. I live in a trailer so that is saying a lot for wind. If it isn't too bad for someone with three inch wide walls it isn't as bad as they said it would be here.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Poor trick or treaters. I had to go to town late to pick up my meds and boy oh boy it was wet, cold, and rainy. The kids still went out in it for their goodies though. I have been having a rough week. I was trying to see what would happen without my meds and I have been crazy. I sobbed because our furnace wasn't working then I had some severe panic attacks. It feels so bad to be scared all the time and exhausting. I am so sick of it. I am to the point were I want to find a miracle drug that makes me feel nothing at all. I am sick of emotions. They stink.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My cousin said Zoloft did that to her. Not me. lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I was on that before. Paxil killed my emotions pretty well though. My Psychiatrist won't give me an anti depressant until I get a sleep study. I may have apnea which causes depression too. I am stuck with lorazapam. I think the reason I freaked out this week is I was off of it for four days. I am calming a little now that I have it but I am still on edge. My dog just chased an animal under the house and I didn't realize it. Scared me to death. Everything makes me jumpy and I just want to be numb. 

I love my shepard. He is such a good boy if I keep my terrier away. He lays right at my feet and follows me everywhere. My special boy :3 My terrier is a bad seed.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Feeling pretty blah today. I got my nerve meds refilled and I am finally coming down from this nervous breakdown this week. I have a lot of headache and tiredness issues because of it though. I have worn myself out. 

I had a so so day today. My birthday is tomorrow so my mother-in-law gave me my birthday card that told me she was sorry she didn't tell me enough how much she loved me :3 I then later had a panic attack and ended up crying at the bottom of my shower 

The day before yesterday was interesting. I went to Jack's Aquarium to tie up the loose ends in my 20 gal high and bought a black and white Moon who is gawgeous, three zebra danio's and a sunset platy. I take them home and find out the sunset platy has dropsy so I take her all the way back and settle on a gold dust molly. My tank is full now but man I felt for that gal with the dropsy. 

Oh and surprise surprise. I got another betta. Jeff named him Wolverine of course. He is a grizzle bodied Veiltail with Light brown fins and a bright purple color toward his body. I am a little concerned about him because he is trying so hard to swim to get air. I figure it's weak muscles because he looks healthy otherwise so I lowered the water to about five inches. Just enough to make him work out and he is moving a little more today. I think he just needs to excercise those fins.


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## LebronTheBetta (Apr 23, 2012)

Don't be sad. My teeth got pulled out on Thursday because of my braces. The anesthesia shot hurt so much I cried! Happy Birthday, though!  You got a new Betta, and things will get better, don't worry.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks Lebron, 
I have a birthday party at my in-laws tomorrow. I may have to miss it because I now have a cold. My husband is getting mad at me because I am hot and won't lay down and rest. I can't help it, it's too boring laying down all the time. I do have my tablet back. When it carges a bit more I can get on there and play my games.


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## LebronTheBetta (Apr 23, 2012)

No problemo, get well soon! Staying in bed is boring. :L


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I hope you feel better soon so you can enjoy your birthday.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well my birthday was kind of blah like every other one but I don't expect anything to fantastic. I didn't even get a cake  My father in law made me chicken and dumplings and collard greens which was yummy. My sis in law bought me a pj set that was pretty cute and my mommy in law got me a smelly teddy bear that someone made me which was nice and she got me some candle stuff. My mom got me some lotion and socks and some craft stuff to keep me entertained and some LED candles. I got nice stuff but nobody thought to get me a cake. I bet my sister may thought. She can't forget sweets. I start a new class tomorrow, Marketing which looks like it's going to be a tough one.

Oh I got a new fish! He is in a temp home right now until he gets some strength. He was weak and having trouble swimming. He is healthy though, I know as of today it was weak muscles so I am leaving him with low water a few more days. He is next to chrissy who has been helping him get stronger by flirting with him. He has been building quite the nest for her and moving more and more each day. I saw this guy and I couldn't leave him no matter how hard I wanted too. He is such a looker. 

Meet Wolverine everyone.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I didn't get a cake for my birthday, either so don't feel bad. Your new guy is pretty. I saw a peachy yellow crowntail at Meijers today but I can't get any more.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm sorry. When I guilt my family about mine I will eat a piece for you :C I wll get a cake, my mom is already feeling lousy about forgeting it. It's the first birthday I have had were nobody got me one and I will let them all know LOL.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

lol Sounds like me. I hope you won't have to spend your 40th birthday having knee surgery like I did.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> lol Sounds like me. I hope you won't have to spend your 40th birthday having knee surgery like I did.


Now that birthday really sucks


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It did, believe me. Lol. But one of my friends brought me a little pint container of raspberry ice cream and a couple of cookies.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well I had some fun at the psychiatrist appointment today and got a new... half diagnosis. Just what I need right? Now my list of mental disorders goes too...

Generalized anxiety disorder
Dysthymic disorder
social anxiety disorder 

and now he has added to the social anxiety disorder. He added two "personalities" look them up they are entertaining.

He added Avoidance disorder and Schizoid disorder which are personalities apparently. Sigh, It's official, I'm nuts. LOL.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My abnormal psychology book says avoidance disorder is a hypersensitivity to rejection, limited social relationships and low self esteem. Schozoid personality is shyness, oversensitivity, seclusiveness and eccentricity. No, you are not nuts. I find it hard to believe you have all this.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> My abnormal psychology book says avoidance disorder is a hypersensitivity to rejection, limited social relationships and low self esteem. Schozoid personality is shyness, oversensitivity, seclusiveness and eccentricity. No, you are not nuts. I find it hard to believe you have all this.


I do have issues in public. I avoid parties, I absolutly hate if people stare at me. I don't feel comfortable in public places. Jeff and I almost broke up because he loved to go to bars. I felt so akward in bars. He stopped going for me. I feel like my face and my head is on fire in public situations. My hands tingle and I feel like everyone is staring at me about to pounce. Also, I have issues processing emotion. I don't understand sarcasm. I guess it's some kind of avoidence technique. I do fine online but face to face is the problem. I don't have any none family or online friends, I was never social. I don't understand when I screw up in public situations, like making someone mad. I can be overly blunt and have no sympathy. Oh well, I am so used to it, it's just part of who I am anymore. I am thinking that maybe all of these disorders are coming out to explain all behavior. There is even one called ODD or defiant disorder. Apparently bad kids have a disorder caused by parents slacking in discipline and then suddenly giving them discipline. Disorders are all over the place anymore.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I think you have sympathy or at least you do on here.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I try  at least when people deserve it. I'm comfortable around this forum and I have made many good friends


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

You have me.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Always


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I got another betta. I was planning on cutting down on them but I found two this week I couldn't pass up. This new one we call Storm. He is a white or cellophane crowntail or something like that.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Here is a decent pic of Ted


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Ooh, nice! Storm looks kind of metallic to me.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

He does seem little metallic. On his body he has a couple of metallic white scales around his gill plates and you can see in the pic a little were half his tail looks metallic white and the back half is clear. I wonder how he is going to look when he grows up a little. He is still pretty young I think.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

He might change colors on you. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I have this fuzzy feeling he will. He is looking like he is going to turn grey and reddish.

My marketing class has been an interesting challenge. I enjoyed writing my first paper. It was on the history of marketing and how its developed over time.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

What a crummy day and it's only noon. I'm going to go to sleep after I wrap my Christmas presents I think. I got a bill for just my internet that was 60.00. I went psycho trying to figure out why and decided to try a different provider. I go to direct tv and get a surprise that I would be able to get internet and cable for ten dollars cheaper than my current provider for just a dollar. But no, they didnt' tell me it would cost and extra hundred and fifty dollars chargable today to install the internet, the dollar was the cable. So I have to cancel all that crap and call earthlink who reduces my bill to thirty a month. So after this was all done I had a good cry. I forgot to mention in the middle of this I was doing a bedding change for my pacman frog. I have a headache. I am going to go wrap some presents now and take a nerve pill and a nap. 

Oh and Storm is starting to really look like a storm. He is getting some grey and blue in his fins. Perfect name!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*So Proud!*

I am so proud of my In-Laws right now. They have a betta in a three gallon heated tank and they are really taking to his proper care. They have had him about two years and I have fought with them about water changes and such and tonight they impressed me. They just called me at seven and were freaking out saying their fish was dying and I needed to come save him. He is rather old going on about two and a half which is long for a petstore betta (walmart). I went over there and they told me he was laying at the bottom a lot and they couldn't figure out what the "green stuff" was on the walls of his tank. LOL Newbie's can be cute.

I look at this fish and I got my nose up to the tank and he swam at me fast with a purpose flaring his little behind off. There isn't anything wrong with him. He is just resting more because he is one of those super long tailed betta's and he is an old man! I told them not to worry to much and the "green stuff" was algae and it was growing crazy because he is in front of a window that gets direct sunlight and has no curtain. So they are going to move him and leave his old self be. I told them that he looked fine to me and they need to prepare themselves now for his death since he IS old. I can't save him from natural causes. 

Back to the point. I was really proud that they called me like that to learn. It made me feel good. I just hope he doesn't die like in a day from some weirdness because they would never believe me again since I said he looked fine.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Currently watching Ted work on his nest and trying to get the mojo to write my marketing paper. I just don't want to. To worried about my electric bill. Ted sure would make some lovely babies if I were to breed him. He is a halfmoon and perfectly formed.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Worrying about bills is a never ending thing. I'm paying $25 for the stupid newspaper and I want to cancel it but my mom loves reading the paper and the stupid cable bill went up by about $15. I'm sick of it.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> Worrying about bills is a never ending thing. I'm paying $25 for the stupid newspaper and I want to cancel it but my mom loves reading the paper and the stupid cable bill went up by about $15. I'm sick of it.


Me too, my internet bill went up to 63 from 35 and I got an electric bill of 257. It's insane. I suppose it isn't really worth worrying about. I wish I was born a man since it's like, not in their dna to worry about bills. Jeff just shrugs his shoulders.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

We have Insight and they keep raising everything little by little until one day you look at your bill and say holy cow, how did it get this high!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> We have Insight and they keep raising everything little by little until one day you look at your bill and say holy cow, how did it get this high!


My dad had a cable/internet bill that jumped seventy dollars.

I am so sleepy. Got ran over by bills so I have to stay up to see if this semesters refund check came. Pretty bad when you have to borrow from school to pay bills. I'm currently watching the movie called "all about steve" and debating on if I should start one of my three papers due.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Still haven't gotten my check. Went to my parents house for thanksgiving today. Had some drama, my aunt and uncle got into it in front of everyone. Sibling spat, very disrespectful to the family. 
I got the duckweed I ordered. We will see if I can keep it alive. I kept a moss ball alive Lol. I ordered a double tail female a couple days ago. I hope she comes soon but the store couldn't give me a date.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Today I slept for thirteen hours and now I am stiff. I really must have needed that sleep. I have tons of laundry to do but I really don't feel like it. I have to make myself though or Jeff is going to go to work with no clothes. I just logged out of class. We had some really interesting discussions going about marketing ads and "branding". Branding is the label that is recognizable on a product. My classmates came up with some interesting products. I wrote about Mr. Clean lol. I'm a housewife right now what can I say? Plus I knew everyone was going to write about clothing and electronics and I wanted to do something different. I am going to go cross stitch now. I am doing this project that is the four seasons. Spring, summer, fall, winter and it has different chairs. It's cute. I am also doing a noah's ark birth announcement for my coming soon nephew. And I am crocheting a stark white baby blanket for him. I just don't want to do anything. Oh and I transferred Storm to his ten gallon. He is a bit clamped so I am going to watch him for a bit. He seems to be liking the duckweed and the heater for protection.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Update on Storm. His body is no longer white. His body is now a flesh color with a white over top. He still has the metallic white scales over his gill plates. His fins are almost completly colored now. He is showing gold, green, white, grey and blue. It's pretty awesome. He looks great! Picture spam to come later.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I can't wait to see pics of Storm. I'm going to post some pics of Nemo later tonight. He's a cutie. He chased two pellets to the bottom and munched them. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Hungry booger!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*New fish pics!*

The single girl is Beauty and the rest is a random sorority shot. That bright red girl is unamed. I got her a few months ago and I had to get a shot. She really brightened up.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Storm is next. He has gotten more color but the camera isn't capturing it yet. He is my newest until my doubletail girl gets here. *Squeal* so excited


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*Pyro Pics*

Next is Pyro, he has fully recovered from his fin rot after FOREVER. He never really had long rays to begin with I think but he looks better.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*Wolverine (the fish lol)*

Here is the veil tale wolverine. He is very long and thick bodied.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Going pet store shopping tomorrow. Should be fun


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I went shopping today at the petstore and guess what little miss "I am not buying any more bettas" did? I bought two more bettas. One new female veil that is emerald green with yellow streaks through her body and yellow fins and a double tail male that looked so darn pathetic I couldn't leave him. He was stark grey with a dull red trying to break through so it should be fun to see how he turns out. I also bought three mystery snails. These are the first snails I have ever owned so should be fun.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Lol You're as bad as me! Your new fish are pretty! My new guy Nemo is red, too.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

dramaqueen said:


> Lol You're as bad as me! Your new fish are pretty! My new guy Nemo is red, too.


I'm telling you, starting bettaholics anonymous on here is looking better and better. Thanks for the compliments. In the past week Storms fins have gotten even more blue but his body is staying white not flesh like you would expect. Interesting little bugger. I got him a snail buddy so we will see how he does there. He is a pretty timid fish but a bud is a good test of his agression. It's a big snail so maybe he will be scared of it. LOL. Do you see that one totally bright metallic blue ray on Pyro? I have never seen that before on a red. Little weirdo. He spends his time trying to catch gnats for me but only succeeds occasionally. Poor fella. I'm glad his tail looks better but now Thor is having issues since he is a tailbiter. I had to up his water changes a bit because he is getting the dreaded rot. 

I'm having a really bad school day. My marketing professor is confusing the crap outta me. SHe told me we could work on thanksgiving break which would mean we had two weeks to do week three of our class right? No. She bombs it to everyone that we get one week and I stay up for twelve hours until five a.m. completing a presentation and two papers. I get an A on the presentation but a B and a C on the papers because of the APA Formating she will not help me at all with. She just keeps telling me I am doing it wrong. Then she gives me an F on a discussion after giving me positive a hundred percent positive feedback on it. I don't understand and I am so frustrated and confused. I am going to be really angry if this person is the reason I don't keep my A B streak. Right now my average is a 94 but that F is killing me. I just don't understand and she hasn't responded to my emails. I just wanna cry. I have worked so hard to keep my average up and she just picks and picks and doesn't tell anyone what they are doing wrong. :-?


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Can you meet with her in person? I had a problem with one of my professors in college. She intimidated me and finally I told her so.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I probably could but I don't think it would be worth it. I only have a week and a half left with her.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I am getting friggin tired of anxiety. I thought anti anxiety meds were supposed to help.

Funky week with the fish. I had to remove Wanda from the sorority. She is missing too many fins for my liking so she may be a solitary lady. She is too old to handle to much nipping. She is about 2. She deserves some rest. I have been spoiling her this week with brine shrimp yummys. Man those things stink.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I hear you on the anxiety. It sucks! Mine isn't as bad as it was 2 years ago but I still have it. I don't know whether to continue the zoloft or not. I'm no longer going to the Dr who prescribed it.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Here is Rango. The baby long tailed lizard.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

What a wild week. I don't even know were to begin. I finished my class with that Professor and I think I figured out the problem. She is using a different style of APA formating than I was taught I think. Oh well it's over with now. 
My shepard tryed to kill me. I fell out of my back door because he moved my steps (mobile home) and I had a bag of trash in front of me so I couldn't see. So my family has been thanking God all week that I didn't break my neck. I fell onto the AC unit and then hit the ground. I ended up with a bruised hip and a huge bruise under my upper arm and back pain but I am okay.
I go to the petstore a few days later and got bit by a ferret. This is the reason I will never own one. I got a three hundred and fifty six dollar electric bill. 
I do have three little good things that happened to me. I got hermit crabs! I am already going to upgrade their habitat. I don't like it and it's too small. It's cute but to little. I am going to get them a five gallon since there is only three and get them some stuff to play on. I just love them. The biggest will only come out of his shell for me, he doesn't like jeff. The big one is rambo, the blue one is midnight and the pinkish one is teddy. You probably won't hear from me til after Christmas everyone but Merry Christmas and God bless you all.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I wasn't going to get on her until after Christmas but a lot has happened. I may be getting a house (cross your fingers, stand on your head and pray DQ). And the neighbors got evicted so they are tearing down their mobile home in front of us. Kinda cool but now I have no wind blockage LOL. I will be a rockin' with the wind.

I upgraded my hermit crabby's to a ten gallon with eco earth substrate. That stuff is going to be great for fertilizer in the spring.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I hope everything works out for you to get a house. Then you don't have to worry about moving steps. Lol. I'm glad you're ok.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yea those moving step are a doozy! My arms still hurts a little lol. The things we go through for our pets. I can't be mad at that fuzzy face. Especially when he lays it on my knee and looks up at me.

Two classes to go and I get my associates degree!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yay! Two classes isn't too bad.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Yep I'm excited. I'm on break until January eighth and then I have abt six weeks in each class and its one degree down, four more to go. I got a baby bunny today! Jeff bought me a bunny named winny, a fish tank born.went for my sorority, a pair of earrings, and some body spray. I got him a drill but I dont work so I don't get much money. He doesn't care he says he just likes spoiling me. My bunny is spoiled to, he has a large cage for such a tiny bunny!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Oh we got some new steps today too for the back door... steps with hand rails


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

This day is sucky right now. I have a family with a ton of genetic disorders and they all freak me out. On get togethers they sit around the kitchen table and they compare illnesses and everyone goes out and gets tested for things and add on and on. I almost want to never get checked for anything and die. It makes me so nervous they are causing stomach issues. I am almost in tears when I talk to them. My sister even asked me to join her blog about her health issues! I am so afraid to see a doctor anymore because I don't want to be like them sitting around the table comparing diseases. It's so depressing....


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

here's Winny!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Welp, happy new year. I can say I am glad 2012 is over. I am still worried about this year. Lot's of medical crap to deal with coming in my future.

Well the Professor I was complaining about? Finally caught on to her problem. She was grading me based on an APA I am not used too. I was taught different and aparently they revised it since I learned it or something. I still got graded lower for it but my final was 94 or something so I should finish with an A in that class. Next one starts on the 8th. Only two more classes to go and my AA is over! Then I start my BA after I find a decent job to pay for my loans and what FASFA won't pay. I know it will be a struggle well worth it. 

My husband is losing his mind. He is trying to find another puppy. I am going to be so mad if he brings another dog home. Here is my list of critters now.

11 fish tanks
3 hermit crabs
2 dogs
1 bunny
1 pacman frog
1 long tailed lizard

I do all the care by myself. He gets these animals and puts them off on me the rotten man.  Not like I LOVE my animals or anything


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm pretty sick. I am laying in bed. Double ear infection means no fun for me. My poor house is a wreck. I need a house keeper


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I started my Economics class today. The Professor seems really nice but it's only the first day so we have to see how it goes. The material is going to be interesting I think. I am feeling a little bit better but my ears don't feel like they are improving at all. This is day four of my antibiotics so hopefully we will see some improvements tomorrow.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

It seems like a lot of people are sick right now. I hope you feel better soon! I have a cousin who in in the hospital right now with meningitis and it's not looking good. He's had seizures and is on a ventilator.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

menengitis is scary and I will keep him in my prayers. Thanks for your good wishes. I wasn't able to smell or taste anything until today. I am sort of happy to have my taste buds back but the medicine is gross. It's in a liquid form in that bubble gum flavored suspension. It doesn't help.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Bubblegum flavor? Eww. Lol


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

If you can imagine liquified bubble gum with a pill smashed in there's the taste. Today is my last dose thankfully


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I got my bunny a brand new shiny cage. Jeff took me out to olive garden. I believe he will have heartburn for days now. 

I am getting nervous now that graduation is nearing. I am scared to death to get on the stage. I will probably trip. I am way too clumsy. At least it will be memorable.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well, I am trying to get motivated to write my first two papers since break. I am so bummed about having two papers the first week back. They are due tomorrow at midnight. I am not worried because once I get typing usually I can write them in a half an hour. I think they are only two pagers. 

Since my anxiety has lessoned it's grip on me the depression is starting to take over. I am getting nervous about graduation coming up since I still have a few more hurdles to jump before I qualify. I am always scared that something is going to get in the way of what I want. That is hard to admit. 

On a happier note I got a black orchid crowntail male finally. I found him at walmart. And my bunny got a cage upgrade which he seems to be enjoying. He likes to sleep on the slide thing.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I am missing my father-in-law today. As I get closer and closer to graduation I think about how he isn't going to be there in person cheering me on. I know he will be there in spirit anyways. I feel the man is a saint in some ways. I look at my mother in law now and I have no idea how he raised children with her. I don't understand what attracted a sweet man to an overbearing woman. A woman that lies and shows favoritism to her kids. It makes me sick when I hear about how she has only one baby girl and her baby boy died. It's never pride for her eldest. Her one kid she has left that is trying to make something of himself. It isn't right. But still, I will never understand how he was able to raise four respectable boys and none of them come out bitter. That's a good dad. Not to say my mother in law isn't a good mom. She would go to bat for any of her kids at any time. I just can't stand her split personality. When she gets mad at one she hates them both. She supports the screw up and lets the one who is trying figure everything out on his own. I don't know what she thinks is going to happen when she dies. She is only hurting her daughter. Man I miss my Father-in-law.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I thought she has two kids.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Na, My Mother-In-Law techically has a bunch of babies she helped raise. I just re read that message I posted. That was confusing. There should be a ban when you are overly sad and angry.

She has three by her first husband. Her youngest son passed away. So that leaves two that she gave birth too living. She shows favoritism to her daughter which makes me sick. She has had four step children. Three of which she has helped raise. So she has three kids and has four step children. My sister-in-law is going to be that way too I think. She plans on popping out this one and getting pregnant again right after and she has a step son too. That is why I am so happy I married a man with no children. I have dated men with kids and after that I told my self no more step children. I am so happy Jeff is kid free.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*really bad night.*

First I knock one of my small tanks to the ground then I find my pacman frog dead. I just want to crawl into a hole. My head hurts and I have to stay up and tell my husband that our frog is dead and explain why there's a huge water spot on the floor.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well I ended up needing some space so I had to get rid of six small tanks in a hurry. I crunched all the males into two ten gallons. I let Nero loose and added two breeder boxes (with lids) to it for Pyro and the one unamed boy. in the other ten I put red, thor and the other unamed boy in large mason jars and added about five gallons of water between them so I could add a heater. It's working so far and a space saver until I figure out something better. And they have heaters now so I don't have to worry about the temps dropping in this crappy friggin' trailer. 

Schools going pretty good and Jeff and I had a nice long weekend. He had five days off of work. We spent a lot of time together and we sort of felt like us again. It was pretty nice napping all day in bed and watching movies.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*Couple of fish pics*

Haven't gotten Nero or Storm on here in a while. See DQ? You were right. He went from clear to blue in clean water. Nobody worry k? Nero Storm and Pyro share a ten but Pyro and Storm are in secure breeders. Nero is a little clamped but I attribute that to the move. 

I also have a girl turned boy I will be trying to get pics of soon. So glad I quarantine before adding to my sorority. :shock: Speaking of sorority. my girls are getting very colorful for "dull females" aren't they?


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Your girls are so pretty!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks! I love my ladies. Well I got suckered by two faces today. I disabled bulldog named bubbles and a rat named Jack Jack (From Cinderella) Jack Jack is freaked out right now, he is a baby so he needs adjusting time. I hope to hear about adopting bubbles soon. She is an English bulldog who is deaf who was almost put down because of it. I have had a blind dog and jeff has had a deaf dog before so we can handle her. The current owner can't. She needs hand signal and vibration training. She will be fabulous.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm sure both the dog and rat will settle down and be fine once they realize that only good things are going to happen now that they're with you.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

thank you. i just hope i get miss bubbles. we havent heard back yet.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I can't wait to get my dog.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

We lost Red yesterday. Three years old. Not to bad for a Wal-Mart betta. He was my oldest. Now Patty takes that slot. 

I got a job I am starting Friday. I am a little scared though because I found out today the manager that hired me is gone and I was counting on him to be my mentor. It was weird. I talked to him around noon and when I went to the store I will be working at to pick something up at four they said he didn't work there anymore. I am afraid of how it is going to turn out now. I am nervous.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm sorry about Red. I hope everything works out with your job.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*Depression again*

I have depression like many people on here. I have a problem though. I feel like anything I do wrong eats away at my insides until I can't stand it anymore. I don't know what to do other than pray that my faults and wrong doings are forgiven but they eat at me and eat at me. I feel like I am a horrible person and that I will never do anything right in my life. I sometimes find myself trying to justify the wrong just to make myself feel better. The things I do wrong just won't go away no matter how much I try to ask for forgiveness and forgive myself. How do you let go of things you do wrong?


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## sparkyjoe (Feb 27, 2012)

Hey, Shirley! 

I too have been dealing with some depression. Mine is mostly related to my health. 

Yes, it is tough to work through our wrong doings. For me, I fall back on my faith by trying to remember that there was only ever one perfect person and I'm not Him. Also, I can't "forget" what I have done, I can only "forgive" myself for failing, learn from my mistakes, and try not to do the same thing again. I also try to remember that love is unconditional.

Blessings,
j


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

sparkyjoe said:


> Hey, Shirley!
> 
> I too have been dealing with some depression. Mine is mostly related to my health.
> 
> ...


Hey Joe, it's been a while. Thanks for your words. It helps when people get how you feel. I do need to remember to forgive myself. I just hope I am not put in the position I was in again. Mine depression is health too, mental health anyways. Sometimes I wonder if getting a diagnosis is a good thing. It sometimes feels like it makes it worse to have a long list of crap put in your head. I got mental diagnosis' of Generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and dysthimic disorder.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I often feel like everything I do is wrong. I can't ever get the house clean enough for my mother's liking, I'm a horrible cook etc. All we can do is do the best we can and take it one day at a time.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

It stinks to feel useless. No matter what I accomplish I feel like I am a screw up. I bet I could be a CEO and find something I did wrong along the way. Thank you friend.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

*Got a ferret*

I got a ferret. I had to do it. He was all alone at the pet store plus I am terrified of them. I like to face my fears. He is a couple months old. Born on Christmas day of last year. His name is Bandit of course. He is doing pretty well. We got him a bunch of toys to play with yesterday and his crying for me is calming down some. :-D


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## sparkyjoe (Feb 27, 2012)

Awww, how sweet!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

He is a cuddly baby. We have to work on the nipping of course though.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Aww, how cute!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Bandit is still doing great. He has learned how to crawl up my arm out of his cage now. I think this ferret was a great idea my husband had. I was terrified of ferrets now he is crawling up my arm! I think I am going to get a spider or a snake since I am scared of them when I get a ten gallon free next. Neither will be crawling up my arm any time soon though. 

Oh next bit of news:

Almost party time! :O I am on my last week of college and it looks like I am going to be able to keep on my all A's and B's goal! Meaning, I have a total GPA above 3.5! WOOOOOO

Oh and my sis in law is having her baby hopefully tomorrow and I take my mom to a doctors appointment tomorrow. What an exciting and busy week. I don't do good with busy.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

How did it go with your sister in law? I hope all went well for her and the baby. I hope everything is ok with your mom.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well I have a healthy, new baby nephew as of Friday at 8:06 p.m. Sis in law is healthy and all is well  He is a beautifult baby. He has my husbands hair color which is cool. He also has my husbands chubby cheeks just like when he was born.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Aww, I'm glad everything went well and mom and baby are doing well.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Got my final grades back from my last semester. I got a 3.9 GPA for the entire semester and a 3.7 AVG GPA for all my grades combined. Decided I am not going to wait long to go back. I am going to go for my bachelors with a concentration in Logistics Management in the Fall.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

If you wait too long then you may not go back at all.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

That is true, very true.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well, good news. Apparently I have enough FASFA to cover my BA. I decided on going for a concentration in Logistics (warehouse and factory operation). So I should start again in June.

More good news, my sister in law who just had the baby decided to sign up for community college courses. I would have rather her go to University but It's better than doing nothing and more than I thought she would do. Now I'll be praying she finishes. The family has been telling me the reason she wants to go is because she saw me do it. I am glad I could help encourage someone further their education if that is true.

See I come from a family that didn't value education that much. Neither of my parents completed high school (mom did go and get her GED in her 40's). And my sister dropped out of college, my brother never went. We lived in a tiny trailer and lived on what my dad made which wasn't much. So I hope I can be a source of encouragement to my nieces and nephews. Anyone else is just a bonus. Hard work pays of kids! 

Oh some more good news. My husband is getting a promotion and 70 cents more on the hour so that's good. I am thinking about going back to caregiving part time while I am in school. I can work my own hours.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Good news! It looks like things are looking up. I hope your sister in law will stick with it. Just keep encouraging her. Congrats on your husband's promotion! Yay!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks, I'm pretty excited. Things are starting to look better. Especially since I decided to be seen and not heard when I am around my in-laws. They were stressing me out so much. I decided not to try to give them advice anymore since it just falls on deaf ears. And guess what happens? My sis in law signs up for college. Maybe the trick was to keep my mouth shut? Maybe I should be quiet and she will stop treating her husband bad too...


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

My mom is always getting things mixed up and when I try to correct her she goes ballistic.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

yea it's a human condition thing I think. Why can't people shut up and learn from thier mistakes rather than assume everyone is attacking them.

I have a new issue today. i am sick of people talking about adult things around impressionable children. This is why I am so messed up as an adult and afraid of everything. I was 8 and was staying up all night having panic attacks because my parents said they couldn't pay the bills and they could lose the house. A bit of advice to parents who think their kids don't pay attention.... THEY DO.

Plus side of today is I got some premiere cuddle time with the new baby. I love snuggling babies but he made me sleepy.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Little disappointed in my sister-in-law today. She caught her husband cheating three times now in the past month and keeps making excuses as to why he is staying. I thought she was smarter than that. I don't understand why people like abuse.

I got my tickets for my graduation ceremony today. Nervous but excited. I'm more excited to start my bachelors degree though.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yeah, I'm sure it's going to be nerve wracking but you'll get through it. Congrats! I'm proud of you, my friend!


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks I am getting excited. My baby nephews hair keeps getting more of a red tint. He is cute but scrawny looking baby. His hair is exactly the same as my husbands. I have gotten my garden ready to go but of course now that things are sprouting we have a frost advisory  I have some seeds I started inside though that have sprouted. Here's to hoping I don't kill them. 

I had to redo my two ten gallons. One is housing the remaining girls from my large sorority. Only four lived. The other ten hods Nero and Pyro. Pyro is in a covered breeder. They ended up having to go on my kitchen counter so that is interesting. I had to move them to make room for a large crate for my shepard to go in when we leave since he won't stay out of the trash.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well my school has me all jacked up. They are starting me this Tuesday rather than in June. And they already replaced my computer course with a religion course called discipleship. That's okay though. It's a good thing in a way because they said I did well in that class in my AA so I don't have to take it again. But I was looking forward to the computer course though.  
My first week back and I have to take a couple of quizes and an APA refresher lesson. Sigh, I so hate APA formating.

I want to say thank you Dramaqueen because wether you know it or not your words hit home with me. "If you wait to long you may not go back" I needed to hear that to get motivated all over again. Thanks friend


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

You're welcome! Best of luck with your new classes.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Well I am officially a graduate. I survived commencement. It was actually pretty fun once I got in there and caught up with some of my class members. A couple of things got messed up like the walking path and the president of the college told us to turn our tassles the wrong way. Other than that. I felt pretty comfy and I didn't trip. My dad gave me a big hug for the first time in a long time and he actually cryed. Now it's time to get back on track and get my BA done. I got my first week down already. Two more years to go  then I have another two years for my masters and God only knows how long for the Ph.D. Should be interesting.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I'm glad everything went so well for you.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I have to cover the plants tonight. The weather channel said we have patchy frost coming, my garden is under a tree. Good thing I didn't plant much. Most of the garden is plants that came back from last year. I got some really nice begonia's and a couple of miniature roses to plant when it warms back up a little. My seeds I planted in doors are still to small to plant. My sister is getting impatient :O

Class is going really well. So far I have an A average. I still have my goal of finishing all of my classes with a final grade of A or B. Went next door and cleaned the apartment for my SIL. She is getting out of her moms house and moving on the other side of me. Sigh, in-Law's to my left, in-Law's to my right. Husbands cousin lives behind me, I am surrounded. Now wonder I am nuts.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

lol We just can't get away from the nuts, can we?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Totally, sigh, I want to move so badly. Lol. Class is still going well. The religion classes are getting to me though. I am taking four this degree, at least three are in a row. I like learning about different religions and more about my own but I am getting a little tired of the hypocracy of them. I don't go to church so that means I am soul that needs to be saved *eye roll* I worship my own way and in the comfort of my house. The Bible doesn't say we have to be in a building to worship and sing His praises. I also don't like how this class talks so much about finances. They say we should be giving twenty percent of our income to a church. I don't agree with that. You have to take care of yourself before you can help others. Although this twenty percent belief makes me understand why so many church officials drive such nice vehicles Hmm.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I believe the Bible says 10% doesn't it?


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I haven't seen any verses that say any percent honestly. I know there are verses about a parable of God telling a rich man to give away all of his worldly possesions to he can gain entry in to Heaven.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I sent you an e mail.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I am hoping I talked my Brother-in-Law in to seeing a therapist. Keep your fingers crossed.


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

I hope everything works out.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I don't think he is going to go but I have hope. He needs to go. My SIL I think has talked herself out of college now. She failed the admissions exam once and because she couldn't pass simple fractions she hasn't been all excited about retaking it. I think she is going to make an excuse. But that is fine, it's her future.

I am sitting here right now watching the wild birds out of my front window. It's been raining this morning. I have some beautiful blue birds and a male and female cardinal who come to my house almost every day. I haven't seem my crow yet. He lands in my yard and chases off squirrels. My garden looks the best it ever did here. It is so nice. I have been painting the metal front steps and I am going to do the back steps next. If I can paint this place white and buy some hurricane strapes I would stay here. I like this area and I do sometimes like living near family. Oh! my blue bird is back


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Watching the birds sounds relaxing. I got up early and I've been packing up some boxes.


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

for me, the packing isn't to bad, it's the unpacking. I hated trying to get all of my crap in my house. I have a lot of crap thanks to my hoarder husband. Not that my house is cluttered. I put it all in two rooms in the back so I don't have to look at it


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

I had my party last saturday. it was a lot of fun. I had forty guests but my brother was in a bad mood. that didn't ruin it though. I had a funny moment with an ex. he called and told my mom he wished he didn't screw it up. I found my forever relationship in my husband. It isn't my fault that he messed it up. 

I am five weeks in to the new degree, my BA. I have already had seven papers assigned. It's a lot more work than the AA.


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## Fabi (May 29, 2013)

Nice journal you got there! )


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## Shirleythebetta (Jan 9, 2012)

Thanks friend!


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## dramaqueen (Jul 7, 2008)

Yeah, I'm sure it's a lot more work but you can do it!


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