# Why do most people NOT consider fish - pets?



## BunnyCates (Nov 18, 2011)

I am curious about this. Why is it most people don't consider fish 'pets'?

With my sick fish ordeal - I've been told I was CRAZY for worrying about "a fish". That I shouldnt be spending money on meds for him. and that I should just flush him and get a new one.

And now that he's passed, people seem surprised I am upset over it. OF COURSE IM UPSET! 

I posted on facebook last night that I was sad that Fishelstein had passed away, and someone replied with "mmm.. instant sushi" :shock: Not only is that insensitive - it's just RUDE! So I unfriended the person. Ya know? It wasn't anyone I know IRL, anyway and I sure would rather not deal with people like that! They then PM'd me on FB to ask why I unfriended them, that it was just a joke - etc. And told me to grow up, it was "just a fish" and they'd buy me 20 more if it would stop me from whining. What the crap?!


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## Luimeril (Dec 29, 2010)

it's because for years, they were disposable. first pets, easily replaced. Just a dollar or so. :T


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## Myrtaceae (Dec 17, 2011)

Fish are definitely one of those things people 'get' or they don't. 

As for the sushi comment, people who aren't very funny on their own (or having nothing else to say) will recycle old jokes and not think about it. It's never okay to be rude about the death of someone's pet though; no matter what it is. I have a personal vendetta against hamsters, but that's not something that needs to be mentioned to a grieving owner.

The best we can hope for is the people who think fish are decorations don't get them. Whenever I hear someone mention getting a fish, I always start talking about how much work they are. Not in a totally negative way, but dropping enough comments to suggest that there is research to be done 'e.g. what are you using to cycle the tank?' or something. 

I think it is getting better. I came back from a few years away from the hobby and both of my local chain pet stores have improved a bit.


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## trilobite (May 18, 2011)

I guess because all you can really do is look at them. You cant touch them or play with them like a "real" pet. And because they are so cheap and easy to replace. 
They aren't really considered to be members of the family like a dog or cat would be and therefore people dont tend to build emotional attachments to them.


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## purplemuffin (Aug 12, 2010)

A lot of people think a pet has to 'give something back'---Fish don't purr. They don't wag their tails with joy. We say they dance for us, but they are really just trying to get to food. We do get something from our fish though--we get joy just from the fact that they are healthy and strong. We love to take care of them. Many people are not quite this selfless, and need a pet who can play with them and wag their tails. That's just what some people view a pet as!


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## Sena Hansler (Aug 24, 2011)

because they "do not have emotions" they "cannot do math" they "have nothing to give back". all quoted from people who scoffed at my fish keeping. They can turn and flush it down the toilet because it doesn't yelp, cry out in pain, they cannot cuddle, they "don't love you back". There are also very many people who see ANY animal as disposable. "I'm tired of this pony I want another." "I don't like this dog he bit me (after pulling his tail) I don't want him." It's just the sad truth.

Well, as for me my bettas do tricks. They are smart enough to comprehend "do this get food". Spartan, you could put your hand in his tank and he'd come over and sit in your hand. and when people who own fish actually see the suffering the fish goes through when they have dropsy, or ich, or cancer... and compare it to "how would I feel if I was itchy, bloated, dying?" they give the fish a reason, a purpose, a name, a life.


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## phanphan1 (Dec 20, 2011)

Thats aweful! Im sorry. Some people just dont know how the things they say will affect others. So sorry about your fishy


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## Sena Hansler (Aug 24, 2011)

Some people also know how things they say affect people  and use it to their advantage, because "fish are stupid" which makes me in turn want to tell them they are dumber than my fish, since they lack social skills >.> but I don't.  because I'm not a righteous butt. :lol:

and thanks to them I don't care what people say :lol:


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## Oldfishlady (Mar 1, 2010)

We understand and so you always have us and this site...."we get it"......some more than others with lots of passion for our scaly friends..."wet-pets".....around here.....


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## Alienchick017 (Jul 11, 2011)

I get the "its just a fish" all the time from my family but they are the type that also believe "its just a dog" and "its just a cat". Its frustrating but more sad than anything for people to feel that way about other living creatures


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## Bombalurina (Oct 10, 2011)

I don't understand the "it's just a..." mentality in relation to any animal. I may not like insects (even though "it's just an insect) but I still don't like to kill them unless I absolutely have to. If I do have the kill them, I make it one quick slap out of existence. 
I especially don't understand it about fish. I actually get it more about my rats than I do my fish, though. My friends don't understand why I spent more than $1000 on vet bills for them this year. When they were sick, my supervisor at work said, "Why don't you just get a new one?" and many of my friends make jokes about killing them or getting a cat. If I get upset about those jokes, I'm "over sensitive". 

So yeah, I totally sympathise with you. I don't understand it at all.


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## Sena Hansler (Aug 24, 2011)

I agree about the "over sensitive" bit they pull on ya. It's a pet. I really want to turn around to someone and be all "how about I smash your lame guitar. it's just a guitar after all." or something they really care for. like, if someone had a dog, said "it's just a fish" I'd turn around and say "you complain your dog whines too much. you should get a new one, it's just a dog after all." But I don't because it comes across as being harsh (well... same medicine they dish out isn't it?)


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## thekoimaiden (Oct 19, 2011)

I've gotten the "it's just a fish" before from a few people (mostly my father; my mom understands my passion). I shut them up very quickly with my knowledge of fish physiology, biology, and the ecology of my tank. Generally, I save myself from this conversation by not telling anyone about my passion unless they are someone who "gets it." It could be another hobbyist or a diehard animals lover. I'm a very guarded person (somewhat bordering on paranoia, but that's another can of bloodworms).

I know people say that fish "don't interact with you," but they do. They are smarter than people think; they feel pain. Most have a rather inquisitive nature and are always perplexed as to why your hands are in the tank. And express this with a nip or a nibble. 

I think another reason people have the mindset of "it's just a fish" is that fish (in general) are some of the only pets that are hunted and harvested for food (and sometimes just to say that you can trick an animal into biting something). Right now, I can't think of any species that are commonly kept that are also either farmed or harvested, but I know close relatives of many are considered food fish. The popularity of fishing may have contributed to this general consensus, too. 

Love many. Trust few. And always paddle your own canoe.


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## Arashi Takamine (Mar 3, 2011)

I could go on for hours about jerks who brag on Youtube how they feed their injured and sick betta's to their turtle and then yell at me when I tell them that they're horrible for doing that or someone showing their new HMPK in a video and then they're all like: "NOW UPLOAD HIM FIGHTING!" Again..I wish I could reach through the screen and hit them all with a yaoi paddle some days.
'It's just a fish'

Worst.Phrase.Ever.Coined.


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## Sena Hansler (Aug 24, 2011)

I got scoffed at for having this site up in a school.

"a site for betta fish. serously? pfft." -as he logs onto pokemon site-
me: "a site. for pokemon that should've stopped years ago. really? pfft."
him: "pokemon is a hobby."
me: "as are fish."
him: ".....true."
me: so this site isn't stupid."
him: "guess not."


argument, backfire, point. :lol:


ooo talking about betta fighting. an inexperienced knucklehead decided "hey. bettas. fight. okay!" I believe he thought they were 3 males. It was like... a female and two males, or two females and a male. in a cup. half filled. The one male was terribly sick, he wasn't fighting. the female is a female... a submissive one. and the other one is more or less.... "so......what now?" and considering the boy cares enough of his "just fish" that male betta probably didn't have energy or means to fight either. He got mad, because he was stupid and thought his fish were stupid. (as in fish code, they are mocking him :lol: )


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## Arashi Takamine (Mar 3, 2011)

Sena Hansler said:


> I got scoffed at for having this site up in a school.
> 
> "a site for betta fish. serously? pfft." -as he logs onto pokemon site-
> me: "a site. for pokemon that should've stopped years ago. really? pfft."
> ...


Heheheh similiar to many an argument I've had over many a subject that lead to randomness after.

(One over who was better lead to the entire anime club listening to music from Repo)

Over that it reminds me of this effer I dealt with six months ago who wouldn't stop yelling at me for saying exactly as I should when they were fighting betta's and putting it online she even went as far as to try to contact me again three months later. I told her stop messaging me that I will still think she's a dumb idiot who doesn't know anything about empathy (the argument lasted for over a week she wouldn't leave me alone)

Then someone said: "Betta's give birth everyday what's one more?"

..........I yelled at him so bad I'm pretty sure he was too scared to respond.

Especially when I started calling them both every name in the book.

Temper: Snapped.


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## watergale (Dec 19, 2011)

i thought my betta died (when in reality she was just messing with me,) and when i was sad my dad came up to me and said it's just a $3 fish whats the big deal? He pulls the same thing every time i ask about possibly buying a heater, i would have given her away to someone who could fully care for her but the only taker was a girl who has a big brother who "feeds" betta to his fish, which means he lets it bite them until they die and flushes the yeah....no way


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## purplemuffin (Aug 12, 2010)

watergale said:


> i thought my betta died (when in reality she was just messing with me,) and when i was sad my dad came up to me and said it's just a $3 fish whats the big deal?


This is part of the joy of growing up and becoming financially independent. "It's just a 3 dollar fish" "It's just a 20 dollar gecko" "it's just it's just it's just" again and again. Our big grown up gecko died because he did not have vet care--he could have easily lived 10 more years with us, or even many more. But his life was cut short, because of parents who were not willing to spend the money on him because he could be replaced. They wouldn't even pay to have him euthanized. 

We never forgot that. They never did either, they know what happened was wrong, if only they had learned sooner. 

We grew up, got jobs. Became independent. It happened again--an injured gecko. This time though.. We didn't have to beg and beg to take her to the vet. We took her ourselves and paid for it with our money. And she got BETTER. She's still with us today, and stronger than ever. 

You can see that his parents feel guilty though. Every time they see speckle they remember what happened to Bubba. They're learning. I don't think the idea that you could LOVE an animal other than a dog cat or bird even came across their minds. They just didn't even think about it, and accepted what they had always been taught. 



It gets better when you get to be on your own. We get to make our own choices. If we have to maybe live on ramen for a few weeks to make sure our animals get vet care when they need it, so be it. If we have to cancel our plan to buy a new playstation 3 because our fish tank cracked, that's our choice. The living things come first. And when we have our own money, we can make those choices. It's awesome.


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## watergale (Dec 19, 2011)

yep


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## Bombalurina (Oct 10, 2011)

I don't know where people get the idea that cost = value in terms of animals. I got my first rats for $10 each. I paid $30 for my next pair, and $20 for my 5th boy. By that logic, I should be willing to spend twice as much on Willoughby as I would on Jekyll or Hyde. As if I could! And suppose someone adopted a stray dog or cat and didn't have to pay anything to do so - would that prevent them paying out for vet bills, even though they'd pay those same bills for a dog that had a $200 adoption fee?
It's not about the money, which makes no sense to many people for whom the world is all about the money.


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## watergale (Dec 19, 2011)

Bombalurina said:


> suppose someone adopted a stray dog or cat and didn't have to pay anything to do so - would that prevent them paying out for vet bills, even though they'd pay those same bills for a dog that had a $200 adoption fee?
> It's not about the money, which makes no sense to many people for whom the world is all about the money.


very true


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## thekoimaiden (Oct 19, 2011)

Arashi, I must say, you are amazing and brave! I never venture into the crazy world of youtube comments. Kick their butts all the way back to yesteryear! 

Watergale, it really does get better once you are financially independent. If someone says something to you, you can reply: "It's my money and I will spend it as I see fit. You can spend your money how you want."



> It's not about the money, which makes no sense to many people for whom the world is all about the money.


So so very true. Some people will simply never understand because they see the world in dollars signs and worth. While most of us have the misfortune of dealing with people like this from time to time, it is really heartbreaking when that person is a close family member. The only way I know to deal with that situation is to just not tell them about your fishkeeping hobby.


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## Tikibirds (May 26, 2011)

Most people I know dont get the fish thing. :evil:


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## Arashi Takamine (Mar 3, 2011)

thekoimaiden said:


> Arashi, I must say, you are amazing and brave! I never venture into the crazy world of youtube comments. Kick their butts all the way back to yesteryear!
> 
> Watergale, it really does get better once you are financially independent. If someone says something to you, you can reply: "It's my money and I will spend it as I see fit. You can spend your money how you want."
> 
> So so very true. Some people will simply never understand because they see the world in dollars signs and worth. While most of us have the misfortune of dealing with people like this from time to time, it is really heartbreaking when that person is a close family member. The only way I know to deal with that situation is to just not tell them about your fishkeeping hobby.


Ho boy you'd be surprised how aggressive I can become with the youtube dolts. Telling them exactly as it is and educating as much as I can. 

I think some breeders were shocked when I asked them realistic questions about their spawn video's asking how the fry were doing, what tail types they turned into ect.

But my parents learned fast that when it came to my pets they only got the best and not the: "Let's see how they do. I mean it's not like we can cure it right?"

I think I scared my dad with how much I learned about tarantula's even going as far as using their scientific names.


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## Myrtaceae (Dec 17, 2011)

purplemuffin said:


> This is part of the joy of growing up and becoming financially independent.


+1. I've spent...well...let's not talk about how much I've spent at petco/petsmart over the past month. :lol: But hey, the mortgage is still getting paid so I can do that if I want to. It'll get easier. 

Actually though, I came back to this thread because I had a coworker give me the old 'why don't you just flush him?' line just today when I mentioned some trouble I had with a cracked tank. I told him to 'go flush himself' *cough* he's upper management, so I couldn't use the word I really wanted to...


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## Sena Hansler (Aug 24, 2011)

-snickers-

aww, your young boy fell out of the tree and broke his arm? All well, he only cost you ever-so-much. Make a new one.

Doesn't THAT sound ridiculous :lol: and that's how I feel when people make my fish insignificant in comparison to whatever they own.


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