# Male and Female Bettas together



## eatmice2010 (Jan 1, 2013)

When i lived in Norwalk, Connecticut, I had a 10g that had two females and a male together. They stayed together for about a year and a half, and never picked on each other or any thing mean. I usually called the girls the gossip squad because they were always swimming together. But then i move, so both my nieces took the two girls and i took my boy (which was a white HM) with me, but he died about six months after we moved to VA. So I was wondering has anyone else ever had success with both genders together?


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

:I a year's nothing. and 10 gallons is really too small to risk that. i'm sure there were fights you didn't see, many times.

the ONLY time this has worked is, one user has a male who lives with females, and is only there because he was mislabled as a female and was put in a sorority, and another user has or had a blind betta who lived peacefully with their sorority.

i, myself, keep my tanks next to each other, so my males can see my females, and vice versa. Lulu enjoys watching Manhattan swim, and he always flirts with her(nothing will ever come of that, though. he's a young veiltail, she's a 3 almost 4 year old Plakat. but, he DID build his bubble nest right above her tank. it's adorable, really)...


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## Myates (Aug 2, 2011)

Many people, especially breeders, keep opposite sex bettas together with no problems in 20g or less.. will also keep 2-3 females together in smaller tanks such as 5 gallons with no problems. And not all are siblings. 

I highly NOT recommend trying it, but these fish are a bit more social than we give them credit.. some are laid back enough to get away with it, others not so much and should not be with another betta. It's a case by case situation with these fish - you will find a lot of times the ones that are successful are the ones where there weren't a whole lot of people interaction. This isn't something I would want someone new to the world of bettas to attempt purposefully.


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## eatmice2010 (Jan 1, 2013)

Luimeril- no affence but I didn't ask for your criticism. And a sure sign of a fight is usually torn fins and wounds which they did not have. They would pass each other all the time with no fights. And most people that love fish stare at there fish for along time, I would find my self staring at my fish for at least an hour.


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

i'm just saying. :I fights don't always end in fin rips. and you can't see them ALL the time. i love watching my bettas, too, but i can't do it when i'm not in the room, or at the store, or sleeping.

there's many topics just like this one on this site. and everyone agrees that it's just not a good idea. the two stories i've heard that have done it were under VERY specific conditions.


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## LadyVictorian (Nov 23, 2011)

+1

a lot of the fighting can also happen between the girls. They can fight aggressively for the right to mate with the male. I have heard of females even killing another for that right and the male killing other females after the pair mate and have their nest.

Personally I would never do it for the risk and the accident breeding's. I always think of putting sexually mature animals together as asking for accidents to happen. It's like when people have a male and female pet rats and neither is neutered then they get angry at the rats when they have 50 babies. WELL DUH. What did you THINK was going to happen? Grrr....then they get all angry and punish the rats for it by giving them all to a shelter and saying they are the worst pets ever. I think the rats agree they were the worst owners ever so the feeling is mutual. Sorry end rant on how angry those people make me. 

But yeah wouldn't do it for accident spawns. Not interested in raising 'mill' fish spawn that aren't worth a thing. Also if they spawned they could mix tails and get all kinds of wonky weird fish no one wants. You would have to cull the whole nest.


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## eatmice2010 (Jan 1, 2013)

Alright and why would they swim together if they were fighting, in most cases of females fighting, one usually stays AWAY from the winning female which they did not- they would swim together. And i sat there and said they were together for 1 1/2 years which is enough time for them to hit breading with in that time. And i never said it was a good idea i always tell people when im on this forum that it wont work, but when i was younger it did work. I used to video tape them all together but i haven't been able to find my videos. And if you have three fish in a ten gallon tank, then when they swim they always end up crossing each others path and sitting there for at least an hour im positive just from watching how my bettas act that i would of been bound to see a fight. And not to be rude, but its common sense that when for example: two males are in a ten gallon they are going to fight just about every time they cross paths.


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## Myates (Aug 2, 2011)

eatmice had posted this saying their experience of this _in the past_. There really is no reason to get upset at someone for asking if others do this because of something that happened in the past (that ended up fine for them). Oldfishlady does it, so do some other breeders on the forum here.. eatmice was just asking if others had success in this too.. not asking if they should do it again, etc. 

A lot of people who don't research in depth don't know they can't do this and end up having this set up and with the fish not harming each other their whole lives. The longer they are together, the older the fish, the more calm they are and the likelihood of problems arising after they were together for 1.5 yrs is low. So some people never are aware of the problems that could of happened at the beginning. 

No, it's not recommended as it could easily turn south if the person isn't watching closely, or doesn't know their betta's "personality". But it does happen regularly to many people - they will intentionally place them together and have no trouble. Heck, many of my pairs that are virgins I keep them in the same tank for a long time together while they "figure out what to do", and they either just end up doing their own thing or they become friends and will literally sleep side by side in the plants, etc. Some of mine live just fine together for a long time in anything from 1.5g - 3g with me. 

If one is overly aggressive then no, I wouldn't keep them together, but I have very "gentle" ones that have no issue living with 1-2 more bettas regardless of sex. Many breeders/people will keep 2-3 females in 3-5 gallon tanks for years and have no trouble with aggression at any point. 

It all depends on the betta itself, if it's one that is a bit more aggressive then it won't work. If it's more docile then it may work with the right pairing/s. People who attempt this should be very vigilant, and know the signs to watch for, and to know when to separate before it goes too far. I only stand a very small amount of chasing before I start to watch very very closely.. I have learned what to look out for - length of time each chase lasts, how determined the one is to catch and the other is to get away, body language, mouth position, etc. And anyone else who keeps their fish together in unisex tanks successfully does the same thing. 
I only would do male/females together - I wouldn't attempt two males together personally. My males who pay no mind to the females when not in breeding mode will still try to attack any male it sees. 

No, it's not recommended because many people don't know what to look for when selecting fish to keep together in the same tank. Or they create an environment more for show than for "natural", etc. No, it's not recommended because most people don't even know the proper way to care for these fish and shouldn't try something that has potential to harm one or more fish. Under certain circumstances I would be more than happy to help someone set up a community that includes both a male and female/s, but generally I say no. 

You would be surprised what actually goes on, what experienced breeders/keepers (and I'm talking decades, etc) actually do and how they keep these fish that if they were to say anything on these forums they would be bashed and yelled at. I have talked to some of the really experienced people here who have told me just that.. they say one thing but do another because of how many people/new owners think. It's not a knock on people who are helping, or on anyone in particular - but keeping a betta for a year or two doesn't equal knowledge. It means you know your fish, and it means you know the basics. But as far as how to keep/care/breed/feed you will be surprised at how it differs between people with a few pets and people who have hundreds, thousands.. and people all over the world.

So show a little peace.. don't judge.. recommend not scold.. a question was brought up, not a debate.  We all love these fish, if we did't we wouldn't be here.


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## eatmice2010 (Jan 1, 2013)

Thank you Myates


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## Skyewillow (Dec 28, 2012)

Sometimes, people on here tend to get a little overzealous, I've noticed. And while that's great for the fish, that kind of attitude unchecked could scare a new owner off from asking a question that could mean the life or death of their fish.

We're all here to advocate for the bettas, there's absolutely no excuse to let your passion get the better of you and forget COMpassion too!

I've had a setup similar to yours, Eatmice, 3 girls, one male in a 10. The only reason I no longer have that set up? My temps boosted into the upper 90's and my fish fuzzed up overnight and died. It happens almost every time my temp gets above 76, here and at the old house. I had no nips, tears, or fighting other than someone was in a prime sleeping spot. I had plenty of cover and decor to break the line of sight, and my male kept to himself.


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## eatmice2010 (Jan 1, 2013)

Skyewillow AWWW, i so sorry for your fish and thank you. I hate sometimes posting up here because of that reason so thank you Skyewillow and Myates


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## Skyewillow (Dec 28, 2012)

eatmice2010 said:


> Skyewillow AWWW, i so sorry for your fish and thank you. I hate sometimes posting up here because of that reason so thank you Skyewillow and Myates


Any time.


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